I'm sorry you're having such troubles.
My stoma nurse taught me to hold my hands over a fresh wafer for a few minutes after applying it, so the heat from my hands and the heat from my body make a tight seal. It has always helped me, and I hope it helps you, too. Have a great time on your date tonight!
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)