wish my scar was not there................ help

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mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 3/17/2010 6:46 PM (GMT -6)   
of those of you how are of a average weight/thinner and like look sexy . does your scar make you feel bad about your self..
how big is your scar. mine is like 9 inches from breast to pelvic bone and i hate it. but i still want to just be me and wear my bikini this summer. but on the other hand it looks awful. do you guys just show off your scar or hid it.. and what does your husband really think about it. does it turn him off. i know i wear tiny night gounds and when we have sex i will take the top down and so that the gound will hide my scar in the middle if that makes sence.. anyone else feel like i do.. and or what do you feel about it..

Shaz032
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1246
   Posted 3/17/2010 9:17 PM (GMT -6)   
They're not scars, they're survival wounds and show just how strong you really are :)
Ileostomy for 33 years due to UC

Moderator of the Ostomy and Psoriasis Forums

_______________________________________________

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!


Collicat
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 827
   Posted 3/17/2010 9:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree...you should look at these as battle scars that have allowed you to become healthy again. My 18 year old, who is at a very impressionable age with dating, shows them off to anyone who will look and everyone, including the girls, are in awe of him and what he has been through!

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 3/17/2010 9:35 PM (GMT -6)   
yep shaz thats a good way to put it!

that said, i dont care for mine, i think its ugly, but im not too upset about it. What does bother me about it, actually makes me mad, is that under the wafer the scar has faded almost completly! And the scar part, down there, is mostly faded! its the top part, that could actually be visible to other people if i wore certain clothes, is the part that looks the worse, whats that about!
im not gonna be wearing any bikinis anyway, too many strechmarks from being pregnant and gaining and losing large amounts of weight in the past, to do that anyway! and im too old for belly shirts anymore, lol.
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007! 
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-


badbaggirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 275
   Posted 3/18/2010 12:39 AM (GMT -6)   
After numerous surgeries, one so bad they left it open to drain (gaping scar) and now after an ostomy and developing a hernia ( WAY bigger than my boobs) I hear what you are asking. I was thin, a dancer when I was younger, and basically was proud of my body and took care of it. It is devastating. I felt as though I was mutilated. For some it takes longer. I got in touch with a a therapist that specializes in body image, which helped a lot. Yeah, they say you can do ANYTHING and wear anything you used to do but sorry. You can't in some cases. I am sorry if I SOUND like a Debbie Downer. I am trying to refigure a life. I do have to say my guy loves me AND desires me. That should be a given. You just have to work on yourself. I have learned I can not go back to normal but to figure out a new normal. It's a journey that's hard, but I am getting there. Good luck. I wish it were as easy as some ...
BadBagGirl
Crohn's Disease, Colostomy due to cancer and I make darned good dill pickles.


suebear
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 5692
   Posted 3/18/2010 10:24 AM (GMT -6)   
I also embrace my scars. They tell a story and make me unique from the majority of the population.

Sue
dx proctitis in 1987
dx UC in 1991, was stable until 1998

1998 started prednisone, asacol, pentasa, nortriptylene, ativan, 6MP, rowasa enemas and suppositories, hydrocortisone enemas, tried the SCD diet, being a vegetarian, omega 3s, flax, pranic healing, yoga, acupuncture, probiotics

2000 lost all my B-12 stores and became anemic

2001 opted for j-pouch surgery- now living life med-free


Allison77
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 421
   Posted 3/18/2010 11:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Im currently doing Aqua Fit with people MUCH older then me (im 32, most are in their 50-70's). A gentleman in our class has a abdominal scar, earily close to what my scar looks like. I walked up to him and said "I have the EXACT same scar" He looked me up and down, put his arm around my shoulder and said "we have to stick close, there aren't to many of us out there." Im ok with my scars, they are my medals of courage. And this is coming from someone who is so vain(I am!!), she quit smoking NOT because of all the health reason's but because smoking gives you wrinkles.

-Allie
www.oscartheostomy.blogspot.com


-Allison
RX Crohn's 1999, over 30 surgeries, 3 strokes, permanent colostomy and rectum removal.
 
"The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new."


pam222
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 985
   Posted 3/18/2010 12:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a horizontal c-section scar, the large scar in the middle, a scar where i had an ostomy on the right, and will have a scar where i have the ostomy on the left. my belly button is a weird oval shape now and my stomach is separated into like 3 parts....looks very weird. I don't really care, though. I'm not ashamed of them. It's not like it's MY fault I got UC and had to have this done.
And really, would you look at someone in a swimming suit with a scar and really care? I'd look and think "huh, wonder what happened" maybe but that would be it
26 year old female
Diagnosed with unspecified UC 11/08 (symptoms for over a year before)
Asacol, Prednisone, Remicade with no success--no remission for over 2 years
8/09 colonoscopy shows that the whole colon is affected
12/18/09 First part of J-Pouch surgery; recessed stoma
12/30/09 Second part of J-Pouch surgery too soon; RV fistula
1/9/10 Second Ileostomy Surgery with sparing of the J-Pouch
1/25/10 Stoma Revision Surgery and Fistula Repair
4/6/10 Going to try to go back to the J-Pouch again
Imodium (8/day), Questran (3/day), TPN 12 hours/day, IV fluids 4 hours/day


honestwoman50
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 833
   Posted 3/18/2010 1:24 PM (GMT -6)   
mommyphotographer
Hi, well for me I just got my total colectomy in Feb, and I live alone and don't have a boyfriend.  So those thoughts have ran through my head....but I know just how big the scar is and my belly button is kind of off center and funky looking.  To me this scar is the one I am proud to have because this is what changed and saved my life.  So I don't care what anyone says or does not say because it means life to me.
 
If your husband loves you he will not mind either.
 
My best to you
 
Leslie
Leslie King


Chasblah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 788
   Posted 3/18/2010 9:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't like my scars but i don't feel bad about myself either.
Last summer, i saw a young lady (bout 14ish) at the local swim park, wearing a bikini and she had a huge scar on her abdomen. she wasn't afraid to let it show. I doubt anybody thought more about it than 'wonder how she got that'. I was impressed with that. And i was comforted.
Chassity
28 yrs. old. married with one beautiful daughter (born 11/20/07)
-diagnosed with severe pancolitis u/c 2002 had total colectomy 12/19/08; emergency surgery due to abscess-had to redo ileostomy and switch to left side 12/25/08; 2/15/09 found blood clot in superior mesenteric vein (prob. from inf. and surgery inflammation)
i only take vitamins now, when I WANT to. :)
(temporary ileostomy....maybe)

"Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out."


Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 3/18/2010 9:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I still feel new at having a scar. 6 kids and no stretch marks has made me like the flat smooth stomach I had. Now the scar which goes from belly-button down is rather ugly to me. But I liked all the answers about a badge of courage and the symbol of saving my life. OK I'm old but I can change and be better, so I will think like you guys who are proud and undaunted by it all.

Thanks for your good attitudes
Those things we keep trying to do get easier not because the feat gets easier but our ability to "do" gets better.
Thyroid cancer removed 1988
Stomach problems finally figured out 2001 Crohn's/Colitus
Tried every drug without much success
Colon/rectal cancer removed Aug 2009
6 Grown kids, grandkids and a great husband to keep me busy


honestwoman50
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 833
   Posted 3/18/2010 9:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Chasblah  Wow, good for her and you...n thats the way it should be...
Leslie King


Equestrian Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3115
   Posted 3/19/2010 5:18 AM (GMT -6)   
I view mine a battle scars and they've gotten uglier over the years:( They don't bother me, so if they bother someone else, it's their problem...and my hubby has no issues with them!!

I have seen some who will tattoo theirs...is that an option for you?
Crohn’s dx 1989
some terrible years before my
Proctocolectomy in 2008


mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 3/19/2010 7:51 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you everyone for your post........ i appreicate it alot..........
my scar is from having all but about 5 inches of my large colon removed and then 3 months later i had a whole in my remaining colon and so i opened back up and even farther up. so needless to say it looks gross to me... hubby doesnt mind it he says but it does bother me. I am trying to get my body back in shape also and once i get it back to how i want to look i will try to be brave and wear what i want to wear like bikin at the beach. i love the sun and love the sun on my belly also.. i am getting some sun already on my belly at home in the back yard.. been out 2 times now (live in michigan so i can get out much yet) I have lost the weight i gained in the last two years with my health being bad. but now i am down those 25 pounds and still would liek to loose some more. i am a size 5/7 amd weigh 125/130 and i am only 5.3 so i can still loose some more and be very healthy.. my belly is the part that looks the worst. it may never get back to normal with the muscles being all cut.. has any of you got your belly flat again after being cut a vertical cut. i am soooooooooo hoping to have a little belly again..

honestwoman50
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 833
   Posted 3/19/2010 11:42 AM (GMT -6)   
mommyphotographer
     So you live in Mich.?  What part?  I use to live in Roseville before my dad moved us to Oregon in1967.  I was wondering the same thing.  The way my stomach is cut I don't think that mine will ever tighten up.  But during this whole process of being ill before the surgery I have lost 115 and I am 5'10 and weigh now 133, so I know everyone will do the math and yes oh yes I need to loose weight.  I had gained the weight through being bed ridden for a year and from being so ill for so long that I never got any exercise.  I have never been so heavy before but it happened.
 
I have a question ?  How do you put your diagnosis at the bottom?  Do you have to type it in every time or is there a way to do it that it automatically puts it in?  That is why no one has really seen all I have been through, and its too long to do every time.
 
Be well and good luck with your tummy....
 
Leslieyeah   nono
Leslie King


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 3/19/2010 3:27 PM (GMT -6)   
if you get sun on your scar it wont fade as well! They told me at the tanning bed you could cover it with chapstick or something, just cover the scar with sunscreen!
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007! 
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-


RELIEVED
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 3/19/2010 3:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I had UC for 15 years and then in 2005 had partial colon removal and had a blood clot in the chest. Took 2 surgeries to have all colon removed. May 2006 had J-pouch connected and have had to deal with hemmoroids, bleeding, swelling and pain when going to the bathroom. My trips to the bathroom were between 20-25 a day. Ouch. And very tiring. Last year I found something that worked and stopped all of the above symptoms and the trips went to 7-8 times a day and sleeping at night. Wow is all I can say. Relieve found me for about 8 months then I stopped taking them. Over the last 5-6 months all of the symptoms came back. Seen the GI surgeon and cannot explain why I am having these problems as everything seems normal. Apparently I am not the only one having these problems and cannot find a reason for it. Options were to have bowel rest for 3 months with an illestomy or permanent illestomy. That is out of the question for me. So I decided to try again what I was on last year and have been on it a week and so far hemmroids are shrinking, trips to bathroom are 7-9 times a day, sleeping better and no pain. What more could I ask for.

I look forward to speaking with others with similar situations.
email addy removed for safety

I live in Nova Scotia
Holly


Hi Holly, it's best for your own safety not to put your email addy in a public forum message. If you want people to be able to email you, add your email address to your profile and direct people there to obtain it. Otherwise spammers can harvest your email from a public message (they can't from your profile though)... Shaz

Post Edited By Moderator (Shaz032) : 3/19/2010 10:07:35 PM (GMT-6)


honestwoman50
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 833
   Posted 3/19/2010 8:46 PM (GMT -6)   
summerstorm
Thanks that's a good tip about tanning, but I dont think I will be tanning that part of my body...LOL
Leslie King


Shaz032
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1246
   Posted 3/19/2010 10:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Honestwoman50 said...
How do you put your diagnosis at the bottom? Do you have to type it in every time or is there a way to do it that it automatically puts it in? That is why no one has really seen all I have been through, and its too long to do every time.



If you go in under Control Panel --> Edit Profile you can add your signature down the bottom. Note: signatures are to be no more than 10 lines long (including blank lines) under the forum rules.
Ileostomy for 33 years due to UC

Moderator of the Ostomy and Psoriasis Forums

_______________________________________________

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 3/19/2010 10:43 PM (GMT -6)   
weloh well when you said your belly i thought you meant you would have your shirt off or something when you laid out,
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007! 
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-


RELIEVED
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 3/20/2010 4:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much. I did change my profile so me email is visible there. Thanks again. Shaz032

Liza D
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 166
   Posted 3/23/2010 10:43 AM (GMT -6)   
My husband just told me the other night when he saw my scar, how proud of me he is. We call them my battle scars. I can't pretend I know how you feel. I have really small scars and my doc wanted to make sure they were as small as possible. My ilo scar shows in my bathing suit but even that is only two inches. After my fistula correction my lap scar went from three inches to about 5 inches. It looks like a smiley face.

Your husband has been there through most of this, I'm guessing. I'm sure he is just happy to have you not wincing in pain. He didn't marry you for your cute stomach. Also, give it time. It will fade more. And you'll get used to it.

Good luck.
UC (Pancolitis... 90%!) December 2001
Arthritis (2003)
Upper GI Ulcer (2006)
Osteopenia (2008)
Depression/Anxiety (2002)
J-Pouch May 2009/ Reversal November 2009/ Fistula correction March 2010

Check out my blog: shlookshlies.blogspot.com/

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