Once a new doctor asked me how long it was since I'd had a colonoscopy. I replied 'oh, about 25 years'. He said 'well I think it's about time we scheduled one for you, don't you?' I said 'sure, if you can find it, but there ain't nothing going in or out of my backside'. He looked startled for a minute until I explained why.
I have had an ileostomy for 32 years now due to UC.
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I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!