Vent...vent and vent more. We all understand fully here. Things just seem to pile up when u'r already feeling stressed and the stress from an unknown illness is even greater. Hang on...as hard as it feels to do right now... and u WILL get thru this. I keep u in my prayers and i know as hard as this all is, u'r gonna be fine.
It'd be easy for me to say don't worry about u'r friends, but i can tell u i've been there and it hurts bad. I had a very close friend who betrayed me and at the same time a new friend moved into our lives. She'd been becomming very close friends with us both, but in the end seemed to be better friends with my best friend. That hurt because i was the third person in an apparant couple and just had no place there. It wasn't the end of the world and i've made some good friends since...a few very good friends whom i'd call my best friend and one is in the same place as me...limbo...and understands entirely what i'm dealing with. That's like gold. Maybe u need someone who can relate. I can tell u that without having been thru what i've already been thru...i couldn't have understood all this. I imagine u'r friends feel that same way. As Uppity said before, come here and tell us u'r worries and troubles and we'll be here. U can't see us, but we're here and we understand.
Hang on...it seems so hard now, but u'll make it.