Lots of us had to resort to short term medication for the surgery/recovery. I had the same fears you did and did suffer the typical recovery challenges but I got through it. Remember that improvement will come in 6 week increments. Don't measure recovery in terms of days. It will get better, significantly better. Find things to do to get your mind off your butt. For me it was engaging back in exercise and travel; things I couldn't do with UC.