Bob, hang in there...Marsky is right, time is truly the gauge for this type of surgery...I, too, had a lot of pain/discomfort with my proctocolectomy. I found that a heating pad placed on my lower back helped a lot with that pain. I would use the lowest setting and sit more on the side of my butt so I took some pressure off the rectal area.
Don't worry about going to the wet to dry method...it WILL heal that way...just might take a little longer (and it is SO MUCH easier to get around without that contraption). I know pain meds don't work well for you, but take what you can to get you through this discomfort. I will say that you will wake up one day and the pain will have diminished!!! for me it was at about week 5, but everyone is a little different, but it DOES happen:)
I am so glad to hear you have an appetite! You'll discover how good food tastes when you aren't feeling the effects of UC with it!! Hang in there!