My day went downhill fast!

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summerstorm
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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/1/2008 8:53 PM (GMT -6)   
So this story is a little Off topic, but still pretty funny.
I have a cat named raccoon who lives outside.
Night before last i had to go pick my son up at my grandmas, and i had the car window down.  I am driving along, and two deer jump out, so i slam on the brakes.  Well about the time i do that, something comes flying and screeching at me from the back seat, i throw my hand up covering the window, it's my cat!  So, i take the other hand and sling her into the back seat, and start rolling the window up(they are electric) but before i can even get it up, she is back trying to jump out the window again, so i sling her into the back seat again.  Well i get the window up and on the road, all of a sudden she comes flying across my lap, claws right there near my bag, i throw her into the passenger seat, i am trying to drive also, and keep having to stop.  My grandma only lives about two miles, but i had to stop every few seconds caues i couldn't drive with her jumping at the window.  I finally get to my grandmas, and i think, what am i gonna do, when i go to put my son in the car she is gonna jump out, so i grab a towel wrap her up and throw her in the trunk!  (i know it's awful, but i didnt' have much choice) so i go in and get my son, we rush out there get back in the car, now she is in the trunk meowing and screeching as loud as she can, my son is doing the same, he says he is doing it to make sure she keeps doing it.  They are driving me nuts, finally i just turn around and yell, EVERYONE HUSH!  well they both hush and i think oh thank god, about 10 seconds go by and they start up again!  at this point i am like, ok either i am gonna have to get home soon, or i am getting out of the car!
Well i get home, open the trunk and the cat comes flying out at me, like she has been launched from a catupult (get it, ha ha) anyway, i get my son, and we head into the house, during this i step into some type of mystery substance which flies all over me!  So i go in to take a shower, get all clean get out and am drying my bag, i hear my husband banging on the door, are you done, are you done? i am like no, i will be soon, he says, michael just threw up everywhere (my son gags easily and throws up randomly) and i am like crap, so i dress, bag still wet, go out get my son and clean him up, go in the kitchen and find throw up stretched across the whole room!  And all that happened in the space of about an hour!  how fun!

peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 10/1/2008 9:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, Summer, I guess the only thing I can say to that story is that I am sure glad it was you rather than me!!!!! I would have had a heart attack the first time that cat came flying out of the backseat.
Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
 


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/1/2008 10:36 PM (GMT -6)   
i almost did, lol. And that is not the first time she has done that either, she is really bad to get in the cars and you don't know until you are on the road!

flchurchlady
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 10/2/2008 1:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh my goodness, I'm trying not to laugh, but your stories are so funny!! Flying cats, barfing children, deer jumping out in front of your car... you just can't make this stuff up!! tongue  LOL

Equestrian Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3115
   Posted 10/2/2008 5:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm crying it is SO funny...my husband thinks I am nuts~~

justjenjen
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Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 10/2/2008 6:49 AM (GMT -6)   
If you don't find it funny today, you will eventually...Things can only get better.

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/2/2008 8:26 AM (GMT -6)   
i found it funny when i started texting it to a friend that night,
the cat part i found funny as soon as i started telling it to my husband cuae i had my hands flying all around

peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 10/2/2008 5:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I too just couldn't resist reading your story to my DH last night! He was just shaking his head, not believing what he was hearing. My intro to the story was, "remember the girl who always ends up wearing all the stomahesive paste....?" "OH, her, ok go ahead and read it" was his response! In our house, you are known by your paste stories Summer. Sorry. They are hilarious tho.

Any more stories for us today?
Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
 


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/2/2008 10:12 PM (GMT -6)   
ha ha peggy i am famous at your house!
i do have a story from today, it isn't ostomy related but i will share it, you guys will probably get a kick out of it.
I had to go to a funeral today (not the funny part, that part was sad) but of course i had to dress nicely, had on a skirt, hose a nice shirt, and for some reason when i go to a funeral i think i have to curl my hair, so i had my hair curled.
After the funeral i was going to my friend andy's house to make jello shooters (if you dont' know, it's jello with vodka) i stopped and got a cherry milkshake on the way, remember that it's important for later.
So i get to his house, and i go to bring all my stuff in, i have alot of stuff.
Go in and get the things out ready to make them. Ok, the way you make these is you make jello but instead of using the cold water, you use vodka, so what you do is boil your water, mix the powder in then pour the vodka in. now we tried this last week and they were horrible.
Ok so i have looked online and found a new way to do them. This way, you take oranges or limes or whatever, and you scoop out the pulp and make the shots in there. (it's a long story)
So, here i am, in my fancy clothes, my hair is flying all over, so i am like, get me a hat, ok so now i am here in my fancy clothes with this old ratty ball cap old, that he had been wearing i think non stop for ten years, lol.
Ok, so i have the oranges trying to scoop the pulp out, however this is not going well, there is pulp flying everywhere, it's all over the floor all over me, all over him. but we keep trying. So we accidentally cut a hole in the bottom of one of the oranges, so we decide to tape the hole over and see if the jello will stay in anyway, then we decide also that we should stuff foil under it too. So we put it in a muffin tin, taped on the bottom, foil all around it, and pour the jello in, we think all is going well, until we look again and the stuff is pouring out over the sides.
Ok, so now it is time for the limes, and this is where it gets good. It's not easy to get the pulp out of a lime, especially when all you have is a steak knife and a spoon. So, i am trying and i can't get it, so i get the bright idea to try to cut the lime a little then turn it inside out, scrape the pulp out and turn it back again you can't do that, just so you know, when i try to do it, the pulp goes flying across the kitchen, like it has been shot out of a gun! it's on the opposite wall of the kitchen, now i am covered in orange and lime, so, i get another lime and think maybe i can suck the pulp out, actually this is his idea, not thinking of how sour limes are, i try it, wow that was BAD, and it didnt' work either. So, finally after about 4 limes and lots of mess, he has found a way to do it, and it's actually workign pretty well, but it'staking forever, and he has a cut on his finger so like ever two seconds he is stopping and licking his fingers and whining (this is some sanitary stuff going on here, lol) but finally we have the limes ready to go. i go to get my milkshake and not really sure how this happens, but i end up spilling it, so now there is milkshake, lime and orange all over me, and all over everything! Now Andy gets this idea to put the parts of the lime we have taken out and cover them in sugar and then we will just eat them, which btw is pretty good. however when we go to do this, and pick the lime up out of the sugar the sugar falls off, again all over me. and all over the floor. So i am just yummy now, lol. We have probably eaten the insides of about 5 limes now. which puts so much acid in your stomach that it actually begins to eat itself. 
We are done so i go to clean up, ok here i am in this dress clothes, the skirt isn't short short, but it's not long either, i am down on the floor mopping the stuff up, trying to keep my skirt from showing stuff, so i move a tiny bit, mop a spot then pull my skirt down, well my hose are fallign down because of this,, so now i am taking one step, standing up, pulling my hose up and my skirt down, still wearing the hat and high heels. there is orange and lime pulp on the door, its in the laundry room, which has been closed up the majority of the time, it's on the ceiling, it's everywhere! he is laughing at me trying to clean all this up, well now here comes this random dog into his garage,, which is next to the kitchen and the door is open, so then, here comes the dog into the kitchen, ran in on it's on, i am on the floor trying to mop, keep my hose up and my skirt down, covered in all this stuff, wearing a ball cap, and the dog comes runnign up to me, licking up orange and lime. Dogs make funny faces when the lick lime, lol.
So, finally all this is over it has taken us over two hours to do this. Now i go home, i am going out with some friends and don't have time to change clothes, so i just clean the stuff off me as good as possible. Andy was not plannign on going with us. But he shows up about half way through dinner, and sits across from me. Well i still have this stuff on me in places, he starts messing with the straw in his tea, and all of a sudden tea comes flying across the table at me, so lets add tea to the mess, then he decides to pour salt on the table, which somehow ends up in my lap.
Needless to say, as soon as i get home i get in the shower.

Post Edited (summerstorm) : 10/2/2008 10:17:05 PM (GMT-6)


peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 10/3/2008 10:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Summer - you are walking fruits!!! Your stories just can't be matched!
Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
 

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