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photogirl1358
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 299
   Posted 2/15/2007 5:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi guys
 
Today my fiance and I were out and the car started overheating.  No big deal, we got it towed in for service.  Well we found ourselves out in the pounding rain, with no ride home.  It was rush hour so taking a cab would have cost a fortune so we decided to take the bus.  This was fine, until we got near the bridge and it was totally backed up and not moving.  The bus was SO packed, so we had to stand.  about 10 minutes in it hit me that I wasn't going to make it standing on that bus for what could be an hour.  Fatigue hit me and I just needed to sit, it felt like my legs didn't want to hold me up anymore.  I told my fiance we needed to get off the bus and go sit, maybe wait out rush hour, so we did.
 
You're probably wondering what my point is.. lol.  My point is, it kind of hit me today, that I am sick, I am not like everybody else anymore, and I couldn't just "tough it out". 
 
I also got a new supervisor at work, and the old one said he would talk to him about me, my situation, and the reduced schedule I'm on.
 
I guess I didn't think that this soon into this MS thing I'd have special needs.  It didn't feel very good to realize I'll never be "normal" again.  Although, I've never been normal mentally, so at least the body matches the mind... haha.  
eyes  
 
Thanks 4 listening, hope you all are well.
Shar
 
 
 
 
 
Diagnosed with MS April 2006
Longstanding anxiety and depression
Currently on Betaseron


rhondab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2146
   Posted 2/15/2007 11:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Shar

Awww...hang on and don't feel so down. U are normal...u'r normal. No doubt u'll have lots of these realizations, but in time u'll see that there are days that u can do more and days u can't do as much. I guess i'm just saying to hang on and don't feel this is the total limit to things for u'rself. Even tho it's hard and much is apparant to u now, much more is to come into light for u and that could include finding those stronger and better days to come too. I hope u'r feeling better today and will be able to get u'r car repaired and get back out there and enjoy u'r life! Be careful to listen to u'r body and not overdo things, but don't sit down and just accept any limits u haven't 'proven' either. Take care friend!
rhonda
Co-Moderator, MS Forum
 
*~*Sometimes the Lord calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.*~*


snowdog
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 137
   Posted 2/15/2007 12:41 PM (GMT -6)   

 

Hi Shar,

Aren't those moments priceless? The denying stops for a brief second or a minute, and reality
kicks in. 

It's not that any of us don't know what we have or how crappy we feel everyday....but somehow the words don't ring in our ears.....MS MS, YOU HAVE MS.  We just deal with the day as best we can and keep moving down the road.

But every now and then......we do hear the words. We stop in our tracks just long enough to understand what we have and where we may be going. A cold slap in the face.

The good news? is that we jump right back to denial, and keep on moving back down the path. We have to, because there is no where else to go. That is the great thing about this and other forums. The people never give up, they hit bumps like your description.....or a "why me" or "life will never be the same", but we wouldn't be normal?  if we didn't.

Reality checks are good things. They help us understand that although we think we can do everything someone else can do..........we do need to be careful and we do have MS.

Take care of youself Shar. I enjoyed your post very much.

Dog

 

 


tropical dreams
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 2/15/2007 12:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Shar,

I totally understand the REALITY CHECK thingy. It stops me dead in my tracks. There are days I can't even twist off the cap to a mtn dew hahaha, BUT I have had good days too where I think I can conquer a mtn (6 days in a row were really really good) but then MS reminds me once again, and my fiance gives me a BIG BIG HUG and lets me know it's ok. My work knows I have MS but they do not know how bad it gets sometimes (protecting my job) for how long I don't know.

Anywho, hang in there and we are here for you and I really enjoyed your post. Sometimes we feel all alone and we're not:)

Big hugs to you!
***Carla***
 
EVERY DAY I WAKE IS A NEW POSITIVE BEGINNING
 
Dx 08/02/06 MS
Betaseron
Citalopram
Gabapentin


Denda
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 329
   Posted 2/15/2007 1:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Shar -

You know, your post scared me when I read it this morning. It took me a few hours before I could actually post something to it, because it is really hitting home. For the last year, I've felt something has been wrong and now we know something is wrong but of course no dx. But today I had to take my 17 year old son to the dr, just from walking to the drs office, walking to the hospital for some labs, around the hospital for labs, back to the car, to the pharmacy for scripts, then drop him off to home, grab something to eat and then off to work, I felt as though I could cry, but I hide it well or at least I thought I did. My arms and legs felt as though they could have fallen off, my son looked at me and bless his heart asked 'what is wrong with you mom?' 'You have always been so healthy and now you are so weak and tired all the time, I'm really worried about you.'

I really thought I hid this from my family. I know I complain about this stuff once in a while, but I'm still not ready for what life may bring (reality) and this seems to be moving a tad too fast for my taste. I have never been the sick one, I take care of everyone else. I don't know how to be sick, this is all new to me. Thank you for sharing. Maybe by the time my 2nd opinion comes around everything will be gone! ;o) We can only hope. Reality check!

Kudos to you all for facing this disease head on. You all are insightful, wonderful and helpful people. I enjoy reading all of your posts!
I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.
  Author: Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924), 28th U.S. President


AnitaLynn
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 2/15/2007 9:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry you had a pissy day. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Anita

Motown John
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 475
   Posted 2/16/2007 11:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Friday noon
 
Dear Shar:  That was a dual kick in the butt....your car broke down and you had to stand on a crazy crowded bus...
 
I do not mean to come across as a know it all....but, I'll bet you have not been diagnosed for that long.
 
I'll bet (I think) there would have been several people on that bus who would have given up their seat t o you if you or your fiance had said how you were a MS patient who needed to sit down.....as a rule, peoplew are kind (I ha2ve found.)
 
We certainly deserve some sorts of breaks...
 
 
John
 
 
PS--And the fact that you still have a fiance says a lot about him....special guy.

photogirl1358
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 299
   Posted 2/18/2007 12:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for all of your replies!  You are such a great group of people. ((hugs))
 
John you are right, I'm sure people would have given up their seats... but I couldn't ask that, not yet.  I am too young and look well and I couldn't handle it if they didn't believe me or said no.  Not to mention my social anxiety... I'd rather sit on the floor..lol.  It did cross my mind.
Yes I am very lucky to have a great fiance. yeah
 
Thanks again,
Shar
Diagnosed with MS April 2006
Longstanding anxiety and depression
Currently on Betaseron

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