Prednisone is ruining my relationship

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JM22
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/28/2012 10:35 AM (GMT -6)   
So my gf has UC for about 6 years now and had been in remission for 3 years. In November of this past year (2011) she started getting symptoms again and was in terrible pain. Long story short, after trying everything she decided to go back on prednisone as it had helped her in the past.

She warned me that she could change, that it could effect her mood and that maybe we shouldn't spend as much time together while she was on it. She is being weaned from 7 pills down for 6 weeks (Not sure of the dosage, but I know it's over 10mg). It's not been about 2.5 weeks since she's been on it and things are starting to get bad (They were fine the first week or so).

She's starting to get very short with me, not as talkative, sex drive is down and we just haven't been enjoying each others company like we always have. Let me say that this is the girl of my dreams, this is a girl that I've had the best relationship with ever until this.

She's been telling me that maybe we should take a break until after she's off the steroid, but I don't want that. I want to stand by her side and help her through this. The other side of the coin is that I don't want the way she's been treating me to do too much damage to the point where it ruins us.

I am 30 years old and very strong willed. I know I can handle being with her through this, but I just don't know what to do.

Can anyone help?

Michelejc
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 1207
   Posted 3/28/2012 10:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Give her the space she needs but tell her you will be there for her, whenever she is ready. Call her to check in every day. Send her flowers with a supportive note once a week. That will let her know you are not going anywhere but you are giving her the space she needs right now.
MODERATOR-UC FORUM
53, female - diagnosed with ulcerated proctitis/mild colitis
Canasa - stopped for now
Lialda - once a day
Zocor - 40 mg
Acidophilus
Boniva - once a month
Calcium with Vitamin D
Glucosamine
Magnesium
B-Complex
CO Q-10
Herbs -
Valerian - when needed for sleep
Horsetail, RedYeastRice, St. John's Wort, Turmeric, Cinnamon, Echinacea, Alfalfa, Parsley, Ginseng

sherbear46
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 2688
   Posted 3/28/2012 10:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Its good to hear that you want to stand by her. Pred is a very nasty drug. My poor family while I was on it. I did feel for them because I was way worse than any PMS epidsode. With that said, she worries that she may say something she will regret. You don't want this to ruin your relationship. This is not something she can control and if it is making her feel better then its definetly something she needs to take. I agree with Michelejc-give her a little space but keep in contact. Do something nice for her etc. And if you feel this person may be the one for you, know that she may need to take it again in the future.
Co-Moderator UC

Sheri-39 years old

Diagnosed April 2009-suffered over a year prior to diagnosis

Currently taking Lialda 2 tabs in am, Protonix 40mg every day, Allegra, Zyrtec, Probiotics, Vitamin D3, Melatonin and Rowasa enema once a week.

Currently in Remission since June 2011. I seem to flare yearly Dec/Jan time frame. Hoping this winter to be different since I'm not working.

bananagirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4486
   Posted 3/28/2012 11:27 AM (GMT -6)   
just be supportive. it's a very hard disease to live with and even though she is being short with you, it's really her disease talking. it's hard to control the pain and you just get very angry about it. when i was on prednisone, it really changed my mind and mood. i was very anxiety ridden and easily irritated. in the hospital, i told me grandma to "eff" off.

it's good that you wanna stick by her. i don't know if i could put somebody through this so i'll probably be single forever.
Joanna, 22
current meds: flagyl for 10 days and then hopefully doing fecal transplant! also have some LDN as a backup plan if fecal transplant doens't help
things i've tried- canasa supps, prednisone, 6mp, remicade, rowasa, lialda, cortico enemas, l-glutamine, vit e enema, VSL enema, aloe vera juice, slippery elm, n-acytel glucosamine

WIMOMOFTHREE
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 654
   Posted 3/28/2012 12:22 PM (GMT -6)   
 My husband can sympathize with you. lol I have been on pred now since the end of Jan and every time I am on it I go off about everything.  Everything irritates me and I am so anxious it is crazy.  Everything has to be perfect and everyone and everything pisses me off.  My husband ignores most of it.  He doesn't like it but 9 times out of 10 he just keeps his mouth shut.  He knows if he says anything back to me it will just make it worse because I will really go off.  I apologize all the time and i feel horrible to him and my kids because I go off all day long.  I hate it but I need to be on it right now.  I will be on it until the middle of May and it sucks.  Just stick by her and try to blow it off and know that it isn't her.  I usually don't act like this and it was funny when I had my scope and the doctor told me I had to go on the pred my husband said oh great the crazy drug and the doctor said what does she go crazy and he was like oh yeah she goes off.  He just laughs it off.  I know it is hard for him sometimes because he will say god you are always b....ing at me.  I told him I can't help it and I can't.  I try to not get so mad and upset but you just can't stop.  Know that she feels bad and we don't like to be like that either.  It is hard to live with a chronic diesese.  You sound like a great guy.  Most wouldn't won't to put up with UC at all.  Good luck. 
On remicade since July 2009, Upped my dose in August 2010 to 7.5kg
Currently taking:Calcium Citrate, Vitamin D and Vitamin B12 shot(monthly, myself), Zinc, Magnesium, Zyrtex, Prilosec, Fish Oil, Levothyroxine, and a Multi Chewable Vitamin
Had a scope on 1-12 and I am getting bad again,severe and moderate active uc throughout my whole colon. Will probably have to go off of remicade.Will know soon

JM22
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/28/2012 12:31 PM (GMT -6)   
I really want to thank everyone who has replied so far, it really is making me feel better. You have NO IDEA :-)

My GF is really an amazing woman in so many ways. I will stand by her through anything and just want to help her get through this. It breaks my heart that he has to go through this it really does. I just want her to get better so she can stop being in pain, and get her mind back. I really don't care how it effects me, I really just care about her.

I have been in a caregiving situation before as my bother had passed away after battling colon cancer. I had helped care for him for over 18 months and saw things that will be in bedded in my brain for the rest of my life. I am no stranger to disease.

curl3d
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 366
   Posted 3/28/2012 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
I was a real b1tch when I went from 40 to 30 mg prednisone, I told my mother to shut the f*k up which I have never done before. Even tho I realize its hard, try to keep the effects of the prednisone in mind, it will pass over time as she gets out of the medicine

curl3d
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 366
   Posted 3/28/2012 2:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Just wanted to add to my previous post;

Even tho you know where your partners bad mood is coming from, I still think she should apologize for anything she says or does which is wrong to you later when she can reflect on what she has said or done. Being on medicine is not an excuse to treat other people badly without apologizing. You are also an individual who deserve your own respect. I apologized to my mother as good as I could for the stuff that I said.

Maintaining respect for each other is important even in tough times.

46&crashing
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 482
   Posted 3/28/2012 2:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been on 40 mg since September.  I asked my 17 yr old son the other day if he had seen any change in me.  He said that it seemed like I realize the drug makes me crazy so I hold it in (often during times I shouldn't) until something finally makes me snap.  When I snap, he said I really really go off.
 
He said besides that and my crazy dessert cooking fetish that has been going on since Prednisone, he thought I was pretty much the same. (Yes... I tend to want to bake desserts at weird times of the evening for no apparent reason. )
 
Best advice is what has already been given... give her space and just go with her flow.  If she wants to bake, let her bake.  If she wants to be alone, leave her alone.  Old school Tae bo (sort of like kickboxing) has been wonderful for me.... I get to throw punches and kicks to relieve agression! And for heaven's sake.... Do NOT ask her every 5 minutes if she is okay or feeling alright.  My hubby does that everytime he sees me and everytime I come out of the bathroom.  It is sooooo annoying!
DX: May 2011
Current meds: Imuran 75mg
Also on Prednisone 40 mg daily since 9/16 (can't get a successful taper that's why I had to start Imuran on 3/23)
L-Glutamine
Slippery Elm- 1 tsp 2 times daily
VSL#3 nightly

Was taking 3 Lialda daily since 9/11, but not much help. Stopped 3/23
And this too shall pass!

nightside of eden
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 520
   Posted 3/28/2012 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   
see if she can get some xanex or klonopin....it evens me out big time

sherbear46
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 2688
   Posted 3/28/2012 4:42 PM (GMT -6)   
40&crashing-I didn't think there was a bad time to make desserts? ;)

Sorry OT I know...can you tell I'm still dieting? UGH
Co-Moderator UC

Sheri-39 years old

Diagnosed April 2009-suffered over a year prior to diagnosis

Currently taking Lialda 2 tabs in am, Protonix 40mg every day, Allegra, Zyrtec, Probiotics, Vitamin D3, Melatonin and Rowasa enema once a week.

Currently in Remission since June 2011. I seem to flare yearly Dec/Jan time frame. Hoping this winter to be different since I'm not working.

Serenity Now
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1509
   Posted 3/28/2012 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Sherbear.... That was the same thought I had (and for the same reason)! I don't need to be on pred to have a craving to do some baking... Sigh.
Female, 45, Vancouver BC
Currently in remission

Guategirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 250
   Posted 3/28/2012 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree w WiMom. I was the same, the smallest thing would drive me crazy, yelling at the kids all the time, apologizing afterwards. My husband and I didn't realize what was going on at first. Then it was a compromise between him not taking anything seriously, and me trying my hardest to control myself.

We all have different ways of dealing with this disease, however I'm concerned about your gf request for you to stay away. Isolating herself isn't realistic. Sometimes it takes months of pred to see effects. Are you going to wait for her for months? What happens the next flare?

Amongst all the crabbyness I also had good days where I felt normal and my husband was reminded of who I really was and that this wasn't going to last forever. If he hadn't been with me every day, living through it, he wouldn't have been reminded of this.

Congrats for wanting to stick it out with your girlfriend. It sounds like she's found a true gem. I hope you all can work something out, and I wish her the speediest recovery.
38 y/o female
Flaring, finally improving with Remicade
Diagnosed UC April 2010
Lialda 2
Remicade, Inmuran, Ultimate Flora probiotic



I have FAITH this too shall pass!

ManhattanMama
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 3/28/2012 8:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes I do want to isolate myself for a few hours just to get a grip and pull myself together. It is okay to ask for a personal 'timeout' when you know you need one. I think your girlfriend may be trying to protect you from her wrath. She may be feeling guilty for treating you so poorly and that is why she is asking for the extra space.

I have had a terrible short fuse over the last week while I have been tapering and sometimes I think it is just safer if my husband and the kids are not around. I make sure to apologize and when I feel better I make a point to being extra loving to everyone. This is a crazy drug that can make you feel even crazier. My husband even says, "I know, it's the medicine," but this does not make it easier for him. We are learning to laugh about it and be more forgiving of each other.

Try to see through the crabbiness and show your girlfriend that you want to see her through this. She is lucky to have you.
Dx with Pancolitis in May 2005, Severe Proctitis Jan 2012
Maintenance Plan: 2 Colazal three times a day
Vitamin C, Probiotic, Multivitamin, Fish Oil, Folic Acid
Treatment during Flare-Up : Cortifoam, Mesalamine Enemas & Prednisone (40mg & taper) increase Probiotics
Other Supplements: L-Glutamine with almond milk, Peppermint Tea & honey with Chia Seeds
Mother of 2

JM22
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/2/2012 10:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Update: We've had a much better time of it since Wed. Things are def looking up. Thanks again everyone.

Michelejc
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 1207
   Posted 4/2/2012 5:30 PM (GMT -6)   
We are here for you. I'm glad things are looking up!
MODERATOR-UC FORUM
53, female - diagnosed with ulcerated proctitis/mild colitis
Canasa - stopped for now
Lialda - once a day
Zocor - 40 mg
Acidophilus
Boniva - once a month
Calcium with Vitamin D
Glucosamine
Magnesium
B-Complex
CO Q-10
Herbs -
Valerian - when needed for sleep
Horsetail, RedYeastRice, St. John's Wort, Turmeric, Cinnamon, Echinacea, Alfalfa, Parsley, Ginseng

JM22
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/2/2012 6:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you very much, you helped me a lot during a really tough stretch. She's apologized a lot and is really trying to make things right.
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