In His Grip
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"
Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum
UCTD, Inflammatory Arthritis, Diverticulosis, (recent dx - Sjogrens, Crohn’s 4/08)
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Thank-you, all. The bit about "wishing to get into their head to know what's going on," is so compelling. For example, this morning, my Dad started off as usual, got his toast and coffee, watched the news. then as I was trying to get dressed to take the dogs out, he got so clingy, I wanted to scream. He's a big man, he's standing in the entranceway, while two good size dogs and I are trying to get coated and gloved up to go out. I asked if he were coming?, no, he just wanted the temperture outside. I said, well, the TV is on, it's on the morning news, ok, allright, he says and just stands there watching me. Finally I had to say, "Dad, I need you to move inside so I can get dressed to go out". He moved about six inches inside. Like a bounce sheet in the dryer. Just stuck there.
When we did get out, he went back in and sat in his chair watching news. I happened to go into the basement, for something from outside, there were eight light bulbs burning in the basement, through-out the night. I thought about it a bit, then mentioned to him about needing to turn lights off behind himself when he goes down to check the basement door in the evening, to see if it's locked. I always do lock it, but he has to recheck, everything. It's getting so I feel like I have to follow him around, watching what his every move will be. We cannot afford to leave eight lights burning all night. So I debated saying anything, decided it was probably best to mention it, just matter of factly, maybe it would stick. He got really bent out of shape. His wife (from the nursing home) had called and left a message for him to call her. I said, your wife called, she wants you to call her back. He stands up, says; "that's it. I'm going in to lie down" Into his bedroom he went. I don't know if telling him things like that is worth the hassel. But then if the electricity bill is sky high, that has to come out of our food and trans money. He was late going to bed last night, I'd gone in ahead of him, I don't want to tell him, "go to bed". So, I just wait till I think he's gone in and go out and turn TV off, lights upstairs, check burners, etc. etc. I guess I'm going to have to start checking the whole house after he goes to bed, even if he isn't tired at 10:00 PM, I am. Plus, I'm the one up at 5:30 AM to get little dog out. What to do, tell him things that are important, or stay up half the night waiting for him to go to bed so I can double check, everything. This is getting more prison like by the day.
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 11/7/2008 4:07:29 PM (GMT-7)
I'm confused. You said it's your house but then you ended off saying you'll be homeless after this ordeal. Please explain. In the meantime I totally can relate to your previous posting about rushing to get your errands done and basically have zero social life. I go straight home after work and time myself each day to see if I can make the 30 minute timeline I allow myself each day. Once the red light at a busy intersection took 5 minutes to change and I started to freak out.
I thank the stars that it's my mom that I watch and not my father and she's got a very gentle demeanor. I feel so badly for you for what you have to go through. Please take care and whatever happens you know you tried your best and now it's your own safety you have to worry about.