my mom has dementia, what should I do?

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1 day at a time
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2012
Total Posts : 202
   Posted 12/15/2012 10:19 PM (GMT -6)   
My mom has had short term memory issues for several years. She lives at her home with my dad (who has his own issues). After yet another UTI & hospitalization, her memory is worse, confusion more pronounced. I am an only child & have to work full time to live. My husband is more or less "retired" & has been a godsend helping my folks. Both of my parents are adamant that they do not want to leave their home.
My mom was just discharged from the hospital for sepsis from a UTI. She was a handful for hospital staff as she wandered around, pulled out IV lines, etc.The had to put a bed and personal alarm on her to keep track of her.
I've resigned myself to the fact that my mom is not the mom I once knew; she is gone. It hurts horribly because the body is still here but the mind is gone..I know there is going to be a time where we can no longer care for my folks ourselves, so I'm looking into outside help to come in to assist with bathing and other tasks.
At what point do I decide that they are no longer fit to be at home?
I don't know what my specific question is, maybe I'm just rambling because I don't know what to do. What have others done?

Michael In NY
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2012
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 12/16/2012 12:13 PM (GMT -6)   
We kept Mom (Widow) at home and hired a full time live in housekeeper. Mom was not bedridden and managed quite well with the housekeeper. It was very painful for all of us to see Mom losing it but gave us great comfort that she was being very well cared for. We never thought about the day she could no longer be at home. At age 99, she simply went to bed and didn't wake up.

Do whatever possible to avoid a nursing home unless off course she becomes bedridden and needs extensive care. Focus on the here now. Take it one day at a time.
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