You know you have an ostomy when...

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
30 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 10/30/2012 5:21 AM (GMT -6)   
You know you have an ostomy when...

...someone tells a joke and your stoma "laughs" with you.

...your purse just grew three sizes to accommodate your emergency supplies.

...showering *fully* naked is exciting.

...the color, consistency, and detail of your poo is more interesting to you than most other topics.

...your new "butthole" has a name.

C'mon, I know you Ostomates can think of other ones....
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
10/4/12 - proctocolectomy / J-Pouch construction / loop ileostomy
Take-down scheduled December 11th

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

Post Edited (bootstrap) : 11/7/2012 7:31:47 PM (GMT-7)


mrsbugzy
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 641
   Posted 10/30/2012 1:16 PM (GMT -6)   
TOO FUNNY! With all that we all go thru it is necessary to keep your sense of humor on top! Good for you for reminding us of that :)
Gluten intolerance, gluten free for 10+ years,
hypothyroidism for 20+ years (family history)
total colectomy with ileo rectal anastomosis 1/12
Mom of 10 year old with chronic kidney issues

ActiveUCer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 1685
   Posted 10/30/2012 5:07 PM (GMT -6)   
You poop around company, visitors, during meetings, etc.
Pooping does not require clothing removal
You can "gas" and it's never your conscious fault
You have more pooping supplies than a baby
http://activeguts.wordpress.com/

Drug refractory UC
Colectomy with end ileostomy August 30th, 2012 - jpouch sometime
IBD related arthritis and peristomal pyoderm gangrenosome

Pentasa (1000x4), hydrocort enemas, dermal steroid shots, 10 mgs pred and dropping!

Tried lots of drugs and diet, didn't work for me.

Somedude
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 3393
   Posted 10/30/2012 8:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey...boot, update your blog. Write something. Anything entertaining. You should update each week.

I probably mentioned it before, but your site is the shiznit! You're the real deal.
DX Ulcerative Colitis (panchocolitis) - May 2011.

"Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you' gonna get. " by Forrest Gump

Shaz032
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1242
   Posted 10/31/2012 4:37 AM (GMT -6)   
You don't have any time to get any reading done on the loo - 2 minutes, I've emptied and I'm out of there!
Ileostomy for 35 years due to UC. I had my surgery at 10 years of age.

Moderator of the Ostomy and Psoriasis Forums

_______________________________________________

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 11/1/2012 12:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Haha! Nice additions, Ladies and Gents. Keep 'em coming!!

SomeDude- Thanks! I was just going to post some pics tomorrow of how my incisions are healing, so I don't think "entertaining" would necessarily be the word I'd use to describe that, LOL. Maybe I'll try to come up with something to jazz it up a bit. ;-)
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
10/4/12 - proctocolectomy / J-Pouch construction / loop ileostomy
Take-down scheduled December 11th

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

kazygirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 11/1/2012 1:15 AM (GMT -6)   
you know you have an ostomy when...

you have to drop your pants all the way onto the floor and spread you legs as far as they will go so you can crap!

the store employees think you are shoplifting something under your clothes because your bag is full
steph ~ gold coast, australia ~ 36
UC since 2003 :: lots of blood & pain, hard to manage flares, never more than 2 months remission at a time.
emergency life saving surgery in march 2012 :: total colectomy & ileostomy

felt great to throw away ALL my meds!
reversal planned for aug 2012 :: 2 more surgeries required to complete j-pouch

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 11/1/2012 1:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Haha, so true about having to drop my pants all the way to the floor. And sitting WAAY farther back on the toilet seat than ever before to leave room for taking care of business between the legs - it's like I'm on a recliner or something.
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
10/4/12 - proctocolectomy / J-Pouch construction / loop ileostomy
Take-down scheduled December 11th

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

ActiveUCer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 1685
   Posted 11/1/2012 8:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh wow...haven't had the "shoplifting" suspicion thing happen yet.
http://activeguts.wordpress.com/

Drug refractory UC
Colectomy with end ileostomy August 30th, 2012 - jpouch sometime
IBD related arthritis and peristomal pyoderm gangrenosome

Pentasa (1000x4), hydrocort enemas, dermal steroid shots, 10 mgs pred and dropping!

Tried lots of drugs and diet, didn't work for me.

bostwis1
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 271
   Posted 11/1/2012 12:58 PM (GMT -6)   
When you hear someone talking about a "one piece" or a "two piece" you think of ostomy bags, not swimsuits.
Sara
22 year-old nursing student
Diagnosed with left side UC June 2010
Current meds: NONE
Step 1 J-pouch: 12/19/11
Hernia repair: 1/5/12
Stomach perforation surgery: 1/21/12
No colon, no problems!

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 11/1/2012 8:44 PM (GMT -6)   
...whenever the dog sneakily farts and stinks up the room you check to make sure your bag's not leaking.
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
10/4/12 - proctocolectomy / J-Pouch construction / loop ileostomy
Take-down scheduled December 11th

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

kazygirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 11/2/2012 9:04 AM (GMT -6)   
OMG yes. Anytime i smell any kind of poo smell i have to check my bag to make sure the smell isn't coming from me. Hahahaha
steph ~ gold coast, australia ~ 36
UC since 2003 :: lots of blood & pain, hard to manage flares, never more than 2 months remission at a time.
emergency life saving surgery in march 2012 :: total colectomy & ileostomy

felt great to throw away ALL my meds!
reversal planned for aug 2012 :: 2 more surgeries required to complete j-pouch

polishdan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1595
   Posted 11/2/2012 11:24 AM (GMT -6)   
pants to the floor, sit way back, spread legs farther than they want to go........all fine for you ladies......but we men also have to be careful of.......well, you know...

Dan

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 11/3/2012 5:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Haha - Oh jeez Dan, I can just imagine having one more thing in the way, LOL. What a pain! And I thought I had it bad.
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
10/4/12 - proctocolectomy / J-Pouch construction / loop ileostomy
Take-down scheduled December 11th

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

ShyAnn29
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 11/3/2012 10:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Why do you drop your pants onto the floor, and spread your legs apart to empty your bag? It's much easier to sit sideways on the toilet, that's what I do anyways.

You know you have an ostomy when you're with a group, and someone farts, you know for a fact it wasn't you!

And you can poop fully clothed.
• Never Give Up •

*Total colectomy due to colonic inertia at 13 years old.
*Had my rectum removed due to rectal inertia at 16 years old.
*Got small bowel inertia and an ileostomy at 18 years old, which I still have, and I'm 30 years old now.

polishdan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1595
   Posted 11/3/2012 7:03 PM (GMT -6)   
ShyAnn
WHAT?? SIDEWAYS? PANTS UP? KNEES TOGETHER?? Give us a good description of your procedure. Sounds like it could be really messy.

Dan

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 11/4/2012 4:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Haha, I agree with Dan - I'm having a hard time picturing it! My stoma is so low on my tummy, I don't even think the bag would reach over my leg to go sideways, anyway. But still - I may need a picture of this pants up, knees together situation. It's gotta take some careful concentration not to make a mess in that position!
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
10/4/12 - proctocolectomy / J-Pouch construction / loop ileostomy
Take-down scheduled December 11th

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

Post Edited (bootstrap) : 11/4/2012 3:50:30 AM (GMT-7)


flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 11/4/2012 12:47 PM (GMT -6)   
These are hilarious! Keep 'em coming! tongue

You know you have an ostomy when...

You start to categorize your friends as "rectal" and "non-rectal"
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at age 28. Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free and medicine-free since surgery and very thankful to be healthy again.
I'm not a doctor, but I have been told that I look like someone who plays one on TV!

RiddleMeThis
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 255
   Posted 11/4/2012 4:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, seriously ShyAnn, please tell how you do this! I have no idea what you are talking about when you mean sit sideways!? I am so confused as to EXACTLY how this works!
Sarah, 22 y/o.
Ileostomy
Thyroid Cancer, Severe Crohn's Disease, Thymus Hyperplasia, Undiagnosed Hyperhidrosis Condition w/ unrelated symptoms, Undiagnosed Low Blood Oxygen Saturation Condition

Current rx: Celexa, Lomotil, Pentasa, Humira, Synthroid, Multivitamin, Calcium w/ Vitamin D, Fentanyl, Depo Provera, Zofran, Lansoprazole, Propranolol

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 11/4/2012 6:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I think we need a photo. Fully clothed, of course... just pull the bag out to show us how it works. You don't even need to have your face in it if you're shy. ;)
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
10/4/12 - proctocolectomy / J-Pouch construction / loop ileostomy
Take-down scheduled December 11th

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

Somedude
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 3393
   Posted 11/5/2012 6:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I think she faces the SIDE of the toilet, she crouches a bit so the stoma is level to the bowl,she then sticks the bag's end into the toilet bowl?
DX Ulcerative Colitis (pancolitis) - May 2011.

"Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you' gonna get. " by Forrest Gump

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 11/5/2012 6:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Her words were "sit sideways on the toilet." It just wouldn't quite work for me. My stoma is situated too low, and the bag is not long enough to reach over my leg. It's all good, though. I've got my own system going. Just wish I didn't have to use so much TP cleaning out the tail every time.
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
10/4/12 - proctocolectomy / J-Pouch construction / loop ileostomy
Take-down scheduled December 11th

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

polishdan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1595
   Posted 11/6/2012 3:03 PM (GMT -6)   
boot
I have an 8 ounce squeeze bottle. I put 4 or 5 ounces of water in it. After I empty I squeeze the water into my pouch, squish it around and let it out. Saves on TP.

Dan

bootstrap
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 583
   Posted 11/20/2012 2:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Bump for ShyAnn...
Follow my story: ronnielee-fightingforit.blogspot.com

32-year-old single female (teacher)
Oct 2012 - Proctocolectomy, J-Pouch, loop ileostomy.
Take-down scheduled Dec 11th.

Dx mild/moderate UC 1995
Dx severe pancolitis 2011

Peace&Harmony
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 1144
   Posted 11/21/2012 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
You know you have an ostomy when...

Farting forward becomes a popular party trick.
 
You walk around with your hand on your bag wondering if it time for a bathroom break.
 
You name your bag after people in your life who are "full of crap"
 
 
 
Diagnosed with UC, July 2010
proctocolectomy with end ileostomy, Sept 2012
Bye Bye UC!
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
30 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, July 24, 2017 12:51 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,844,628 posts in 312,142 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 154029 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Goldfish1234.
308 Guest(s), 7 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
freedancer, Erice77, getting by, arachnids, testuser1234, celebrate life, kellyinCali


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2017 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer