Mother refusing meds

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Ellie 1
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 4/16/2006 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   
My mother has been diagnosed with glaucoma and requires surgery.  The surgery has been postponed indefinately until her blood pressure can be stablized.  She's been give two different meds for this but has dropped one because she didn't like the way it made her feel.  Her pressure has been at stroke level for ages.  She refuses to call the dr. or even give me his name.  Today she complained about her ears ringing all day.  obviously theres an issue here and I feel like my hands are tied.  The family still will give me no support in this.
In addition to going off her med, now she's spending time telling my children about the little girl (I don't remember what state) that was killed by a bear.  Whatever details the media didn't give my mother just made up and made this as gruesome as possible for my children.  The 8 and 6 year olds both looked horrified.  When I realized what she was doing and came rushing out of the kitchen to stop her she became very defensive and accused me of not only not facing reality but refusing to allow my children to grow up.
I know this is just part of her slipping away, and it's devastating to see, but how do I continue to expose my children to her?  Granted the two grown girls and the 14 year old can deal with this, but the 8, 6, and 2 year olds can't really be expected to.  I guess I'm just venting, there really doesn't seem to be any solution to this.
Ellie


Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/17/2006 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellie hun so sorry I just got up a long day with all the family and at Mom's to boot......Anyways hun I think you have to talk to your mom and tell her that coming off those meds can really cause some damage for instance the ringing in the ears is not good .....I know she is slipping but she is still able to know right from wrong right? If this is the cause then ask her not to talk to the lil ones about these types of current events as YOU have your way to talk to them about it and it may not be the way she does .....and they get scared easy.......I had to go thru this with Mom a few times in the early stages but she did stop talking about things to Cait it was as if she had no one else to listen so she would tell cait all kinds of weird and sometimes gorry things .......Vent all you want I know you do deserve to do that my dear .....I am thinking bout ya .......God Bless and I am sure others will be along as welll..Lyn
 
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Ellie 1
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 6/12/2006 8:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Mother finally got her blood pressure down to a managable level and had her eye surgery last week. Glaucoma surgery and cataract surgery at the same time she tells me. She didn't tell me the surgery date. I guess they kept cancelling it due to her BP so she just figured when she went in they would cancel it again.
All went well but now they have her putting drops in her eyes every two hours? Plus another kind every four, and I think theres a third drop she does twice a day. So far she's keeping track by keeping it all on paper but this is a woman who can't remember her phone # or grandkids names. I'm afraid she's going to get confused. She won't come here. Says my cat will frighten hers. Good grief. Her cat has a heart condition and I understand her fears.
Now she's saying since she had her surgery she won't need the bp meds anymore. That the only reason she worried about it was so she could get her eyes fixed and she "did very nicely without it before, thank you". I'm going to go crazy. Ok, crazier. What do you do when they start to act like defiant little children? She still won't give me her dr.s name because she knows I"ll call him.
Mostly just venting here. Thanks for reading my little novella if you made it this far.
Take care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/13/2006 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellie ....it is hard to think of your mom as a child but at some stage of AD she does revert back to a stubborn one or may well do ........I think she is scared really getting older hearing of peeps getting this DD and herself worrying she is getting it ......bear with her I know it is so dang frustrating at times but it something you will have to adjust to for now .....she is trying to keep her independance I am sure ...MOm use to get me into such a tizzy at times but she knew she could so thats why she did it .....if your mom is writing things down I think she kinda knows something is going in her memory dept .........just kinda keep an eye on her undirectly and I am sure she will be fine you dont need to be sick over all of this ....Let me know how you both are doing please......God Bless....Lyn
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Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 6/13/2006 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   
I think sometimes she does tell me these things just to rattle my cage. She knows I worry and I think she takes some comfort there. I wish she'd just come here and I could help her for a week or so. Not forever, we'd do each other in, but just until the worst of this eye thing were over. In addition to all her med's she's trying to remember her cat's ear drops (hope they don't end up in moms eyes), it has and infection plus the cat is on a diuretic (sp?) and heart medicine. If she mixes those up it could be a real mess.
She has a friend that takes her to the dr. but she doesn't see her everyday. I guess sometimes theres nothing to do but worry. She won't let anyone help. And YES she is terrified of being old. She'll be 79 this month and refuses to have anything to do with people her own age. Says they're all old and she's not. I must admit that she walks miles each day. Except for the eyes and BP she is in excellent shape. It's such a shame that her body is holding up so well and her mind is slowly slipping away.
Thanks for the reply Lyn, you have a good day hon. Hope your dad is doing well.
Take care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/14/2006 4:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellie I hope the drops dont get mixed as well that would be really not good ....and your Mom is washing hands after doing cats eyes right .....I ask this s Cait ended up with the nastiest infection from cleaning the guck out of her cats eyes and thats what it was from....Hon you will worry yourself sick you know that she is okay right now she will come to you I really think when she knows it is time ........My mom was the most stubborn and I will never forget"our talk" and how she broke down about losing her memory and forgetting peeps it was heartbreaking BUT she did talk about it ........I will be keeping you and her in my thoughts heart and Prayers.......God Bless,,,,,,Dad is not doing to bad yet not good either kinda in a stand still he thought I was Mom the other night .......really freaked me out ....you really need to look after you to hun please........Lyn
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