Thanks for the info. I have only worked part time for a year now, and just about every job before this one was a full time job. My husband and I had descussed my work before I left my last job and both felt that it was better for the kids for me to be home more than at work seeing as how his hours were crazy and all over the place. My job title says part time but most of the year starting from this week clear into Feburary I will end up working 30 hours a week or more.
about a year ago, I got one of those statements from Social Security and it said that I will qualify for either program. As for the income, we are stuck in that place that money is tight, but we don't qualify for welfare assisstance for anything as long as I am working.
Right now, I am having more of an issue with my pride and self-esteem. I am afraid to death to have to tell people that I can't work anymore. It feels like I am a failure at life if I can't work. And I'm not sure how to deal with it. Any advice on that one?
I can't help much over the "shame about not working" issue....as that's really a "societal" issue, not specific to you. We've all gotten caught up in the "what do you do for a living?" craze..and if your answer is, "I'm a stay-at-home mom", that seems not acceptable.
There is NO shame in not working, particularly not working because of disability (which obviously is NOT of your doing!). And there should be a LOT of pride in taking care of kids, taking care of a home, doing those family-oriented things.
You've already identified the issues -- your husband's job requires him to work odd hours, sometimes...so kids need one parent available. Your disability is such that working outside the home AND inside the home isn't possible, and working INSIDE the home seems the better option, for both the family and you (presumably if you really didn't WANT to do housework and child rearing, you could hire that -- hypothetically, of course, as it takes $$ and most of us don't have much $$!). Your husband seems supportive of you staying home, so it ought not be a problem there.
So yes, staying at home should be considered a choice, and a positive choice for you and your family. If you continue to feel guilty, your family will feel guilty, and that won't be good. "Mommy is going to stay home and be more available for everyone. Won't that be fun??" might be a good thing to keep saying to yourself! :)
You certainly have a lot on your plate. I am really sorry. I am still working and for that I am very grateful. I am grateful because I like to work. I really really like my job ( I am a 5th grade teacher ). It is a tough job but it is extremely rewarding. I am grateful for everyday that I get to work. I doubt I will get to work for as long as I would like.
When I am unable to work any longer I will feel no shame. I am fighting the good fight and it sound like you are too. Living with an incurable and chronic disease can be a full time job in itself. Afford yourself that dignity. You are doing the best you can. If you need to stop working, then stop working and concentrate on your family and yourself.
I agree with Uppitycats. We have become a society that holds too much personal esteem in what we do for a living. What you do for a living is your job, it is not who you are and doesn't make you more or less valuable as a person. You are valuable because you are you. Think about all of your identities ( mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc). That is who you are.
Love and prayers,
I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience with the 800 number. I've always found it best to "go local", even though that means for me that I have to head into the "next town over", about 45 minutes away, to talk with someone (I can reach them by phone as well). They're much more personable and reachable.
In the meantime you could look on the social security web site, and even download the form you'll eventually have to fill out. It'll give you some idea of the kinds of information you'll need when you go to talk to the folks in person, and some other ideas and help.
Don't hesitate to ask about filing and all, when you get to that point. I've tried to help a lot of folks do this (that's one of the things I used to do when I was a "working girl" :) ) and some of the others here have experience with this too.
Good luck with your visit! Let us know how it goes.