Ever get Crohn's depression?

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Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 6/19/2009 12:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone,

I have a week until I go to talk to a different surgeon about a total large colon removeal with bag. I tried to fight it, I had a great 6 months of feeling pretty good. I felt very grateful and happy. I was on 37.5mg of Effexor but went off because I figured I didn't need it any more.

Then it all starts going bad again. Pain, accidents, fatigue,joints, you the it all. Just when I thought I could cope with some problems and the worst ones were over for a while. Now my mental state is really mental. I miss appointments, forget commitments, hate life, ect. I don't believe in ending it all but man, I keep thinking being dead would sure be easier than putting up with this crap (pun intended) all the time.

I don't know if there is a difference between depression and anxiety but I feel them both at different times. I think it is about getting the surgery and how my life will change. My one "friend" said I'm getting older (52) and that is a change that is happening very vividly also. Mostly though I think it's this disease.

OK I am rambling a bit but my head is so unstable. I know I have to do this surgery now but still don't want to. I have given myself time to adjust and have put it off 4 months. They would have already had it done if they all (GI & surgeon) had their way. I give up, they get their way!!! Now that I have decided I hope they will let me do it fairly fast. August?

You have all been so positive and strong with your trials and challenges which are way harder than mine. I beat myself up for being a major wimp baby about this all the time. I know I should be tougher.

I guess I still need the effexor but I don't want to take it if I can help it. Maybe I should be in the depression forum but that group was really depressing to read through. Anyone have experiences with this med?

How do you guys cope? How much has this disease changed your life? I won't be able to believe anybody who says not at all. It seems like the 24 hours of what I used to do before are changed 20 hours worth. If that makes sense. Even the sleep stuff is different for me. What about you?

Any thought are greatly appreciated.

sammies
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 493
   Posted 6/19/2009 10:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Your thoughts are normal and the fact that you recognize them is good. In my opinion, you should--very soon-- talk to your doc about your thoughts and feelings. Going back on the antianxiety or depression med might be a very good thing. You are under an inordinate amount of stress AND the crohn's is stealing nutrients from you body, thus effecting your strength and endurance which is a definite drain on your emotions. Since a month before my surgery, I have been taking xanax for anxiety. I was so malnourished, so anxious, so down---I just wasn't myself and how could I have been with so much to deal with. A little xanax makes a world of difference for me. My feeling is that if I can have a bit of help to deal with this and then to make better decisions for my well-being, I should take advantage of it. Counseling--either one time or steady--is also a good option. Please know that you are not alone and that there is help out there for you. You shouldn't go through all this alone. Sending good vibes your way.
24+ years with Crohn's/colitis; fistulizing crohn's; ileostomy and proctocolectomy; propranolol and xanax; been on a ton of crohn's meds; praying to get through each day.


Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 6/19/2009 11:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Sammies for the reply. I read this site every day and try to listen and learn. I like to be here. It is nice world. No one around me understands what is happening to me. I can't explain well and repeating my self just feels sooo useless. I get told it's all in my head way too often to want to voice my opinions anymore around here.

I did go talk to the therapist in my Family Dr.'s office. He seems nice and he wanted to see next week too. Ok he had some cognitive behaviors to do and gave me a paper to bring home and I can hardly remember what I am supposed to do. It's so embarrassing to be such a dough head. It's awful to feel so incompetent, when I've always been smart and capable.

All those things you wrote are a comfort and I need to have them sink into my brain. (What ever is left of it!) Maybe I'll ask about the Zanax. I have heard that drug mentioned before.

Question, I know it takes time to get a new life organized and set in motion. Are you still on the medicine or have you quit it? Curious. Thanks again.

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 6/19/2009 11:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I always thought the depression board would be a bad place for depressed people to go. I mean you are already sad

but anyway it totally normal to feel deprssed and upset and mad and all kinds of things about the fact that a stupid disease is taking yoru life away!

Having UC changed my life alot, i missed out on 8 years of my life, and the first 2 years of my sons life i was a useless mommy. I spent half the time in the bathroom and the other half too tired to do anything with him.
Andi spent alot of time depressed and mad. I was on paxil for a while but it didnt do much for me. I think that the meds i was taking screwed me up some too.

I either didnt sleep well but just stayed in bed all the time. Now that i have had surgery i can go on much less sleep, some nights if i have been out wtih friends i get to bed at about 3 or 4 and wake up at 9 and am ready to go, and he made the comment that i used to sleep all the time and now i dont sleep at all, lol.

i know that surgery is a super hard decision and its got its on mental problems getting adjusted to it and everything. But i think that once you do it and get through recovery you will be strong and happy!

And like sammies suggested therapy could be abig help for you. And dont forget that we are always here to listen to rants or whines or just plain ramblings!
good luck!

flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 6/20/2009 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know much about depression, but I can tell you that if it is Crohn's related, then surgery will remove the diseased part, so you won't feel sick anymore.
 
I was sick with Crohn's for 7 years and avoided surgery for vanity reasons (real smart, huh?). I kept getting sicker and sicker until I finally had to have surgery in order to save my life. But, I gotta tell ya, I wish I would have done it years earlier!
 
Life without Crohn's is wonderful, and the pouch (in my opinion) is no big deal. It's just a different way to go poo, and there's no urge anymore, which is, frankly, quite liberating after what we've been through!
 
Nobody can tell I have an ileostomy, since it's hidden under my clothes, and I feel just as healthy as I did before I ever got sick. Just wanted to give you some hope that if you do have surgery, life can be great afterward. 
Cecilia
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again.


Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 6/21/2009 2:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Summerstorm,
I like the way you look at things and express thoughts. That is a gift you know. To have energy sounds sooo good. The other one that sounds good is going on a long run and not having to pull down my pants in the bushes. yeah!! (This is where I would put a smiley face if I could figure out how to use those cute icons.) Truely Summerstorm, thanks for the happy,positive and encouraging way you look at life.

Flchurchlady,
What do you mean by vanity? The first surgeon I went to accused me of that and I refused to go back to him. I hope I'm not being vain but not sure. The life I want to live doesn't include vanity.

I liked the word liberating that you used. Getting rid of all the fears that come with this disease would be great. I shall dream of being liberated tonight as I fall asleep. You have shared hope and I appreciate that.

Be well and Gracias (Thanks can feel trite so wanted to spice it up)

Equestrian Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3115
   Posted 6/21/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Trigirl--you are not alone...I suffered with Crohn's for many years and after resection complications had to go back to the OR for an ileostomy. That was 10 years ago and the ileo was temporary so I had it reversed after 3 months of healing. Now to the point of my story: I didn't get very far with my life after that reversal...I was okay for a few months but things got really bad. Even tho my docs knew I should have surgery, and told me so, I wasn't totally ready. Now, mind you I KNEW life WAS better with an ileo, but they waited for ME to make my decision. They couldn't force me to do it and when my mind was ready I was ready. One difference between our situations was I had a small child, like summerstorm, and was non existent in her life for about 6 years...

You have to make the decision for yourself...quality of life should be a major factor...if you don't have any, it is probably time. Like Cecilia said, no one will know you have an ostomy since it is concealed with your clothes. I've been volunteering in a hospital and have had many ostomy patients tell me I am lying when I've said I have one....and they know what one looks like under clothes!!!

Life is really wonderful post surgery, and for me, it is even better since I've had a proctocolectomy! For the first time in 20 years I really feel healthy without fistulas, fevers and gook!

Can you meet with someone who's been in your situation? Maybe your new surgeon can get you a face to face with one of their patients who does that...keep us posted:)

flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 6/21/2009 8:46 AM (GMT -6)   
By vanity, I meant I was concerned about how my body was going to look after surgery. The problem for me was that every doctor I saw never explained how great I would feel after a proctocolectomy. They would just say, after a colonoscopy when I was groggy, "We need to take your colon out." And I would say, "No way!"
 
I had never met someone with an ostomy, so I didn't know how hidden they are. I also recommend asking your doctor if you can meet one of their patient's who has one.
 
Since I was nervous to have surgery, I tried every medicine, vitamin, and special diet that claimed to put Crohn's into remission, and ultimately nothing worked. After being sick for 7 years, I had had enough and didn't care about what my body was going to look like. I just wanted my life back and surgery gave me that.
 
Now that I have an ileostomy, I can speak from experience in saying that I feel much more beautiful and sexy now than I did when I was sick. It's been a huge, pleasant surprise for me, and I'm happy to share that with anyone who is nervous about having surgery, because body image is a common concern. 


Cecilia
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again.


Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 6/21/2009 10:52 AM (GMT -6)   
WOW!! Wish I could meet you guys
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