I am SO sorry to hear about your dad's alzheimers.
My dad has alzheimer's also. He often asks about "his mother" when we were honest and said that "she died a long time ago" dad would cry. Now we realize that he is actually asking about "his wife". It seems that he gets all the pronouns (he/she) and the titles (mother, sister, wife, daughter) all mixed up. Most everyone is a "he" and most female family members are "his mother". He will introduce me as "his mother" and he will talk about my mom, his wife, as being "his mother".
We now know to tell him, "mom is fine, she will be home at 2:00 (or whenever she is expected home). All this confusion is very hard to take, but it is very helpful to dad if we don't correct him or try to make him understand the correct words to use.
I can tell you from experience that the more time you spend with him, the better you will become at communicating with him and helping him to enjoy the time he has left.
Dad also wants to "go home" all the time even though he is in the same house that he has lived in for 30 years. It doesn't ever help if we tell hi that he IS at home . . . often I will take him for a ride around the block and he is very content when we get back "home".
Snowy has alzheimer's herself and has cared for patients with alzheimers and she is a real pro in this forum. Lyn will be along to greet you too. She lost her mom several days ago to alzheimers, but she was also an alzheimer's nurse, so she is very helpful as well.
I hope you are able to enjoy the time that you get to spend with your dad. I cherish every minute I can and I always try to enjoy him just as he is. My wishing he wasn't afflicted with the DD wastes my energy and robs me of enjoying his company so I really try to kind of meet hi where he is at.
I am glad to meet you and glad that you are a son who spends time with his parents.
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
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