Bob, I'm so glad, for the most part, you are doing well! First of all, make sure your MIL goes home ASAP! That alone will be a great healing process for you. If your wife needs help around the house, ask a neighbor, a neighbor's teenager, a local church, or hire someone. If it's to help her help you, look into a visiting nurse if it's covered. It doesn't sound like your MIL is there to help you though.
As for your rectum healing, I have no information on that as Bratcat did not have that type of surgery. I do commisserate with your wife crying along with your pain. I felt the same way when Bratcat had to learn to peel off her ostomy appliance.
Just keep remembering that it has only been 2 weeks since your MAJOR surgery. You are doing great. And the doctor is in close contact with you. That's wonderful.
As for the pets, I'm a firm believer in having them around as soon as you, your wife, and your doctor feel it is OK. I know our cats were a big emotional support for Bratcat. And they seemed to know not to jump on her bed in the beginning or walk on her when she was laying down. They just snuggled near her.
As soon as your MIL leaves, hopefully soon, have your wife join you for some special time alone. Even if it's dinner with you in bed (and dinner is something simple). Knowing you and your wife they way you have described your relationship over the years, it's not the fluff and material items, it's just being able to be with the one you love the most.
Be well. Be happy. Gentle cyber hugs to you!
Bob! Glad to hear you are home recovering!!! Now, just tell the MIL to go home and your mind can recover, too!!!
I didn't experience the pain that you are having with the wound vac...people did tell me it's not pleasant but I didn't believe it...you could go to the wet to dry packing if the pain is that bad, just ask your doc. It doesn't heal as quickly, but it does heal and the pain is minimal.
I just wanted to give you a big (((HUG))) You are through the worst of it and are healing now, so every day is going to be a little bit better than the day before. Please talk to your doctor about the pain, so you can take something that will give you relief.
Your MIL needs to go stay somewhere else, because you do not need any unneccessary stress right now.
I've always had my pets around me after surgery. In fact, I had emergency surgery 11 days ago for a small bowel perforation, and my cat in on the bed with me right now and my dog is on the floor next to me. They bring me a lot of comfort and love. I have a nurse who comes to my house to give me IV antibiotics. She is very fussy about germs and hasn't said anything about me staying away from the animals.
I hope you start to feel better soon!
So sorry to hear about your recovery being so painful. I didn't have my rectum removed yet, so I didn't know it would be so painful. BUT I did have drains in my abd. and the home health nurse had to change my old ostomy site packs and that was unpleasant. But it does and WILL get better! Hang in there.
Wishing you a better recovery,