Kaycie--this site in itself is a great resource...go back through the older posts and you can find an answer to any question you may have (and some you didn't know you had). I also suggest the UOAA.org site...you can get links to manufacturers and more! Check out the websites from the manufacturers for videos/pictures/diagrams some are better than others but it might be just what you are looking for!
I had similar problems to yours and just went through a proctocolectomy about a year ago and haven't looked back! I used to have alot of pain (I didn't realize it was that bad) and finally live a pain free life...It is important to make your own decision about surgery and that you are comfortable with it...which I think you are on the right road to! Let us know if you have specific questions:)