I am sure lots of people can identify with what I am going thru...I just need to hear from anyone before I explode and say something horrible to my dad, who is my mother's caregiver.
My mother is in early stages of alzheimers. My dad is the most negative man I have ever met. My brother and I live 3000 miles away and my sister lives near my mom and dad. My dad is the most negative man I have ever met...oh yeah, I will probably be saying that alot!!!!!
I was just visiting them for Xmas and before I left we all met with the doctor and nurse at this big Alzheimer's Center. The nurse and the doctor told my dad that he needs to join a support group. He needs help. He is making my mother worse. He nodded and agreed that some changes have to be made. Unfortunately, he isn't in that place to make those changes. Doesn't like to, won't listen to anyone, never answers your questions with a straight answer...all he does is vent, complain, *****, moan and says, "you don't know what its like, you're not living with her". He won't change, adapt or accept.
When we agree and try to encourage him to get help, join a support group and just make a list for himself of things to do and then prioritize them, so he is not so overwhelmed...he just ignores our suggestions and goes on *****ing and moaning. I just had a conversation with him. It was horrible.
I am angry with his lack of dealing with what is going on with my mother.
HOW DARE HE!!!???...but then again, he has always been this way.
I try not to react emotionally. I know its going to just get me into trouble. I just don't want to resent him and be so angry with him that I can't talk to him. Oye Vey....