Funny ostomy stories

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Angela101
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 10/11/2008 2:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I was just reading summerstorm's story and realized we probably all have stories like that - and my friends just dont get it, but I am sure you all understand..
  Care to share?

 I remember one time when I was new to the whole ostomy thing I was changing my appliance after a shower and forgot to put the clip on my bag before attaching it to the flange.  I was cleaning things up (still naked) with the pouch open and leaking all over the place. What a mess!
  I just shook my head and laughed, what else can you do in a situation like that?
I have not made that mistake again!
Dx/ed October 2003,
April 2004 - Surgery - 2ft of small bowel removed
Feb 2007 - Surgery again and a temporary ileostomy
Present - on Remicade waiting for surgery to reverse the ileostomy - Health Care System in Canada sucks - wait list is 6 12+ months.
 
 
 


slim18996
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 10/11/2008 3:15 PM (GMT -6)   

My very first appliance change was similar to your story.  I use the lock-n-roll two-piece and neglected to lock-n-roll prior to snapping my pouch on.  I went about picking up my supplies since I thought I was done and felt the nasty outcome of this oversight right on top of my right foot. shakehead   Not a good feeling at the time but funny now.

I have two other situations that I now laugh at.  The first was my lesson with gas.  A few days after that bag change I was sitting in the living room knapping in my recliner.  Apparently I had eaten something that was a serious gas producer and as ileostomates know filters are for the most part are ineffective past day two (the main reason I use a two piece, ease of expelling built up gas).  Well when I woke up and decided to get out of the chair (this chair does not return to the upright position gracefully) I heard a load "pop".  It took a second to identify the source but when I realized it was the pouch I was mortified. shocked   Since I was completely dressed, undershirt (A shirt) and an outer shirt I ran to the bathroom holding my stomach.  Once in there I saw the extent of the damage (looked like a poop bomb exploded on my belly) I was glad to see that it didn't cause the flange to dislodge just the pouch separated from the flange (two piece) and a wipe down, reconnect the pouch and change of clothes rectified the situation.  Since I had UC, prior to the ostomy I had messed my pants many times but that was the first time I ever pooped my shirt, LOL.  The phrase "never trust a fart" that UCers hold near and dear still holds true even after the surgery, LOL.

My second story just recently happened.  I got the flu last week, I knew it was coming, the rest of the family had it prior.  With me I have always gotten more of the bowel problems with the flu and seldom have the stomach problems.  This time was no exception.  Had I still had my plumbing I guess I probably would have been woke up with an incredible urgency to go.  Without my plumbing this allowed me to sleep peacefully right through the start.  At around 6 a.m. I felt a cold wet feeling on my belly.  I assumed it was one of the two lap dogs we have burrowing under the covers and sticking their nose on my belly.  I was just getting ready to remove this little inconvenience when I felt a now warm wet feeling.  Light on, covers back revealed my pouch, completely full, laying next  me in bed. shocked   Nothing had spilled out but it was full.  I got up rather quickly (that caused a spill or two) grabbing the pouch and heading for the restroom which the quick movement obviously spurred my system into overdrive.  Leo was spouting off at his best making me look like one of those statue fountains you see in parks and such.  I made to the restroom and was perplexed trying to figure out how to open the tail of the pouch to empty it without it being attached (one hand holding it and only having one hand to undue to lock-n-roll) all the while Leo is redecorating the wall behind the toilet.  Finally common sense took hold idea and yes I just dumped it out through to top hole, blush , rinsed it real quick and put it back on stopping the early morning redecoration.  This caused me and my wife alot of clean up but after the damage was done all we could do was laugh.  I found the pouch was convenient for having the flu (no urgency issues) but staying awake was the key.  That night because of all of this I set my alarm for every hour so I could wake up to make sure I wasn't still filling my pouch at the alarming rate it did during the day.

John

 


Total Colectomy with End Ileostomy May 27th, 2008


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/11/2008 3:49 PM (GMT -6)   
omg i love it! standing there trying to figure out how to empty it, i so would have done that!

Why is it that my stories always inspire threads like this? lol

i actually have one from yesterday. I was getting ready to leave my house and i was in a big hurry. i went to the bathroom before i left and most of the time before i actually go somewhere i rinse the pouch with water with mouthwash in it. well i usually pour some water in, then close the tail up and swish it around and then empty it back in the toilet, well i guess i didnt' get the tail closed good, cause when i went to empty it back in the toilet it went everywhere! and you know how things happen like that, and you know they are happening, but you just don't really grasp it? it was that and i just sat there letting it keep coming out. there wasn't really much in there, i had already emptied it, but it was still messy. So, i am already late, now i have to change clothes and clean the floor and the toilet.
Morale of the story is you should always take the extra minute to do things the right way and to pay attention to what you are doing.

flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 10/11/2008 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   

Summer, I love your "paste in the hair" stories, and sfgiantsjo's story about the piece of orange that got stuck in her stoma was priceless!! tongue

I guess my funniest story was when I was a newbie and completely missed the toilet while in a Subway bathroom. The bottom of my jeans got all wet, so I just rolled them up and still got in line to order a sub. Hey... I was hungry! smilewinkgrin


Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/11/2008 9:55 PM (GMT -6)   
oh weren't you the one who missed the toilet trying to watch extreme makeover home edition also? And um ewww about the subway.

peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 10/12/2008 10:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Summer - I believe you are correct about C missing the toilet whilst trying to watch tv!!
Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
 


flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 10/13/2008 7:09 PM (GMT -6)   
yup, that was me!! I can see the tele from my bathroom and was paying more attention to it than watching what I was doing. oops!  blush


Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/13/2008 9:07 PM (GMT -6)   
here's a story from yesterday, not exactly ostomy related, but toilet related.
So i go to pee, and as i sitdowni hear this loud plop, and i think that my bag has just randomly fallen off, i look down and it's still there, and i am like what happened, so i look in the toilet and there is my freaking cell phone!!!!!!
So i letout a string of not so nice words, jump up grab it out, ick, clean it off as fast as i can and try to dry it, but to no avail, it was a goner. so there i am, rushing off to hickory to get a new phone!

peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 10/13/2008 9:36 PM (GMT -6)   
I heard that if you pull the battery out right away, sometimes they can be saved.... just an fyi.
Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
 


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/13/2008 9:56 PM (GMT -6)   
yeah i tried that, there was no saving it!
it worked for a few minutes, but then when i would put the battery in it would make this horrible horrible screeching noise that almost made your ears bleed.
I had thought i could dry it out, but that didn't work

flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 10/14/2008 2:32 AM (GMT -6)   
oh, summer, that's a bummer! Unfortunately, you're not the only person who's ever done that. If you Google "dropped cell phone in toilet" there are 1,760,000 results!! My dad once dropped his cell phone in a port-a-potty... talk about eewww!! shocked
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