Lynn ????? How is your Dad?

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AlwaysRosie
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   Posted 1/11/2008 2:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Lynn . . .

Popped over to see how things are in AD world.

Wondered how your dad is doing, as I noticed the post in mod forum that he had fallen. I know he is back home, but wondered how things are going for him and how you are holding up.

The holidays are nice . . . but I'm always in much need of rest thereafter and am enjoying a second day in a row of peace and quiet. I hope you aren't overdoing!! and was hoping that your dad is healing well.

Sending you a grand pot of tea sis!!! Enough for you and your family!!

Blessings!

Howlyncat
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   Posted 1/11/2008 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the TEA sis never a better day than today but then you always know dont ya .......Dad is okay not great but okay and we muddle along day by day ..trying to get thru this yucky weather we are having .I have to watch him more closely now .kinda scary but I know that he is in there looking out ya know .........Talk later sis
Be good and Lovely tea.......... ta

Luvs
Sis
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AlwaysRosie
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   Posted 1/11/2008 5:47 PM (GMT -7)   
(((((((Lyn))))))))

So sorry you are back in this with your dad now. Its hard enough to watch one parent sucked into the vortex . . . let alone a second. *sigh* I feel so blue for you sis. Sending you big hugs and well wishes for you and your dad.

Love ya Lyn!!

Blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

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tinybit
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 120
   Posted 1/12/2008 4:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear LYN, you are such a stronge lady. i'm sorry about your Dad. wish your weather wasn't so yucky. i just wanted to let you know i care about you and your Dad. hang in there my friend.
tiny


Howlyncat
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   Posted 1/12/2008 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Tiny
How is your Momma doing sweetie you file that complaint??
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 2/14/2008 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Dad is resting on the couch for a few.snuck down to do a few threads....am so exhausted but a good tired ya know
Huggs to all

God Bless
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns
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AlwaysRosie
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   Posted 2/14/2008 8:30 AM (GMT -7)   
(((((((((((Lynn)))))))))))) I'm thinking about you a lot!! Don't worry about the forums sis . . . take a nap!!

Blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

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Howlyncat
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   Posted 2/16/2008 5:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Had a couple days away from boards but ya know they draw ya back lol
Dad is still sleeping morphine is kicking butt especially the amount am calling the doc personally I think it is to much but I dont want him in pain either ya know ......

Other than that doing alot of hibernating due to weather and dad sis was going to take him so I could have a break but she had to admit she was not able to handle him as he is .I am proud of her for being honest about it all

No other family have been here but her.....nor called.......
Thanks for your ongoing support and love sis

God Bless
Sis
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 2/22/2008 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
How ya doing sis
Missing you so...........

Love and God Bless
Sis
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         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns
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AlwaysRosie
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   Posted 3/2/2008 2:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Lynn . . . sorry to learn you've had pneumonia and not well. Urghhhh!!! One more thing to deal with!! I guess its God's way of getting you to rest a bit more. LOL

I'm sorry I'm just now catching up . . . just got back from a nice long vacation on the Riveria Maya (the Gulf side of Mexico about 1 1/2 hours below Cancun. Had a blast and rested a LOT!!

I hope your dad is resting comfortably. Take care of yourself sis.

Blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

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Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/2/2008 3:04 PM (GMT -7)   
HI ya sis
I still have it and I hope that Wed when I see the doc I get the go ahead to have dad back home I was not able to keep him here with me being that sick and I was in rough shape
Getting beter daily

Love ya and thanks for asking

God Bless
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
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AlwaysRosie
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   Posted 3/2/2008 7:31 PM (GMT -7)   
(((((((((((( Lynn )))))))))))))))) Get well quick sis. Rest, rest, rest. Your dad is in God's arms. I'll be watching for news when you are up to posting again.

Prayers, hugs and blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

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Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/3/2008 8:12 AM (GMT -7)   
YOu take care too plz and I am getting better I swear ....
God Bless ya sis
Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns
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SnowyLynne
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   Posted 3/3/2008 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Dr said I could try to be off 02 for a week.I made it 2 days then back on.I just can't do much & not use 02.......In time maybe............
SnowyLynne


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 3/6/2008 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
OHH Snowy I am so sorry
I wish you all the best
My thoughts and prayers are with you
I am or wasnt as bad as you thats for sure
Rest .........and lotsa fluids if you can tolerate

Keep us posted
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/18/2008 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Dad is not doing good at all
I am going to email you Padraig and Linda as well as Mary about it all ....
I am kinda in a stump with Moms death of 2 yrs( God it seems like yesterday) right now
Loves ya
Blessings sis
Have a safe and Happy Easter
God Bless
From my house to yours........
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
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AlwaysRosie
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   Posted 3/18/2008 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
*sigh* *sigh* oh dear . . . so difficult for you sis. ((((((((((( Lynn )))))))))))

Prayers and blessings . . . You are in my thoughts and prayers . . . lots.

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum

UCTD, Hashimotos, Inflammatory Bowel, Inflammatory Arthritis

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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 3/19/2008 4:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks my sweet sis
I need all the Blessings and tea I can get right now
It has to be Rosie 's tea though none other works .........
Have a great Easter.......a hug for your mom and you .....
God Bless
Sis


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/19/2008 7:07 AM (GMT -7)   
sad  While I was sick ( very) with Pnuemo I had to have dad put into hospital ......I could no longer look after him and did not want him to catch this either
 
I SPECIFICALLY had on Kardex a DNR in case something happened.......
Something happened alright ......my sister basically pulled the same crud as Mary's hubby's kids but to a different tune
Dad had to go on life support ......NOT SUPPOSED to have been..... but she overode all I have done even with POA here in Canada the Bio kids speak louder I guess NOT the ones that have had their heart and souls in their parents lives for over 10 yrs .........she is only bio of Dads......he is agaist machinary and tubes keeping him alive ..I know this from the past talks we had before he got sick...I was not told of this TILL after the fact and a couple of days later..........He is literally being kept alive by what he didnt ever want BUT how would she know this ..
NEVER have I felt so angry, so bitter and so hurt ...I wanted to well suffice it to say..I felt violently angry 
 
Dad has been in my life since I was 8 he is was my dad friend and hero .......
Because his blood does not run thru my veins does that make me any less a daughter..NO it doesnt but my sister thinks so and thinks this is best for him........
I have cut off contact with her and this is because Lawyers have made it to be this way for whatever reasons they have they are the professionals here (PRIOR TO being told by lawyers)
I have told her under no circumstances will I STAND for this I am in procedures with lawyers and all of the whole shebang.......I know he wants to be with mom..I know because I have been THE ONLY one to look after him and Mom until her death as you's know.....
I also told her when they finally do come and they will to ask about taking him off life support ........I WILL not pull the plug she did this she can do that .........AM I wrong??
Anyways I will keep you updated......tomorrow is the anniversary of Mom's death 2 yrs ago and Monday ( past) was the anni of first hubby's death .........
Like I said I am a broken spirit ...I feel as though my dad has been ripped away from me ......I feel like he has been Violated......It was his wishes yrs ago to me for no DNR
 
Take care all and I thank each of you for all the support love and caring you have shown me thru all of this these last months and months
God gives us Angels and each of you are definitely my "Angels"........
God BLess...
.LYN
  sad


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 3/19/2008 8:10:49 AM (GMT-6)


surviveandthrive
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 3/19/2008 3:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Lyn,
I am so sorrowfully sorry to hear all this!! I had no idea it was this bad. I just finished posting on the other site, a long bit of it to you about this whole biological thing. When you have time or energy, you can read it. As an adopted child I know as well that blood is not the tie that binds us. My parents were my parents, my only parents, and even in their deaths now they remain my parents.
My mom's anniversary of her death was on the 15th. Yes, I empathize with that feeling. It brought up sad memories, happy ones, but eventually ones that I just plain miss her.
As for what your family is doing in revoking your POA, I am stunned and saddened. I know little about the law, just enough to find out how badly I was messed over in my divorce and what I have found out in the interim about what I could have done to prevent it. I know more than I thought I would ever have to know about POA, estates, assets, attempted revocation of POA etc. When sister 3, my younger sister, decided to play a part in the care of mom and dad, literally days before each died, she made every attempt possible to revoke all my responsibilities and promises made to mom and dad, especially the ones having to do with the way in which they chose to die, without being held to life by machines. I was a bulldog, had locks changed on the doors, took out restraining orders and phone harrassment charges, anything to keep her away. Fortunately she didn't act soon enough so I was able to honor mom and dad's wishes 100%. Will I ever forgive her for trying to revoke my duties so mom and dad would live long enough for her to attempt to gain a hold on their financial status? Eventually I will, because it is in my nature to forgive. Will I ever forget? Never. The climate of our sisterhood changed drastically and I don't see it ever being the same again, nor do I really want it. She showed her true colors at a time that was inappropriate, in a way that would cause mom and dad suffering and would have relegated them to possibly months hooked up to machines in a hospital. She thought only of herself, something our parents never did. I had to hire lawyers at a time when money was being protected should mom or dad need it. I had to hire lawyers at a time when I should have been allowed to spend every moment with mom and dad. I was fortunate to find an attorney who believed in the fight, who knew both mom and dad, the history of instability and acts of violence by my sister, and was willing to work with me without requiring much of my time. He knew the situation, the law was on my side as far as the POA, and he became my watchdog, keeping my sister and her slimy attorneys away from the house and off my phones. I was able to put those worries aside and be with both mom and dad, allowing them to die in their own time, in the way in which they had always wanted. To this day my sister holds onto that anger, but it is only her that is being hurt by that. She can't hurt me anymore.
I hope desperately that you can find an ally in a good attorney who can see the facts as they are, restore the power to act on your dad's behalf back to you, and give you, and your dad, some peace in this final time.
Sending prayers, wishes, thoughts, and love your way.
Linda
Thinking of you,
Linda
**********************************************************************************


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 3/19/2008 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Linda I read the post .I know you know how I feel ...you have that abilility always have.........
Like I said it does not matter that it is not dads blood that runs thru these veins it is the dad the friend and the hero he will and alwasy has been to me
NO I will never forget what she has done either .I too will forgive BUT it wont be for a long while yet I am so raw with emotion over this .......
What gets me the most is this: she knew I HAD to put dad in hospital promised me she would check on him and then WHAM a couple of days later I find out he is on life suport and it was on the kardex and his chart that no resuitation was to be tried .........WHY would I let him come back to life full of cancer and it eating him away ........
I cry literally at the drop of a hat when I think of what she really has thoughts of and the distance she will go to hurt me whilst in the interrim she is not only hurting me she is hurting dad ..........
Thanks my friend for your support and love thru all of this
I am already worried that he will stop again tonight have had this dang dream he is going home on the day Mom died ...tomorrow ........
I have been trying to have an injuction put in where the DNR will stand and like I said I know the time will come when they will want the bed and he will have to be pulled from machines......SHE can do it .I will not ....That may sound harh but I think she needs to be taught a life lesson thru this .........I had told her Dad did not want to be reliable on machines I was ignored obviously
Such is the life ......A journey I have yet t get to the finish line ......your support and words are alwasy a comfort to me my friend...Thank you .......Love and God Bless all that are true sons and daughters no matter what blood is in their veins .......LYN.
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surviveandthrive
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Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 3/19/2008 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lyn,
It seems we are missing each other on the forum. I write before I know all the facts, read the new posts and respond, just as you are responding to my response! Must mean we are with each other in some way.
I know how horribly painful this is. We are never prepared, even though in our brain we know what is happening. Our hearts don't operate that way, though.
I know you have never asked for recognition for doing what you have done for your mom and now your dad. I think that to the outside world, others have no idea of what we do in order to give this quality of care and love to our family. I can admit now, and at the time, that it most certainly was an emotionally and physically challenging time. Years away from the rest of my family, relocating to unfamiliar city, leaving friends behind, leaving teaching, losing my income, losing my mind at times:-), physical labors of lifting etc. which eventually wore down parts of the body not meant for that kind of labor, and the ensuing surgeries to repair those injuries.
The most important thing I will remember, though, is not all of that. It is the feeling I had when I had Mom tucked in for the night, getting a small kiss and huge smile, giving Dad some small before bedtime snack and watching the news with him before seeing him off to bed to join mom, with "I Love You" being the last words we spoke to each other each night. . It was that feeling that I was able to be with them, not for the thank you's, not for the admiration or recognition, but for the healing of my heart, a heart that had been so horribly broken just a year before moving to care for mom and dad. Surrounded once again by their love, as when a child, was such a comfort. Mom may not have known me for a good part of that time, but she was still maternal, still knew how to comfort a child. To her I was at times a very nice lady, at times a friend who came to visit often, but on some occasions I was her little girl again, just as she had become my little girl.
After Mom was gone I had no time to truly grieve because Dad was suffering so. The heart broken by the man I had loved for 30 years and abandoned by him like a thief in the night was a heartbreak I thought would hurt forever. Seeing my dad and the way he was as his heart was broken from losing his wife of nearly 60 years was at times unbearable. He had been there for me when I was first deserted by the man even he had come to love over all the years. Dad drove the 8 hours, with mom, to let me cry on his shoulder huddled on the couch, hour after hour. Eventually he had to play the dad and forced me to pick myself up and start putting a life together, as hard as he knew it was. He was with me every step of the way. Unbeknownst at the time, he was sitting in the downstairs lobby of the courtroom the day of my divorce hearing and was the first face I saw when I came out of that courtroom drained of all emotion, sobbing, bewildered how my life had changed so without me knowing it. Again he had driven with mom those 8 hours to be my rock yet again.
There was no way I was going to let down the dad who never let me down. And he did not do it for recognition, for admiration, although he certainly deserved it. He did it because he loved me and that is the only reason, the simple reason, for me choosing to care for him and for mom their last several years. The years of love and support from mom, before Alzheimer's robbed her of precious time and memory, are years I treasure. She was a strict Scot, as she called herself, but always, always, my safe place to be at the end of every day.
Losing that is a loss we are not really meant to bear, I don't think. Loss reminds us of what it is we did lose, all those wonderful things that make us miss those who have passed. We bear it because we have to, but the grief really stays on, the intensity of it changing on and off, good days and better days as well as sad and seemingly unbearable days. But at the end of every day, I know I was loved. At the end of every day I know that I loved.
I want you to have that peace, my friend. I will hope it finds you.
fondly,
linda
Thinking of you,
Linda
**********************************************************************************


AlwaysRosie
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 3/19/2008 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   
OH NO! Lyn . . . I'm SO sorry!

Please know that God holds your dad in his arms with tender care. God is still in charge here sis. We can't see it . . . but you know it.

Father God . . . please hold this special man in your mighty arms and allow him to see the love that his Creator has for him. Please comfort our dear friend and sister Lyn. It will be in Your time, Father, that this special man passes from this life into eternity. In Jesus' most precious name. Amen

Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/20/2008 4:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Linda.....I do know I am loved and was loved by mom too
My memories are somewhat simuliar reading to dad and having the gardens with mom and special smiles of thanks from her heart and eyes.........

Yes I have lost my mind many a time too LOL but I never once really had the need to complain I was doing what I WANTED to do .......just as you my friend........

I awoke this am at 1:17 i believe Mom was in the room in all sincerity telling me it is okay dad will be with her soon and he will be out of the pain he is in and up there with her.........holding hands and smiling down on us ...........I said a prayer at her time of death this am .......I am somewhat more at peace......
God Bless you for being you Linda........And for your neverending support and wisdom.....Luvs...LYN


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/20/2008 4:41 AM (GMT -7)   
YES my sis Rosie
I didnt or could not bring self to post when this all came about I was so bitter and angry at my sister.......

I DO know he is in HIS arms and he will go when HE wants him I just know Dad did not want machines keeping him here ya know

Will keep you all posted on the injuction and lawyers particiaption as well as what is going on
I cannot keep it in anymore ......I was becoming so depressed and so withdrawn

Loves to you my sis
God bless


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 3/24/2008 11:58:03 AM (GMT-6)

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