My Dad .......Seems So Lost

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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/11/2006 1:10 PM (GMT -6)   
 I know that with Mom just passing it has affected Dad in ways I dont even understand yet I feel so sad that he is and seems so lost.......I have to do everything ( I do not mind)  he is not totally gone yet he is just a mere shell of self.......
I went over this am as we were planning on him moving in here with us well he flew into a rage and said he could look after self and he will be fine ..
I have a hard time being in the house still, the memories are beautiful but painful....
I went into the den and there are pics of Mom all over it is a h*** of a mess in there but he will not let me do any cleaning out in that room ,he says it is his room and to leave it be lol........I understand but I am so hurting for him they were together over 40 + yrs and then she was gone
The doc said this is Dads way of grieving and to not push him right now and I am trying my darndest not too but he has to sell the house it is a 5 bd house and with the finances he will not be able to make the bills in the next couple of months if he continues to stay there
I go over at least 6 to 8 times a day to talk and make sure stove is off and he is okay ..........I always find him in that Den and in housecoat unshaven and looking like he is giving up.......I asked him if I come over later If I can give him a nice hair trim and shave and he agreed but not w/o a bit of a hassle lol......so hopefully I will be able to get him to bathe and I will do hair and shave him.........He is coming to the market with me tomorrow so that will be my reasoning card to draw ya know ........
Well thanks for letting me vent lol......I am doing okay and up a bit but I just dont want him to go as well .........Take care all and God Bless..Lyn
 
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Let us be grateful to people who make us happy,they are the charming gardens that make souls bloom.........Lyn


mrs mac
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 4/11/2006 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
aww lyn hon

how tough this is on you all

you guys are in my prayers, and i hope as time passes the pain will ease up on all of you

tc
sandra xxxx

AlwaysRosie
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/11/2006 10:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sis,

I really enjoyed our chat today. I fear the doctor is right, your dad really does need to griev. It really hard for you because you have a need to tidy up all the lose encd before you begin grieving in earnest. You deal with it the way I do. We just do all we can in a situation and then colapse.

I'm hoping you can take some time to keep your feet up and let that leg begin to heal. You really need to take care of YOU so that you'll be around a good long time to take care of your dad.

I am always amazed at how the hard things in life pile up all at once. You are in a tough time sis. You are on my mind often throughout the day and I will continue lifting your needs up to the Lord.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/12/2006 5:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Sis you dont know how much it helped to share with you what I am feeling and going thru I had a good nights sleep knowing I am doing the right thing .....thank you ..........Dad said no to shave and trim yesterday put it off til this am and I know he will as he wont miss the market day lol......He just loves it and this will be our first since Mom passed going back together........I will just tell him I want to take out my "Good Looking Dad" LOL........I havent really have my grieving time as you know and I know it is coming and it will be rough but with friends such as you Sis I will get thru it I will and I neeed to for him and my family at home as well as all the HW peeps that have helped me out ......Thanks for keeping me in your prayers and I will call either tonight or Thursday after 6 pm (we are on same time ) love you sis
God Bless and I thank Him for you ......
 
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..Let that strong Spirit of yours be your guide...
 
 A Real Friend .....walks in when the rest of the World walks
 Out
 
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy,they are the charming gardens that make souls bloom.........Lyn


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/12/2006 5:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Sandra ........Thank you so much for your kind words and your thoughts .....I have been missing you how are you doing .......God Bless.....Lyn
 
Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
..Let that strong Spirit of yours be your guide...
 
 A Real Friend .....walks in when the rest of the World walks
 Out
 
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy,they are the charming gardens that make souls bloom.........Lyn


SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 4/12/2006 9:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Keep him busy if you can Lyn.Yes he needs to grieve,but being busy can help keep depression at bay.............
SnowyLynne


dbab
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Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 4/12/2006 12:19 PM (GMT -6)   
I know this must be so hard on you Lyn. You truly are an angel. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for your continued strength (don't overdo it though). God Bless you and your family
Hugs, Des
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mrs mac
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 4/12/2006 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   
not too bad lyn thanks

hopefully arm will start to mend now

tc you

sandra xxxxx

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/13/2006 5:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Snowy and Des .....and you too Sandra I do not know what I would do with out all of the peeps here and being able to tlak to Rosie really did help...........had a bit of a bad day yesterday ...had to go thru all of moms clothes and I still could smell he on therm ........Did not sleep to good at all so I am going to answer some more posts and go back to do do's (sleep) lol
 
Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
..Let that strong Spirit of yours be your guide...
 
 A Real Friend .....walks in when the rest of the World walks
 Out
 
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy,they are the charming gardens that make souls bloom.........Lyn

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