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puddnpie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 2/26/2007 9:39 PM (GMT -6)   

Ellie
Current mood: VIEW IMAGE anxious

So here I am sitting on my rump waiting for the night and the days go by until the day we leave for my final step to recovery... Nobody has any idea whats its like to wait to be "normal" again...Ellie my friend who has been by my side literally and my partner in crime is about to make his last move for the last time... It may be a little sad to see Ellie gone but only for a moment... Then its onto bigger and better things. Ellie has brought me many stories to tell, many sad and angry moments then there are those moments when you just have to laugh at the sounds he does so well. Ellie and I have about 24 days left of each other then it will be the long awaited time to say goodbye... Ellie my friend sorry but you are one that I will never miss in the future... wow it is amazing how you come attachted to something that you have hated for so long and from day one. But we all know that things come and go and we eventually have to say goodbye.....
 
 
So I hope you enjoy my venting story I also have it posted on myspace.. Thanks for listening..
Angela

vette guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 2/26/2007 11:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Good luck with the reversal. I'm sorry to read that you hated having an ostomy so much. I can honestly say without any hesitation that given the opportunity I would choose to keep my ostomy. Although I've had mine for 18 years now due to Crohn's I still remeber quite vividly the constant pain, weakness, and the emotional prison I was in. I guess we all look at thing differently. That 's what makes us unique.

vette guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 3/3/2007 12:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I've been thinking about this thread since I originally posted in it.  I've met some genuinely terrific people in this forum and I hope you can help me out.
 
Having a post from someone with a temporary ostomy that rants and raves about how much they hated it does absoluteley NOTHING for the betterment of this forum. I'm sure many new ostomates look to this forum for guidance, support, and most of all an emotional uplifting. If I was a new ostomate suffering from depression and I read this thread I would probably be looking for the nearest clocktower. Those of us with a PERMANENT ostomy were probably depressed in the beginning but eventually realized that their lives have actually improved because of it. Most newbes worry about how they'll look. But, we all now that no one would ever know that you had one unless you told them.
 
So,  I'm asking all you terrific people out there to share some stories or examples of how your ostomy has made your life better. It sounds melodramatic, but it could save a life.

Shaz032
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 3/3/2007 2:38 AM (GMT -6)   
vette guy, I can understand what you're saying but I think we have to remember that everyone reacts differently to their surgery and venting here can help them come to terms with it. Not everyone is able to come to accept their stoma straight away (esp in the case of those with temporary stomas - often by the time they learn to accept it, it's time for a reversal anyway).

One of the things about people with temporary ostomies is that many refuse to come to terms with their stoma because they keep telling themselves it IS only temporary and that they won't have it for long. As I said, many find that if by chance, they DO come to accept it, then it's time for their reversal surgery to lose their ostomy again. That's why many tend to react differently to those of us who know our stoma is permanent. Those of us with permanent stomas have no choice but to accept our stomas because we know we'll have them for the rest of our lives.

This doesn't mean that the feelings of those with temporary stomas aren't as valid as ours. They're coming from a different position in life than we are. I feel they should be allowed to vent here as much as they want to, just as those of us with a permanent ostomy are allowed to express our negative feelings too :)
I have had an ileostomy for 31 years now due to UC.
 
Moderator of the Ostomy Forum
_______________________________________________
 
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!


vette guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 3/3/2007 5:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Shaz- Believe me, I understand your point. But, I don't think you understand mine completely. Hopefully if I explain myself further you'll understand. Many people look to these forums because they are very depressed, not thinking clearly, and they're seeking a way to cope with their condition. I too was quite depressed shortly after my surgery. So much so that I attempted suicide!!! Several members of my local ostomy association attempted suicide as well. Unfortunatley, some of them succeeded. Here's my story....about 18 years ago my wife strained her back carrying my then 2 year old son to bed. He had fallen asleep in the car on the way home from my In-laws. This would normally be my job. But, obviously due to my surgery I couldn't do any heavy lifting. The doctor presribed pain killers and muscle relaxers for her back. My wife doesn't like to take pills so she never used them. On a particularly depressing day I swallowed the contents of both bottles, went to sleep, and didn't plan on ever waking up! I wasn't thinking clearly and I know God will forgive me for it. This was the one time I was actually grateful to fail at something.
Since then I have been extremely sensitive to the emotional well-being of my fellow ostomates. Hey, I know we all like to vent in this forum.  But it bothered me when I saw a post that could have a negative impact on a new ostomate. Eventually I became a registered visitor with the United Ostomy Association, visiting patients in the local hospitals who recently underwent ostomy surgery. Over the years a few of the people that I visited called me at home and told me that I may have saved their life because they too were contemplating suicide!!!
So now I hope you can understand that I wasn't complaining about the post just to be difficult. I was complaining because I care about my fellow ostomy brothers and sisters who are feeling very low and don't know where to turn. A post like this can make a depressed and irrational person feel even worse. You see, sometimes words , although innocent in their intent, can be very dangerous to the wrong person.
 
So, although it seems my original plan backfired on me, how about sharing a story about how your ostomy has made a marked improvement on your life? I'm sure it would mean a lot to someone. Whaddaya say????
 
 

Shaz032
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 3/3/2007 8:29 AM (GMT -6)   
I know you weren't complaining about it - you were just saying how you felt, which is perfectly fine :)

I know you saw the post "Happy Times" by Puddnpie. Perhaps others can add their view there.

For me, I can honestly say that my parents made the best decision of their lives allowing me to have the surgery when I was 10 years old. It must have been so much harder for them than me - all I knew was that I would be well again - they were the ones who worried about what it would be like for me as I got older. Their biggest worry was that one day I would turn around to them and say 'why did you let them do this to me?' - I never have. I love my ostomy and the life it has given back to me.
I have had an ileostomy for 31 years now due to UC.
 
Moderator of the Ostomy Forum
_______________________________________________
 
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!


puddnpie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 3/5/2007 4:15 PM (GMT -6)   
So im sorry to cause such a fuss about what I typed. .Yes it was hard at the beginning but now I have accepted it, but I i am sceduled for a reversal on the 22nd of march. I didnt think there would be a problem with what I wrote... I see other people compalin on the site too. I did do a post about the good things a stoma can bring. sorry to hurt anybody I didnt mean to...
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