i can honestly say after 20 years of marriage . i have never hated one till her. she is crazy.......

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mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 8/26/2009 3:23 PM (GMT -6)   
i feel like a bad person for saying that but she doesnt NOTHING but cause problems in my marriage and life...... she is a crazy lady.
i could tell you stories all day but i am just to sick of her i hate to even talk about it.. just needed to vent.... she needs some serious help and or needs to stay away from my kids and me. i am so tired of her. and her controlling ways and her lies. and stealing and so on..  i swear she is mentally ill.............
and i just cant take it any more.. God says he wont give us more then we can handle so i guess i have NO choice but to deal with her. but it is to the point where i dont even care if i see her or talk to her for years....................just stay away from my kids and me.............

summerstorm
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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 8/26/2009 3:41 PM (GMT -6)   
my goodness im sorry!!! you didnt mention who, but im thiningmaybe a mother in law?
I hope things get better and vent away!!!

Trigirl
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 8/27/2009 4:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Yeah, some people are toxic and should be left to enjoy their own company.

mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 8/27/2009 8:12 AM (GMT -6)   
yes it is my mother in law. sorry i didnt mention it.. she drives me crazy to the point i think i am the crazy one..

Marsky
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1956
   Posted 8/27/2009 5:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Is she related to Bob's MIL? Sorry had to ask.......my own MIL, may she RIP, was a SAINT! When others would say how horrible their MIL's were, I'd smile inwardly and then make a vow to emulate my MIL. She could have given lessons on how to be the perfect MIL.

But I am sorry to hear your MIL isn't as understanding mommyphotographer. For what it's worth, have you tried sitting down with her, face to face, when you're not upset and just simply saying - I'd like us to have a good (or better) relationship. See if that helps any.
- Rectal Cancer 4/29/99, Stage I, no treatment necessary
(5 hour colon resection: 90% sigmoid removed, 15 inches of colon removed, gall bladder removed, temporary colostomy, reversed 8 weeks later)
- Chronic IBS/D symptoms, multiple bm's, on low residue diet
- Takes Colace 50 mg each evening


mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 8/27/2009 10:37 PM (GMT -6)   
i cant do that right now. i just dont even want to be near her. i cant stand being in the same town as her at this point.  i am praying things will get better.. God for some reason wants me to go thru this but i have NO idea why except to show me how NOT to be to my kids and their families........ i am so sick of her and her crap.  she really needs some professional help but they wont even deal with her.  last time she tried to get help. she laid on the floor and screamed and threw a fit so they wont let her back.......... i tell you she is crazy..... in more ways then one.

summerstorm
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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 8/28/2009 8:12 AM (GMT -6)   
im so sorry she really does need help if she acted liek that at a dr office.

peggy113
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 8/28/2009 9:59 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry you are going thru this family struggle. Her own worst enemy is herself. There is a reason you have been given these tribulations to carry, but just rise above her. Smile inwardly to yourself, and remember that she has to live with herself. How awful would a life like that be?
Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
   Happy SILVER Anniversary to me!


Lyonene
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 8/29/2009 3:29 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry you're dealing with in-laws like that.  I used to frequent a forum for infertility and I couldn't believe some of the stories I would come across... MILs who blamed the DIL for not getting pregnant, and much, much worse.  Every time someone posted about a nasty in-law people would reply to read Toxic In-Laws.  I've never read it but it was highly recommended by those who had been there and done that.
 

RobinByrd
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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 8/29/2009 6:18 AM (GMT -6)   

I can only imagine the frustrations you feel...especially since your children are exposed to such behaviors. 

Since you are having difficulty finding her professional help, have you considered counseling services for yourself?  I only suggest this b/c a professional may help you through your emotions and support you in setting boundaries.  It's just a suggetion...I hope it's not too out of line.  I do not think 'you' are the one in need of therapy, but I do think it would help your heart right now.   : )

smurf
: )  Robin
 
29 year old Mommy of an amazing 1 year old and Wife for 2 years!
Dx-May 2007 Moderate/Severe Pancolitis - failed all medications
 
Proctocolectomy w/ permanent ileostomy on 02/06/09!!!
 
"Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open."  -Unknown


mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 9/1/2009 7:16 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you i ordered that book tonight....

mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 9/7/2009 8:33 PM (GMT -6)   
tonight i got into a fight a huge fight (not physical) with my husband about his parents again............ I am just so sick of them and how they treat me and how he just goes along with his moms and dad hurtful and crazy ways.  he never ever stood up for me in our 23 years together......... NEVER... even when i was 5 months pregnant with my 3 child and the doctors gave my son a 1 % chance of having some thing wrong with him after seeing the specialist and she begged me to abort our child and my husband let her just go on and on about it and made me cry many many nights and days over this and he never said to her anything.. and
when he got fixed and his mom said what if he wants to get remarried .. he never said anything.  just one things after another . i could right a book about all the time she has hurt me and he just lets her do it............
i have told my kids already that they BETTER stand up for their spouce and they better not let anyone hurt them without you backing your spouce (even me. i said tell me with respect to me and i tell you right now i will not keep hurting you spouce) this is not normal to let your parents keep harming your marriage over and over again......... there is so many stories i wish i could type them all out.. but i jsut to the point where i feel like i could leave my husband over this.. but on the other hand i have kids who will have to go see their father (who would be my X ) and his parents would be able to control things even worse.  SO I AM TRAPPED............... I am just going to do alot of praying and reading that book someone on here mentioned to me. and i hope i learn something that can help me cope with this ............ thanks for listening........ i need someone to talk to who knows what this is like. ....... i think if i had died during my surgeries she (outlaw) would of been so happy............... and what did i do to have to go thru this.. married her son. and love him . she is the one who has caused so many problems in our marriage..............over and over and over again...........
plus his awful addiction to pron since he was 12 and he is now 39................... his lies and her crap. i am just sooooooooo sick of it

Chasblah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 788
   Posted 9/8/2009 2:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Yikes!
You should have a serious talk with your husband.
Sometimes in-laws are crazy. It's the law of nature (....didn't you know....) and yours seems to be exceptionally so.
I'm sure you have had talkes with him b4, but has it been when you both were alone and calm. Tell him to take it seriously. Be understanding to him too. "I know she is your mother and you love her, but...." After all, it IS his mother. As a mother, you should understand that bond. Ask him to say something to her and stand up for you.
If this fails, then tell him no sex. That should work.
Chassity
28 yrs. old. married with one beautiful daughter (born 11/20/07)
-diagnosed with severe pancolitis u/c 2002 had total colectomy 12/19/08; emergency surgery due to abscess-had to redo ileostomy and switch to left side 12/25/08; 2/15/09 found blood clot in superior mesenteric vein (prob. from inf. and surgery inflammation)
coumadin, prenatal vit.
(temporary ileostomy....maybe)

"Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out."


mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 9/8/2009 6:42 PM (GMT -6)   
the strange thing she bragged about how she hated her kids and wished they were dead when they were little. and how she never held my husband even to feed him a bottle ,and how she made him stay in the crib all day long till her husband got home. and then when they outgrew the crib it was in a play pin all day and 4 hour naps and then to bed at 7 every day same old thing........... she was very much into the same thing every day..  and never went to any of his games or anything. she just cleaned her house all day long every day. and still does.. she get so excited to say she cleaned from 5 am till bed time on her garage. just crazy about that.. so now that he is not in the home and is married she now acts like she is a wonderful mom.......... BULL she isnt and she is a rotten mother in law.. but the sex thing is a great idea.............. wish i didnt like sex so much because that would surely work..  but i will have to try it for a while and see if i see any results.... i doubt it.. after 23 years of it..   He loves her more i guess............. i say go back to her and let me move on then.... but then he will say i cant live with her she is crazy............and would drive me nuts....but why cant he stand up for me............why i dont get it.

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 9/8/2009 8:39 PM (GMT -6)   
MILs are hard to deal with as a general rule, esp the sons mother. Although yours is totally over the top!!!
I have a son, and i kind of understand why the mother gets upset, because its like someone took your son away from you and is the most important person to them now.
HOWEVER i look at it as that is just one more person to love and protect my son.

My MIL is hard to deal with, but not that bad our problem is that she wont pay any attention to our child but my SILs children are always getting attention, in fact, this is so crazy SIL is 33, and has two kids. She has NEVER once slept in a bed by herself, until she moved out to get married she and my MIL slept in the bed together. Well anyway, her husband got a job as a truck driver and is gone during the week, so my MIL has gone to stay with my SIL, because my SIL cant be alone!!!
So Sunday through wed they live at my SILs house then wed through friday, or saturday if her husband doesnt come home, they live at my inlaws house!!!
How freakign crazy is that!!! And my husband is gone on business and such all the time, he is right now, did anyway offer to come stay with me??? NO!!!!

Ok anyway, i digress, just wanted to show you that other peoples inlaws are crazy too,lol.

But your MIL sounds like she seriously needs some help. who brags about not taking care of their own children? why have them if you dont want to do anything with them?
If i were you i would just cut her out as much as possible.
Dont try to make your husband choose cause thats impossible for him, but tell him he needs to look at this and actually see how she is acting, not jusst how he wants to see her because she is his mom.

good luck!

Chasblah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 788
   Posted 9/9/2009 7:46 AM (GMT -6)   
OK mommyphoto. she is satan. That is just evil to say that about your own children. I would probably cut her out of my life. Maybe totally ignore her, like she's not in the room, when you have to be around her. That would REALLY get her peeved.
Chassity
28 yrs. old. married with one beautiful daughter (born 11/20/07)
-diagnosed with severe pancolitis u/c 2002 had total colectomy 12/19/08; emergency surgery due to abscess-had to redo ileostomy and switch to left side 12/25/08; 2/15/09 found blood clot in superior mesenteric vein (prob. from inf. and surgery inflammation)
coumadin, prenatal vit.
(temporary ileostomy....maybe)

"Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out."


2much2bear
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 624
   Posted 9/10/2009 7:36 AM (GMT -6)   
hi Mommy
 
i havent read the whole thread but here is a link to an american website with biblical biased videos and books and advice galore that may help - you may have heard of them - Cloud-Townsend: -
 
 
Karen - 47 yrs young!
1997: Diagnosed IBS
2003: Pelvic floor repair surgery (rectocele/cystocele)
2006: STARR surgery for mucosal prolapse/Obstruction
2006: Diagnosed with slow transit constipation
2007: Sigmoid resection because of partial volvulus resulting in immediate colonic inertia
March 2009: Loop Ileostomy - awaiting reversal ..hohum..
 
 


SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 9/10/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I had a MIL li8ke that but I chose to ignore her after I told her to keep her nose out of my marriage.Then the other daughter called me up & chewed me out for talking to the MIL like I did.Told her off too........Sure made me feel better,lol...........
SnowyLynne

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