I have been keeping a food diary, and am heartened to know it's a good tool. I have figured out the docs & dietician are not going to be the heroes of the problems, since too many variables for them.
I did get a list of soluble fiber foods (oatmeal, banana, applesauce, sweet potatoes, potatoes, , sour dough bread, rice, pasta, grits) and those, eaten first in small amount, seem to provide good "bind" to whatever else I eat, if I can eat anything else. Hard to be so out of control, literally!
Thank you for the response, and comfort of not being alone!