Total Colectomy with End Ileostomy May 27th, 2008
Hi Bob, from everything that you have written about your wife over the past few years, I know she is the one to listen to. Absolutely DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW! If at all possible, find someone else to come stay with you when your wife goes back to work. After Bratcat healed, she would sleep on her side, her stomach, any way that was comfortable. She doesn't sleep with anyone (better not at 17 ) except for the cats! Never had problems with them. We never put a waterproof pad on the mattress (never did when the kids were little either...guess we like to live life on the edge-lol). We do have mattress pads on though. She did have one leak. All we did was change her sheets and the mattress pad. The mattress never got dirty.
When most people talk about leaks, it generally does not mean a major blowout of the bag (although that could happen I guess). The leaks most ostomates talk about are when there is a line of feces slowly leaking from the stoma out towards the edge of the appliance. In Bratcat's case, there may have been a few spots of liquid that ended up on her clothes. Which I threw in with the rest of the laundry!
Summerstorm is right. Anyone with kids knows that poop happens, poop gets on other people at times, and people do not get sick!
By the way, when my kids were little I learned that many times baby wipes would clean any stains off of our clothes. Things like a little spit up or a little poop. If you catch it early it worked great. You can try that if necessary.
For your own sanity and mental health to heal, you really don't need your MIL around you.
Maybe you can ask your surgeon for the name of a past patient to talk to. Explain the issues to the surgeon and maybe he can recommend someone who went through a similar thing as you...your age, married, etc. We spoke to a girl who had the surgery around the same age as Bratcat. She was now 3 years older and was able to tell us what it was like for her to be 17 at surgery and how the following 3 years had gone. It was a big relief to talk to someone who could relate.
Also, I think you said your surgery is April 16. Everything will go great because it is Bratcat's 18th birthday! Cyber hugs to you and your wife!!
Bob, your MIL needs to stay far away from you, because she's mean and thinks she knows what she's talking about, but she doesn't! She and her friend are both crazy, and you shouldn't take any advice from them. All she's doing is upsetting you, and you do not need that.
I'm so glad your wife is protective of you and sees that her mom is way out of line. Please make sure your MIL stays away from you after surgery, because you are going to need to rest and do not need her keeping you awake with her negativity and nonsense.
This has been my experience:
I have never had a leak in bed or anywhere else.
I have no odor whatsoever.
I sleep on my stomach, side, or back with my husband in our bed with regular cotton sheets on it.
I wear regular clothes and wash our clothes together.
I hope all of our posts have helped you see that what she said was wrong, and you should not worry about those things.