Heh, too bad about the wasted flange. I've had an ileostomy since February of this year, and sometimes trial and error becomes the norm.
I'm wondering though, if your itchiness may be due to a mild skin reaction to your skin prep? Have you tried different brands that may be made of slightly different ingredients. I know that some stomahesive pastes have pectin in them, for example. Or some barrier sprays sting and some don't.
If you're pretty sure the skin prep isn't causing this, what comes to my mind that may stop itching is anti-itch powder. I know there are some brands that are used for feet, I don't see why it wouldn't work around a stoma. Both feet and the skin area around a stoma tend to get moist, some kind of anti-itching powder may do the trick for you.
[i]"The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress."
"He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery."