...I am In Here.........I Do Feel.........I am So Scared.........

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/30/2009 4:59 AM (GMT -6)   
...When you look at me I feel the pain and I know '
You are trying so hard
I also know I am a handful at times
I dont want to have to be fed......cleaned up after......Bathed.......
I dont want to be a Burden........
.I did not choose this DD
It decided to choose me.........
It has robbed me of so much
'
I dont know from day to day
IF I will know what my daughter's name is/ son....G/K's GGK's
or if I even have one??
Did I have a loving husband?
What did I do before this got me ??
 
My thoughts wander
I try to think of the
"Before"
But I cannot ..........
Please know I am in here
I can feel
I do feel
I am so sad and I feel alone
I DO love you even if I sometimes forget
That I do
 
Reach out and touch me
I wont be afraid
I will lavish in the touch of another human
 
......God.....I wish I had all the right words to say........
But sadly I have forgotten........ 


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/30/2009 5:32 AM (GMT -6)   
TTT

See Me For What I Was/Am
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Nenskie
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/30/2009 8:27 AM (GMT -6)   
cry huhuhu!!! i feel that for my dad... it's just that sometimes i mentally and physically feel it's draining me out esp for my mom when i am at work... i don't want to hear the news that 2 of them are not well.. i visit them almost everyday, it's just a 5-10 min. drive anyway..

it's kind of stressful to the whole family.. we are planning to get daycare help so that he will have some outlet and other things to do to keep him busy.. thanks for reminding us we are not alone in this battle blush

Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 3/30/2009 4:43 PM (GMT -6)   

Powerful stuff Lyn, breaks my heart what these people go through, having seen it firsthand, the pain they endure is superhuman. thanks for showing us life from THEIR perspective. These people are to be loved, treasured, cared for. It is a privilege to help them as they struggle IMO.

Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/31/2009 7:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for reading

Take care of yourselves and know I care

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


wiggyann
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 171
   Posted 3/31/2009 11:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Lyn,

The poem reminded me of mother. Did you write it?
It's beautiful.



God Bless You,
Wiggyann

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/1/2009 4:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Words from my mind to mouth to page......
My friend
It is easy to write about this as I am so passionate about finding a cure.........
RESPECTING our seniours
As you know all too well


Thanks again


Luvs
LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/25/2009 1:57 PM (GMT -6)   
To the top

..................LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN

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