Due to my very poor health and surgery, I've been away from teaching since mid January. I had expected to be back to school in early April but surgeon said not a good idea and it was truly unrealistic for me to go back. Even today, I couldn't make the stairs to my office. My students have a big final presentation/performance tomorrow--there are 90 students.
Even though my sub agrees that to be exposed to that many students and parents in a close space is like flirting with germs and could be very overwhelming emotionally, I am feeling awfully guilty for not going. I'm really struggling with this. If it were a big theater where I could sneak in an out and sit in the back, I'd go. But, again, it's a small space where you can see everyone.
I'm afraid of two things:
1--I will definitely be swarmed with hugs and questions from students and parents I've known for several years--people who have been very good to me and are genuinely concerned.
2--I know this will be an emotional challenge and in this small space, I don't want to have folks see me cry or get choked up as I'm bound to do.
24+ years with Crohn's/colitis; fistulizing crohn's; ileostomy and proctocolectomy; propranolol and xanax; been on a ton of crohn's meds; praying to get through each day.