I am so glad you are looking at ways to bring your Mom home for Christmas. What a wonderful daughter you are. My inlaws took G-ma to the nursing home and after that I don't remember anyone trying to take her home. I guess they were afraid as before she lost her memory completely she would get paranoid and belligerent.
They did bring her to their house when Gpa died and she walked the house day and night looking for Frank, her husband. That choked me up as it is such a horrible disease and to watch someone who was so bright and witty, such a good person have this happen to them is heartbreaking. My MIL is crippled with arthritis and she was not able to keep Gma at home.
WE all went to visit Gma in the nursing home and my MIL went everyday to feed her lunch. We took her a Christmas present which she had no idea what it was for but the bright bow lit up her face. She kept turning it over and looking at it. I know somewhere deep down it triggered a memory from days gone by.
Let you Mother see the colors of Christmas if it works out. No guilt for you if it does not.
A very special holiday to you.
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
I feel bad for not having been on here for so long and giving you an update on Christmas. I couldn't take Mum out for a run in the car because the weather was so cold and wet, and when we went to see her a few days before Christmas we were told she was in isolation as she had Norovirus. Poor thing was being sick and had diarrhoea. She wasn't well enough to come home on Christmas day but we took her presents and helped her with her dinner and we had a nice time with her. She recovered pretty well really.
I saw the doctor a week before Christmas too. I asked about her medication and the doc said 'She's not on any anti-psychotics now'. I was surprised, as she still had been the last time I'd asked a nurse - and when I said 'Oh really? Since when?' the doctor looked a bit embarrassed and said 'Since yesterday....' Hmmm, a bit of a coincidence I think that the doc takes her off them after five weeks, and the day before she sees me.
Doc then said she would cut out her evening sedation and leave her on one dose in the morning. I asked if that was a good thing to do at same time as removing the anti-psychotic and she said yes, no problem. I further asked if cutting out the morning dose would not be better, but she said no. I later found out she'd reduced both by half but hadn't told me, though I feel it was a better decision.
I'm now going to have to move mum to a nursing home and pay for her care, as pressure is being put on me to get her out of the hospital. But she's settled and I like the staff, and Mum won't notice if the decor is better, but I've no choice.
I still tell myself that if things don't go well I'll just take her home with me, I won't have her on lots of sedation again. She is far worse than in October when she went into hospital for a small fall that did no damage and they over sedated her. I'm still angry! I just try to make the best of it when I visit, but mum mainly just sits and dozes or sits in silence while I struggle to think of things to say that might interest her, and then perhaps she'll repeat a word like 'desperate' over and over again in a high pitched voice. Of course I never find out what she's desperate about.
Thanks for listening! I know I go on a bit!
Thanks for your understanding replies, it's comforting to know others have gone through what I am now.
I felt soooo sad today when I visited, I think I'm grieving for the mum I had and the realisation that we'll never again to be able to have a conversation. She likes her hugs and kisses though, even if she does cover me in orange juice dribbles mixed with chocolate! But it's so frustrating and upsetting listening to her saying the same words over and over again, and looking worried and maybe in pain, and not knowing what she's trying to say. I suggest things, ask her what the problem is, but she ignores me and continues with the high-pitched moaning. And then suddenly she'll stop and use her normal, lower voice, to ask me a question. But immediately she'll go back to the moaning. Does anyone else have this going on? None of the other ladies seem to do this. I'm wondering if it's because if it's easier for her to make this high sound than to use her normal voice.
I went to visit a care home today and reserved a room for Mum so she should be moving there in the next week or so. I told the manager about my concerns about the sedation and she was very understanding - and then we left her office to see a row of five old ladies all dozing in their chairs! I didn't say anything, perhaps it's for the best if they can't do anything else and life has very little quality.
Thanks again for listening and replying.