Rosie .........How's Dad?

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/23/2005 1:10 PM (GMT -6)   
..........Hey sis ,just checking in to see how your Dad is doing ,have not talked you you in so long . Hope you are feeling better as well .......Be good and thinking bout you always ............give Dad and your Mom a big hug for me ...........Loads of love and huggs sent your way .......God Bless ........Sis
 
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    I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........Lyn  
 
 
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AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 8/23/2005 8:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Well Lyn . . last week I had one of those very painful days with him. He wanted to go to the police station to visit the chief. (Dad used to be a policeman, service director, mayor, county administrator . . . LOTS of public service). Anyway, we approached the counter at the police station and the whole wall above the counter was mirrored. There were teeny tiny pass-through holes under the counter to each attendant . . . . but you'd have to bend way over to see under. Well . . . there was dad looking at himself in the mirror and carrying on quite a conversation with himself. I was soooooo angry with the set up in there. I felt really weird knowing that they could see us and we couldn't see them. I understand that it is for their safety and all . . . but good Lord, put a phone in there or something. OK, I'll stop my rant. I don't know why it hit me so hard, but I was bummed for several days over the incident. It was just so demeaning.

Yesterday though, I spent the day with dad and I gave him one of the three-D puzzles we made. It was an old fashioned car with a crank starter and it was made of wood. I gave him a paint brush and some paint and he painted for 45 minutes w/o any assistance from me!! I was actually so sleepy that I layed down on a nearby couch and just kept peeking at his progress and when he was done, he got up and cleaned up his mess!! I was soooo proud of him. And he was thrilled with his red car. Its been a while since he has done so well with our crafting. I know it was a gift from God to both of us . . . but it was SO appreciated!!!

I hope you are still getting help from your family sis! Are you continuing to recover??

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/23/2005 10:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey hun ........I know you must have been angry,frustrated and i would imagine just a bit (way lots)......upset for Dad ......that is very demeaning and I would have felt the same but I no doubt would have said something to anyone that came out lol,and probably found myself in the station without a key .....glad you kept your cool . I bet he had a blast doing the painting of his car ,he is so lucky to have you and vice versa ........no hun my family dont give a rat's behind on how Mom is or help out in anyway except for this last little while (since the drinking) as I made my sister come back here to Moms and look after her ..........I check in and as hard as it is I will not do anything until Mom has stopped the drinking for good and has gotten straightened out.My sister supplied the beer and knew the consequences so now she will clean up the aftermath ............Mom has had quite the hangover and it hurts to see her like that but........I will be there for her as always but as I told my sister its time to step up and start to look after the woman who changed your diaper,wiped your nose and did all for you ........sister was totally shocked that I said what I said (and more) but hey it was time, you know..........I am getting better with each day but am not talking to many of the family members so that helps with the stress. I have had more love ,care and concern from HW and my "lil" family on here than with my blood family and it does hurt more than I can say but I will remember it ........I forgive but I may not forget ya know what I mean.............Howie and Cait have been rocks thru all of this and I have been soooo "B"....Grumpy that I dont know how they have been able to deal with it ,and I get so upset with myself as I know that I am not angry at them just this DD ......Hope you are well and hope to yak more often ,miss you and stories about Dad ......and how is Mom by the way?...........give huggs to them both and a big hug and loads of love to you .........take care sis and God Bless .......
 
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    I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........Lyn  
 
 
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effie
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 8/24/2005 6:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Rosie,
I read your story and I started to cry. My Dad was taken from us suddenly, he had done very well but he was just starting to show signs of cognitive problems when he took a heart attack and died at the age of 84. My son and I spent every single Saturday night with him and one night through the week. We lived in another city, but regardless of weather we kept that commitment. My son gave up all of his Saturday night normal teenage social stuff to be with my Dad. I have no regrets. We also spent every single New Years Eve with him since my mom passed away when I was 18. A psychologist told me that my son's current depression is partially due to the fact that I made him live up to this committment. I disagree. I think my father taught him more than I ever could.
I taught at this one school in several different capacities, teacher, consultant, resource worker, reading recovery, special education, kindergarten, and behavioural class for 16 years.
There was one elderly teacher, in her 80's who used to like to come and visit. When my friend and I were at that school we maintained a prayer that she had written and had the young children recite it everyday. She used to love to drop by and see that her prayer was still on the wall. Although most of the staff had changed I learned about her through my teaching partner one year. We would make a big celebration and make her feel like a queen when ever she came to visit.

I am sure if you made a phone call to the police station and told them of your dad's employment history, they would allow you to drop by and visit one day behind the bars, and treat him like a king. Most professionals honor those that have done the job in the early days.

I do not know much about Alzheimer's. Could you call and book a day in advance to take him and arrange a specific time? Or do you never know ahead of time, how an alzheimer's patient will be on any given day? If you could plan ahead, then maybe they could temporarily cover up the mirrors for like 5 or 10 minutes while your dad got to the back area.

I am sure they would be honored to have him visit the station. Was it the actual station that he had worked from? I may be way off here, but I just wondered.
Bless your heart.

Both you and Lyn work so hard to make sure your parents have dignity and the best quality of life that they can have.

I think we need more education on Alzehimers because if I had not read this site, I never would have known that mirrors and glass reflections were a problem. It makes sense, totally. However in all the years that I studied psychology, I do not ever remember being told that. Now mind you most of my psychology courses related to children and learning, but I did take a few basic courses as well.

God Bless you both, inspite of your own pain, you watch over those that once watched over you. Crying again. It just makes me so sad to think of him in there feeling that way. But the story has a happy ending, because he painted his car red.

We used to have one elderly gentleman that used to like to come to the school once a week just to tape up books that had a little tear or whatever. While he was there the kids would walk by and greet him, and he would just smile. After about an hour, his daughter in law would come pick him up and take him home. He was a great asset to the school. Unfortunately he died last year and I did not hear about it until the time was long passed.

Thank God for the Rosie's and the Lyn's and the many others who post on this board for taking care of their loved ones. I know, but I do not fully understand, how hard it must be. I have never walked down that lane. But I take my hat off to all of the caregivers of elderly parents. yeah

Post Edited (effie) : 8/25/2005 12:34:04 AM (GMT-6)


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 8/24/2005 10:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Lyn . . . Good for you sis. Your mom may not be able to learn from this, but your sister sure can. Cheers to you for speeking up. You are a class act sis. You waited till the perfect time arose to speak your mind and you ARE right. I'm glad you are healing. You've had a rough go. I'm glad that God blessed you with a hubby and daughter who love you like they do.


Oh Emmie . . . you give me too much credit *blush*. I had another lovely day with dad. He painted the wheels on the car black and it is smashing!! We went shopping and bought popsicle sticks to make houses and stuff for him to paint. We also built a dupiclate car, so he can paint that one next week.

Update on the Police Station . . . Dad escaped from home twice and went to visit the Police Chief the first time and the Fire Station the second time! He walked there!!!! He has always walked outside frequently, but never leaves the yard . . . mom is now trying to figure out how to deal with him leaving w/o any warning. I am actually laughing because the man is just so determined. The municipal center is only 1/4 mile down the street from them, but still, he had to cross a horrible intersection to get there. I can just see him holding up his hand to stop the traffic!! I think my brothers are going to add some locks to the doors. (BTW the only reason he couldn't see the chief the first time, was because he was on vacation)

Oh Effie, I'm sorry you lost your dad so suddenly. I really do try to appreciate every minute with dad . . . I actually feel blessed to be able to spend time with him. Today when we were driving home from a car ride, he reached over and rubbed my arm very gently like he was saying "I love you". It was so sweet.

IMHO: Effie, your visits with your dad that you and your son made DID NOT contribute to his depression. I bet that he does miss your dad, but my bet is that the memories he has formed and the fact that he was attentive helps him. Imagine how he would have felt if he had missed the opportunity to spend time with his grampa. You did good Effie . . . don't doubt that.

Thanks for all your love sisters!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)

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