New to this room but in the Crones disease room

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tiaeight
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 10/5/2008 11:47 PM (GMT -7)   
My grandmother just passed away.  I flew back the next day because my mother was taking care of her.  All of the sudden I realize and am told, that mom is in the first stages of tAlzeheimers. I see it it now.  i am out of state and she wants to stay in her home that her father built.  She calls me time after time, sometimes 9 times in a row, to repeat what she just said.  I know that I need to go and take care of her and the home but yet, she doesn't want to leave.  How can I take her away from what she has always known?  And the worst part is, I am in gaming.  Every person that I see that is older than70, I wonder "why my mother?"....Will this happen to me?  Thanks..Just wanted to vent...Just hating life.....

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/7/2008 2:04 PM (GMT -7)   
HI Tia
I know you from CD forum
I am so sorry about your GMA
I have lost both Mom and dad 
in the last 2 yrs to this DD
I despise it so

There some risks involved but you would need to go have an appointment with a Geneaologist
I have high doubts this will be your end my friend

I know it is hard when your parent has it believe me
'I looked after both mine
I will bump up some threads for you okay and if you need to talk email me

LYN


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 10/15/2008 12:29:24 PM (GMT-6)


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 10/15/2008 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi tia; I came when my Dad called me for help with my stepmother, who has kidney disease, two xmas's ago. I knew my Dad was repeating himself a lot but I didn't make the connection. He and she were very isolated and I just thought maybe he didn't have a lot of news to talk about, so, he was telling the same story over and over. Once I was here, I realised, he had dementia, most likely Alzheimers because his mother passed away from it merely 5 years previously. I was very hands on in her care so it was easy to spot. I don't know if I knew then what I know now, about giving my life over to care for a parent with Alzheimers, that I would have. I am in it now, up to my eyeballs, none of the other sibs want anything to do with us, or caring for my Dad and I'm stuck. It is making me ill. The stress is unbelievable. I was a single mom, raised two boys in a rough part of town, have several stress related illnesses, worked three jobs, one fulltime , two part time, almost lost my youngest to gang activity and am in worse condition now, here, trying to look after my Dad, Stage II Alzheimers, than any other time in my life. I have been homeless, lived out of my car. Worked the dirtiest of all jobs, recycling plants, sorting garbage, cleaning toilets in the park, I'm sorry, that was hard, but there was an end in sight. No end in sight here. No support from family. Total isolation. Constant stress. Negativity galore. Think about it before you do it. The person I am now caring for is not my Dad. I don't know where my Dad went and who this miserable, mean, vindictive person is. I am stuck. Short of taking him to an emergency room and refusing to take him home again, is the only way out. I can't do that. I don't know what to do. My children, now grown and doing well, say, mom, yes, putting him in a nursing home may shorten his life. But is it worth losing your life over? Think.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/15/2008 11:33 AM (GMT -7)   
.NO one but you my friend can tell you the right thing to do
It is so hard when your parents change from day to day
I know all to well

I know you are exhausted and feel alone
WE are here for support at all times

Its a hard but I found it a "gift" actually to spend the time with them
I had Cait to spell me off at times too
Dad did not develop the AD or stages till about a yr after Mom passed and he was full of cancer as well


I truly miss them both ...........
Take care and keep us posted plz
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/15/2008 11:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Tiamaria

Just wondering how you are making out
Have you read threads I bumped up for you ??

Be well and post plz and let us know how things are going
You are family here on HW

Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 10/16/2008 1:07 AM (GMT -7)   
I realise every relationship is different. I might have een being a bit oveprotective. I have a friend with Crones, and several aquaintances and know how debilitating that disease is. However, I also realise every Alzheimer's patient is different, my Gramma was delightful, right up until the end, she was like a little girl dancing around with her "baby"a little doll, a joy to care for. My Dad however fights me every step of the way. Every little change that happens somehow ends up with us 'locking horns"and when he gets his horns out, lookout, It's scarey. I should not tell others what to do.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/22/2008 4:02 AM (GMT -7)   
So right all relationships are different and so are our loved ones with this DD



Thanks for posting and keeping us in the loop
Plz do continue to do so

Take care
LYN


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
                                   ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
    Listen To Your Heart, Look Inside Yourself, Understand You ! 
 

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 11/5/2008 5:20:47 AM (GMT-7)


tiaeight
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 11/2/2008 10:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone.  I drove to Colorado to see her last week.  She was so excited to show me that the house was clean and that she had groceries.  Almost like she was trying to pass a test.  So child like and so fun.  I took her to the mountains and she loved it!!!!  I just don't want her to forget her family.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/3/2008 4:57 AM (GMT -7)   
.......TIA

You are a great person and a special Daughter..........
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
    We Have Anxiety / Panic ..Anxiety / Panic DO NOT have US 
 You have To Have Some Laughter as Well as Those Tears IMHO         
 
    
 
 
 
                    


tiaeight
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 11/3/2008 11:31 PM (GMT -7)   

tyno3

It's very hard isn't it?  Don't you just get angry and hate life?  I have certainly paid my dues and to have to watch a parent go through this is the ultimate punishment.  I don't know if I am angry, hurt or confused.  I don't even know whether it is my mothers punishment or mine.  It can't be hers because she is always so kind and caring.  Me, on the other hand, maybe through some of the crappy choices I made in my life, it is mine.  I just hate it.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/5/2008 5:23 AM (GMT -7)   
tiamarie

It is NOT a punishment for you

I am so sorry you feel this way

I have alot of anger but I am trying to work thru it

THIS darn disease that robs us of our loved ones really is a spiteful and GREEDY disease

I wish you all the best
Know we are here for you if thats any help k

,,,,,,,,,,,,LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
                                   ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
    Listen To Your Heart, Look Inside Yourself, Understand You ! 
 

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