I want to introduce myself (Pseudo Obstruction with an iliostomy)

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Bre
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/3/2005 5:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone!  My name is Bre and I am 19 (almost 20).  I live in Illinois and I have had an iliostomy my entire life.  I do not know what a "normal" life is.  I was diagnosed with Pseudo Obstruction disease when I was 5, since I was misdiagnosed from day 1 to year 5.  I am so glad that there are places like this for people to talk about ostomies.  Now that i am getting older and trying to be "normal" in the adult world. I am finding that I am having a harder time adjusting to the fact that I am different.  I have had a central line for my entire life for TPN feeding, that was until last year.  I went to have the line replaced and the doctor told me that there was no where else to put a line in and i was on my own.  So i ate and with the Grace of God, power of lots of prayers, and family love I am here now.  I am wondering if anyone out there has any experience on how it was for them the first time their significant other saw their ostomy.  What was their reaction?  Were they with you before the ostomy and after, or are you like me and had to figure out a way to tell/show your significant other about the ostomy.  I never dated much during high school.  I was more into school and working.  I found a guy who really seemed to like me for me.  He has been in and out of my life now for 6 years.  We are getting serious again.  He was the first one to know everything.  I have told him about my ostomy, but I don't know if he actually understands.  He was completely understanding about my central line, but thats different from an ostomy.  I have heard about special underwear for people with ostomies, but the only one I found was in Canada, and I don't really want to order online, does anyone know of any shops?  Feel free to e-mail me or instant message me anytime.  I love to talk to people.
yeah  PS sorry if there are any spelling mistakes I can't find the spell check!

Have a wonderful day,
Bre


Mr-sparky
New Member


Date Joined May 2004
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 3/3/2005 7:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm not to active here, but am 48 and have had the ileostomy since I was 21. I was married at the time and my wife didn't have any problem with the bag, her pants yes, but that is another forum. I have had 6 or 7 bedroom partners and never an issue with the bag.

I have been married 20 years this time, and my wife didn't have a problem at all. I approached it in different ways, with one, before we got too close, we were in the car in a parking lot and I just said, I have something to show you, pulled down the shorts and showed her, I think she was more surprised I pulled down my pants in near public than my having the bag, Others I told about it before and one I just plain forgot and she never mentioned it, with several encounters with each over the 4 years I was single.

I think the secret is your attitude about it. It really never occured to me to be nervous about it. I know that is easier said than done.

One thing I have done in many areas thruout the years, and that is a simple statement, "you aren't going to believe this", or in this case, "You may not be able to handle this but";

These phrases play on the emotion that they are going to prove you wrong, they are going to be able to handle it just to show you they can, and most will be prepared for something much worse than a bag.

I would be up front, and open and don't let them know it bothers you, it shouldn't it is part of you. One of the ladies I knew that way was a swinger and nudist, she invited me to both, I never took her up on it, not the bag, more just general feeling about it, but I asked her about it, and she said the group she was with wouldn't think anything about it.

I know it is hard to believe anyone could accept you, but they will, do not ever turn down an opportunity to date just because you are afraid of what they will think of your extra accessories.

Good luck and go have fun

M
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 3/7/2005 7:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Bre

I guess my storey is somewhat similar to yours.. I have had illeostomy all my life & dont know what its like being normal. Just like u I never dated in High school & even after that I am 24 yrs now & with time I find it more & more difficult to adjust socially.
Now I am so busy with my Job & studies that I dont have time for anything else.
Its good to know there is someone out there who feels the same way. I guess Mr Sparky has the right attidute the only thing that matters is how u feel about yourself.
Good luck & stay in touch
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