Welcome to the site. Definately keep working on your wife to log on and just read some of our discussions. She will probably find that many of the things that she thinks are hard to talk about get talked about all the time on here.
Total Colectomy with End Ileostomy May 27th, 2008
Welcome and thank you for opening up to us about your situation. If the problem is that she doesn't feel sexy with her new body, maybe some pretty lingerie would help. Make sure you tell her often how beautiful you think she she is, especially when you see her naked. That really helped me accept my new body.
If you have children, do you two ever go out alone? A romantic night out with dinner and movie might help her get in the mood. And don't forget to cuddle with her in bed. Since we can be self-conscious about our stomach areas, spooning is a very good thing. So is KY Warming Jelly.
If she's depressed, maybe she can talk to her gynecologist about it. If it's not depression, but a low sex drive, then there's medication for that, too.
Hope this helps!
You can vent to us anytime. Did she go through radiation or chemotherapy? I wonder if that might have messed up her system. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a common side effect. Maybe someone on here would know. I would encourage her to make an appointment to talk with her doctor about it, because there are solutions, but they can't help her if they don't know about it.