Welcome to HW.com... I have walked in your shoes, tho many years ago. I remember how awful the big "D" was and planning your life around the bathroom. All the pain, all the meds, all the surgeries, all the everything that had to do with active disease. That's not an issue for me any longer, and won't be for you either once you have the surgery. As tbraz said, it is not an easy surgery but you will heal and once you have done so, hopefully you will be grateful for a second chance at life. It is a life altering change. You will have to get used to being able to eat again and do all those things that you haven't been able to do for sooooo long. Yes, you will also have to adjust to having an ostomy and changing your appliance, but it becomes easier with every change. Just remember, we are here for you --- ask any questions you may have. I have found a great deal of help here and I believe you will too. There are a lot of really compassionate people on this forum.
Keep your chin up. I will be thinking of you. And keep in touch.