O/T I've been invited on a date!!

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praying4healing
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Ok i know this might sound trivial but i dont know what to do. I've been invited to go on a date to a concert. I havent been to a concert since college! I'd really like to go, but its in philly and i live in jersey! That means theres like a two hour ride there, then a what? 3 hour concert? then a two hour ride home?! I'm so afraid about emptying and leaking that i dont know if i'm going to go. Id be so embarrassed.  Especially since i wouldnt b the one driving, id hate to ruin his time by leaking and needing him to bring me all the way home. I dont know what to do. Has anybody been out for that long of a period of time? I can't imagine what the bathrooms would look like at an arena! eww
25 y/o female- crohns disease since 14
Ileostomy pending-very worried
Tried asacol,pentasa,prednisone,remicade,6mp,azasan, no avail
Seatons placed
Worst year ever!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear....."
Where does mine come from?!
 
Temp Ileostomy performed 1/29/08
Still Adusting
 
Healingwell.com has been my Godsend...Thank you


peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:27 PM (GMT -6)   
My husband and I go to several NASCAR races -- very long all day events. We go to the NHRA races - leave very early in the morning and sometimes don't get home til midnight and the track here is 1 1/2 hrs away from home. I've gone to several concerts here in IN. Also 2 hr drive from our home. It just has to be something that you have to have the confidence to get out and try. Good Luck to you. What concert is it?
Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
 


flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey, that sounds like fun!! How long do you usually go without a leak? Once I got my system down, I stopped having leaks, but I did have some in the beginning. I hope you decide to go.
 
Just a thought, my stoma is usually active only after I eat, so maybe you can eat early in the day, so you don't have to eat much while you're at the concert.
No food = little output = less chance of leaks. smurf
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)


Stoma Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Eww indeed :S My advice is to go and enjoy yourself, just take a large handbag with loads of supplies in! Plus you can get a card from your stoma nurse or GP which explains about the stoma, if you hand that to someone in charge they would probably let you into the VIP toilets at least! As for the journey.. all I can recommend is asking for a rest stop halfway to empty and wearing loose clothing.. but if you go, have fun!!
Never Give Up, Never Surrender!
 
.. Stoma Girl ..
.. Ileostomy following Crohn's Disease, 2007 ..
.. Meds? Tried 'em all! ..
.. Currently on Paroxetine 20mg for depression ..
.. Time between diagnosis and operation - one year ..
.. But HAPPY! ..


praying4healing
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:35 PM (GMT -6)   
those are good ideas, and u guys are right. the thing is that i just got my ostomy a month ago. so i'm thinking "do i really have my system down?" i just got the catheter taken out last week and haven't yet had a leak,but i'm wondering if that means one is impending? Its an r&b concert peggy. Mary J Blige? don't know if uv heard of her but i love her.
Stoma girl, yeah loose clothing right? gotta find something cute and loose lol. i dont know, the concert is the 30th of march. I told him id think about it ( he knows about the bag, which is the only reason i'm even considering), it'd just b nice to feel normal again, but i wouldnt want to embarass myself or ruin his night.
25 y/o female- crohns disease since 14
Ileostomy pending-very worried
Tried asacol,pentasa,prednisone,remicade,6mp,azasan, no avail
Seatons placed
Worst year ever!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear....."
Where does mine come from?!
 
Temp Ileostomy performed 1/29/08
Still Adusting
 
Healingwell.com has been my Godsend...Thank you


praying4healing
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:38 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks ASh, im not sure what venue it is, i dont know philly that well. I know the feeling of empowerment and freedom b/c thats the same feeling i had when i went to the mall lol. When i told him about going to the mall and feeling normal, he was like "then this should put you over the top and make u feel like super girl!" lol he's a really cool friend.
25 y/o female- crohns disease since 14
Ileostomy pending-very worried
Tried asacol,pentasa,prednisone,remicade,6mp,azasan, no avail
Seatons placed
Worst year ever!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear....."
Where does mine come from?!
 
Temp Ileostomy performed 1/29/08
Still Adusting
 
Healingwell.com has been my Godsend...Thank you


Stoma Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:43 PM (GMT -6)   
:) he sounds great! Try empire line tops and leggings - loose and the top is cut to flatter your shape even with a stoma. x x x
Never Give Up, Never Surrender!
 
.. Stoma Girl ..
.. Ileostomy following Crohn's Disease, 2007 ..
.. Meds? Tried 'em all! ..
.. Currently on Paroxetine 20mg for depression ..
.. Time between diagnosis and operation - one year ..
.. But HAPPY! ..


peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:46 PM (GMT -6)   

Praying,

I like Mary J. Blige - she was on Oprah a few months ago too.  She has accomplished a lot in her life.

You should plan a couple of day trips before the concert (or your decision to go) to "practice" doing day trips in public places for the day. 


Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
 


flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:48 PM (GMT -6)   
awwww.... I like this guy! Since he already knows about the bag, you could even bring an extra pair of jeans, just in case.
 
Mary J. Blige rocks!!
 
You have over a month until the concert, and you will definitely have your system down by then, so you have to go!!!! yeah

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 2/25/2008 12:09 AM (GMT -6)   
you can take extra clothes, just like ce-ce said, and most venues have medical areas, where they treat people for minor things, like a bad fall or something. My husband is a nurse, and when he works special events team, he gets to go to all kinds of things, that is why i know that!
if you took a dr note, like was suggested earlier, and showed it at the medical office, they would most likely let you use that room, and then, not only would it be private, you would be with nurses or emt's and they would be understanding. Also, don't worry about the smell, i have been in bathrooms during concerts, lol.
i go all kinds of places and am gone sometimes all day, and just empty it if i have to. dont go without eating complelty though, or you will get gas! what i like to do, is change the day before i go to work, that way if i am going to get a leak, i will already know. But you shuold be alot more comfy with everything by then. and since he does already know, you won;t have to worry about that!
i say, GO AND HAVE FUN!

Shaz032
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 2/25/2008 3:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Have you ever gone more than 7 hours (your estimated time away) without a leak? If so, then I have a feeling you're worrying over nothing :) You've emptied into loos before I'll bet too :) Our big advantage is that we don't have to sit on the seats if we don't want to - practice emptying while standing at home. If you tend to rinse, try not rinsing - just wipe the tail end of your bag with loo paper and fasten it again - that should be fine for while you're out.

Do try and eat a little though - no food = empty tummy = more gas!

Good luck and enjoy that concert!
I have had an ileostomy for 32 years now due to UC.
 
Moderator of the Ostomy Forum
_______________________________________________
 
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!


flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 2/25/2008 6:02 AM (GMT -6)   
I didn't know that an empty tummy causes gas. I guess it's because I've never actually tried it!! he he he tongue

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 2/25/2008 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   
yeah i notice that if i start to get hungry, and dont' eat i start to get rumbles in my tummy, so i try to not get hungry, which is starting to show, lol

sfgiantsjo
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 420
   Posted 2/25/2008 10:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Shaz's advice about standing up is golden! An ostomy is an advantage in that situation - no need to sit! It's quite easy to empty standing up - just remember the trick of throwing in some TP before you empty, then aim for it. That will help any splash back. Then, just practice the ol' squat for the rest of your business - Ta DAAAA! No touching a nasty toilet seat.
A concert was my first real "outing". I even posted about it here. I was nervous, too. But it worked out great, and gave me lots of confidence. It was also my first time wearing "real" clothes, and not sweats. That also worked out just fine. I wore a pair of my looser jeans, and a flowy top.
I say go for it. You're doing spectacularly already, so I know you can do this!!!! :)
UC diagnosed: December, 1999
Asacol: 1600 MG daily
Immuran: 150 MG daily
Prednisone: 4 MG daily (Woo-Hooo! Getting lower and lower!)
Remicade: Infusion every 7 weeks
Probiotics 4 billion CFU Daily
Glutamine 500 mg 2x Daily
 
OFF all meds!! Liver failure, and emergency surgery as soon as liver levels return to normal. ACK!
 
Surgery August 24, 2007. Home now!


cactoo
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/25/2008 1:07 PM (GMT -6)   
A month after my ileostomy we drove from Cleveland to Detroit for the Auto Show and gambling. I have never had a leak, but was well prepared in case. I brought a backpack with an extra set of clothes and underwear. I wore jeans (first time after a month of sweats). I had lost some weight so the waist was nice and loose and I just wore a empire waist top so it was comfy, but still looked good. My nurse had told me to buy underwear that was two sizes bigger than normal and so I wore two pair for extra protection and it held the bag closer so it looked fine under my jeans. Emptying in the public restrooms, which were crowded, was a little scary. Before I left home, I put a capful of 3% peroxide in my bag and there was no smell whatsoever! I had a little plastic bottle that I bought in the sample section at Wal-Mart, so I put some extra peroxide in to use for every bathroom visit. Everything went well and I had such a good time. I was tired, but it felt so good to get out and get on with life again. You will feel the same way! go for it! There are lots of little tips that people on this site can give you that will help you make the trip a great experience.

praying4healing
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 2/25/2008 1:50 PM (GMT -6)   
u guys are great! i didnt expect to get as many replies as i did, i thought it would b considered a dumb question. I think i will practice standing. I'm already trying to untrain myself from having to pee whenever i empty lol. now it seems like even if ididnt have to pee, if i empty i have to go out of no where lol.

since he knows about the bag mayb i will just tell him why im bringing a change of clothes. Hopefully i wont need them and he won't think i'm trying to give him some kind of signal by bringing them lol.

u guys are really giving me confidence right now. im thinkin i may go and do this. i'm getting excited! r u allowed to bring big purses in arenas? how extensive is the search? lol
25 y/o female- crohns disease since 14
Ileostomy pending-very worried
Tried asacol,pentasa,prednisone,remicade,6mp,azasan, no avail
Seatons placed
Worst year ever!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear....."
Where does mine come from?!
 
Temp Ileostomy performed 1/29/08
Still Adusting
 
Healingwell.com has been my Godsend...Thank you


Glad Bag
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 699
   Posted 2/28/2008 2:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I am a guy and it would not bother me at all if you had a problem with your stoma while we were out on a date. of course, I have one, so yeah, I am biased, but I really believe I would have felt that way before the operation.

I would stop waiting and tell him yes, before he gives the ticket to someone else!

congrats on finding a guy you could tell about it, and on the date.
"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together!" - The Beatles

doesn't that just sound cool when you sing it?


Indabag
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 2/28/2008 2:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I too am a guy and it wouldn't bother me either. The only thing I would add is to try and eat light before going to the concert so output would not be that heavy.

Something weird just happened. I just got back to my office from an appointment and I drove past the projects in Yonkers NY where Mary J. Blige grew up! To think of where she came from and where she is today is really amazing! It's truly life affirming.

Richard
Indabag
 
Ileostomy since August 2005.
As result of surgery (modified whipple) for necrotising pancreatitis. Removal of gallbladder, 2/3 of pancreas, resections of large and small intestines. Massive infection. 8 months in ICU at Westchester County M.C. (I think that's a record). Second surgery for resection due to fistulas in January 2007. Been slowly recovering since then. Possible reconnection candidate.


Indabag
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 2/28/2008 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I forgot to say, Have a great time!

Richard
Indabag
 
Ileostomy since August 2005.
As result of surgery (modified whipple) for necrotising pancreatitis. Removal of gallbladder, 2/3 of pancreas, resections of large and small intestines. Massive infection. 8 months in ICU at Westchester County M.C. (I think that's a record). Second surgery for resection due to fistulas in January 2007. Been slowly recovering since then. Possible reconnection candidate.


praying4healing
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 2/28/2008 3:26 PM (GMT -6)   
lol thanks you guys! i talk to him everyday and he hasnt yet mentioned it. mayb i'll mention it 2nite...its great to have a guys opinion, even if he is in the same situation i am! lol

o by the way i just got 10 inch opaque bags, and they make me feel a little more secure, dont know if i'll go back to the 12 inch clear ones when i go tho...mayb i wont have to empty as often?
25 y/o female- crohns disease since 14
Ileostomy pending-very worried
Tried asacol,pentasa,prednisone,remicade,6mp,azasan, no avail
Seatons placed
Worst year ever!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear....."
Where does mine come from?!
 
Temp Ileostomy performed 1/29/08
Still Adusting
 
Healingwell.com has been my Godsend...Thank you


Arundinaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 160
   Posted 2/28/2008 8:05 PM (GMT -6)   
I just went 13 days without a leak. Is that sdome sort of record. I did have to empty and change bags, but the appliance never leaked
Ralph
When there are no more choices, tha decision is easy!


praying4healing
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 2/28/2008 8:50 PM (GMT -6)   
thats cool ralph, i've only had one leak since leaving the hospital feb 2nd! i'm hoping not to jinx myself. the leak wasnt that bad, it was actually from the top b/c my wafer started to come off. But then again, i havent been doing much activity's since iv been home lol
25 y/o female- crohns disease since 14
Ileostomy pending-very worried
Tried asacol,pentasa,prednisone,remicade,6mp,azasan, no avail
Seatons placed
Worst year ever!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear....."
Where does mine come from?!
 
Temp Ileostomy performed 1/29/08
Still Adusting
 
Healingwell.com has been my Godsend...Thank you


flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 2/29/2008 6:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Praying, I'm glad you're planning to go! :-)
 
Ralph, Congrats on getting 13 days!! yeah

Jazzism
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 3/2/2008 12:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I've had too many seals blow on me, even driving, but i had a temp illeostomy so I just became a recluse for a few months. I personally would decline the outing, unless it was closer to home and I haven't the faith in the bag seal at all. Not worth the embarrassment, annoyance and hassle. But that's just me.

flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 3/2/2008 2:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I have to say that the Coloplast Assura Extended Wear wafer is like the Energizer Bunny... it keeps going and going and going... I change it once a week and never have leaks. It's worth trying different products to find the right one for you.
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)

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