Reality, fantasy or memories?

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Red_34
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Date Joined Apr 2004
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   Posted 11/12/2008 8:28 AM (GMT -6)   
I sometimes get weird phone calls from my gma or she will tell me something totally off the wall.  But how can you tell what is real and what isn't??  For instance, she said that some guy was trying to get into her room the other day and it scared her to death because he was on a motorcycle.  Now that in itself sounds strange of course considering that she has a room that is on the inside of the building.  But it's like trying to decipher what she is saying because to her a wheelchair is a bicycle.  So I'm thinking the motorcycle could be another way of her saying it was a wheelchair as well.  She is very paranoid and constantly locks her door and has even locked herself out on occasion.  She has even told me that they don't feed her there and even called up her best friend (from another state) and said they don't feed her.  I KNOW they feed her but trying to tell her that in the evening they don't give her as much because she has severe intestinal issues that too much food will cause her to have diarrhea all night.  All your life you are taught to listen to your elders and it is so hard to NOT to listen to some of the strange things she tells me without getting wrapped up in it.  Sorry this post is little all over the place today.  I'm not feeling very well but I just wanted to ask - how can you tell what is fantasy, memory or reality?
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AlwaysRosie
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   Posted 11/12/2008 8:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Red,

Your right it IS hard to tell. The motorcycle could be someone coming into her room with cart on wheels.

My dad was telling a story about "remember when we went to the hospital and you go downstairs to the big refrigerator?" Everyone in the room looked at each other like he was nuts . . . but I looked at him and said "yes . . . the morgue" . . . Dad used to own an ambulance service and they would go to the morgue at the hospital to pick up folks who had passed-on and take them to the funeral home. So he was just chatting about the old days.

I understand your concern because when you are talking to gma on the phone there is more guilt involved. You feel like she might need you there.

I used to ask Dad if he had a pen. If your gma still uses pen and paper (even if she loses it), ask her if she has a pen. She'll go get pen and paper . . . and then you have her write down the time and day you'll visit next. Someone giving them a task to do (even as simple as writing a simple note) will get their mind off the obsession. I'm not even sure Dad wrote anything down . . . he just felt like I thought he was still normal enough to take some notes. It seemed to give him a bit of confidence.

I'm so sorry your gma has this dd. It is so hard to watch them decline.

Hugs, prayers, and . . .

Blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/12/2008 12:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Red
I so agree with Rosie
It is hard to tell what is real and what is not unless you are there
I think though it probably is a wheelchair she may be talking about

Would she write things down if you asked her

Can you when you are there next time see if perhaps someone does go up and down the hallway in a w/c
I know at the homes I worked in many did wander in and out of others rooms
We tried to stop it as much as possible but it still happened...........
Honestly and this is me
I believe that some of what they say ( unless way way out there) has some truths to it

Its kinda like putting a puzzle together without the last piece at times

I do feel your pain and the frustration of not knowing for sure

keep us posted
Please

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

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                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
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Keah
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Date Joined Nov 2003
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   Posted 11/18/2008 3:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes it really is impossible to tell the difference. Like Lyn, I also agree that there is some basis of reality in whatever they say, but the end story that comes out can be really off base, especially if there is the element of paranoia involved.

My Aunt cannot accept that she is having such memory problems and so she has decided that someone is coming in and moving her things and/or thowing them out. When we got it down to where there was absolutely nobody in the family to blame, she decided that the tenant upstairs must be sneaking in at night while she slept and moving her papers. To solve that problem, we added a security chain to the door. Now nobody can get in once she locks it, but still, the next week, she got me up on a chair checking the tops of her closets for a hole that he could climb through!

I know how frustrating it is when I forget something and just can't imagine how difficult and scary it must be to be in my Aunt's position. Almost 90, almost blind and all alone with your belongings constantly shifting places because you can't remember moving them. How awful!

So anyway, the reality for my Aunt is that her things do move from place to place and then the fantasy comes in to protect herself and the mover has got to be someone else because she doesn't remember moving it.

We did get her a script for Aricept about a month ago, but she was reluctant to take it because she's been lucky enough to notneed any other medications besides eye drops for her Glaucoma and Macular Degeneration. After weeks of me trying she finally starting taking it last week. I hope that this can help her some and that there is some improvement soon.
Keah a.k.a. Wormy
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/18/2008 7:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Keah

I hope your Aunt does have improvement with this med
My dad did good on it for quite some time........

Keep us posted and know we do understand

LYN


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 11/18/2008 6:37:31 PM (GMT-7)


AlwaysRosie
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/18/2008 7:56 AM (GMT -6)   
(((((((( Keah ))))))))

I'm so sorry to learn that your Aunt is afflicted with this dd too. God bless you as you learn the ins and outs of caring for an alz patient. I know it is a hard road . . . I hope you have some help.

Let us know how things go with the med.

Blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum

UCTD, Inflammatory Arthritis, Diverticulosis, (recent dx - Sjogrens, Crohn’s 4/08)

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Red_34
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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23353
   Posted 11/18/2008 8:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Keah, my gma is the same way. When she lived with me, she would constantly hide things and then blame others for moving them. Especially my daughter. She was always blaming things on my daughter for some reason but my son could never do no wrong. That in itself was another reason I had to move her out to an assisted living center. My daughter was having major issues and I do believe it was due to the stress of my gma living with us. Since I moved her out, my daughter has finally started to behave and act like a normal teen again. But I just wanted to say that it can be tough to deal with a person with AZ, even if they don't live with you. It's so sad to see them like this - it truly breaks my heart.

Rosie, I wished I could have my gma write things down but she is almost blind from macular degeneration.

Lyn, I know that some of the residents do go in and out of my gma's room which is one of the reasons she locks her door all the time. It's frustrating for my gma because she thinks these people are coming in to steal things even though she doesn't have anything of value in her room. But the paranoia is still there.
 @--->--SHERRY--<---@
Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC
~Left sided Uc-'92-Colazal(9 daily),6mp(50-100mgs),Bentyl, Prilosec,Biotin,Forvia,Pro-Bio**Unable to tolerate Asacol, Rowasa or Canasa**~Year-round allergies-Singulair, Zyrtec~Secondary Reynauds Syndrome-'04-Norvasc~Sacroiliitis-epidural injections~bulging and herniated discs C5/C6 & C6/C7~3 epidural injections-worked great!, OA
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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/18/2008 8:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Red
So many residents in homes and even in the one I owned......
Were very paranoid........

Alot comes with the disease

Take care

lyn
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

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