The pain you're talking about Lisa is called Phantom Rectal Pain. Just like someone who loses a limb can still 'feel' it itching, so our bodies have to get used to it's new plumbing. The only way I found to relieve it was to go and sit on the loo even though I knew nothing would come of it.
The good news is that in time it diminishes in frequency and eventually disappears altogether :)
As for chats, if you Google, you should find some chat rooms for ostomates as well as the one here on Healingwell.
I have had an ileostomy for 31 years now due to UC.
Moderator of the Ostomy Forum
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!