What has your GI recommended to you? Are you on any meds? Has the urgency gotten worse over time?
Are you receptive to inquiring with another GI for a second opinion? It never hurts to get a 2nd, especially if you feel that the first is off base. I certainly wouldn't hesitate given the lack of sympathy. Most GI's have never had the symptoms so are pretty clueless how it really "feels" to us. Are you in a location that has more than one GI to choose from?
If your quality of life is poor, and it sounds as if it is, you can opt for surgery. I had the j-pouch surgery 7 years ago due to UC. I have never regretted my decision, surgery gave me my life back. I encourage you to visit www.j-pouch.org The site is helpful for anyone considering either a j-pouch, k-pouch, or permanent ostomy. Most people there had the surgery for UC so you will be in good company.