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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 4/21/2006 7:27 AM (GMT -6)   
sad  Well I think it is time for dad to see the Doctor ,he sits in the den surrounded by pics of Mom and does nothing all day till I am there,feeds his dog steak and potatoes with gravy , is not doing anything at all for self and not going out unless I kinda convince him ,and this man loves the outoors and his gardening  .....I feel he doesnt need to be in that house with all the memories but other family members (of course ) feel I am wrong again lol.....It never ceases to amaze me that "they" know all now ya know when that havent given a "tinkers da**" before .......even when Mom was alive ..I have had some really rough days with him and like I said it is now time for some professional help so I will let you all know how it goes or doesnt lol.......Be well all and God Bless....Lyn
 
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Let us be grateful to people who make us happy,they are the charming gardens that make souls bloom.........Lyn


dbab
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   Posted 4/21/2006 7:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Hope all goes well Lyn... I will keep him, you and your family in my thoughts.
Hugs, Des
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SnowyLynne
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Date Joined Apr 2004
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   Posted 4/21/2006 12:31 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree Lyn,but he hasn't had enough grieving time yet,but a Dr.visit is in order............

SnowyLynne


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/22/2006 11:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks both of you ...Snowy I agree he has not had time to grieve I dont think he relly believes Mom is gone sometimes .I know I remind him of her so much this has to be hard on him.....The doc put him on a new med so I am hoping this will help......Take care all and God Bless....Lyn
 
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..Let that strong Spirit of yours be your guide...
 
 A Real Friend .....walks in when the rest of the World walks
 Out
 
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy,they are the charming gardens that make souls bloom.........Lyn


Suzy2
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Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 335
   Posted 4/28/2006 4:50 PM (GMT -6)   
How are things with your Dad Lyn? Have the new meds helped at all yet or is it a bit soon?


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/29/2006 7:09 AM (GMT -6)   
I think they are starting to work or maybe it is me hoping so much lol.I picked up Mom's ashes yesterday so have to plan with the other's what we are going to do with them .I have decided to put mine in a small vial around neck on a gold chain I think I am not sure yet things are still really confusing and out there for me yet.You take care and thanks for all your support.........God Bless.....Lyn
 
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mrs mac
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Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 4/29/2006 6:07 PM (GMT -6)   
hi lyn hon

how are you doing? and how are things with your dad?

am thinking about you all

love and hugs
mrs mac xxxx

AlwaysRosie
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 5/4/2006 7:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lynn,

I'm sooo sorry about your dad. I'm glad the meds are helping a bit. You are such a blessing to him . . . I bet you make God smile!!

Gosh Lyn, it really hasn't been too long since you lost your mom. He is probably taking a longer time to grieve. He may be bathing himself in his sadness. Sometimes we just need to be sad for a while before we can move on. He'll move on to the next stage of grieving in his own time. Caring for the dog is good for him (lol, as long as the dog doesn't sucomb to obesity).

This must be so hard on you sis . . . to see him so sad. You might try being sad "with" him and see if he'll talk about it at all. Don't push him too hard . . . he's just not ready yet.

You are a such a good daughter!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/5/2006 4:31 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been doing alot of things with dad and I finally see he is so sad and lonely not just for the life and love he lost but for all he has lost.His BD is this wknd and all want to get together and celebrate he is adament no one is to be drinking lol and he will tell them........Thanks sis I have had a headache from Hades this last couple of days will try to call you over the weekend or Monday after the BD get together.....Love ya and God Bless........Sis
 
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AlwaysRosie
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 5/5/2006 10:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Give your dad a birthday hug from Rosie!! I hope he enjoys everyone's company!!

A headache???? Uhhhh ohhhhh . . . sorry sis!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, Carpal Tunnel both wrists, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
RX Meds: Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Hydrochlorothiazide, Lisinopril, Panlor SS   -   OTC Supplements: Folic Acid, Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D, Glucosamine, MSM, Salmon Oil, Flaxseed Oil)
 
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/6/2006 4:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Got rid of headache but Cait and I had a wonderful day out Friday and ate out for supper.both are paying for it at all ends lol....feeling somewhat better so I am looking forward to dad's celebration tomorrow so is Cait I will hugg him for you sis ...thanks ..love and huggs to you and yours.......God Bless......Sis
 
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/8/2006 8:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Birthday party went okay but seemed like alot of tension as per usual when all the siblings get together..........I kinda just feel like they all dont think before they act you know .........anyways just a quick update .......Lyn
    God Bless .....Lyn
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obs ann
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 679
   Posted 5/8/2006 8:53 PM (GMT -6)   

Hia Lyn, wanted to come over here to see how things are 'really' going.

sigh.  My heart's going out to you and your Dad. 

My Dad was always the type that no one Ever saw sad or mad or complain, but when my last step-mom passed, he could barely talk for months.  He was almost 85 when she passed.

But then he met a really cute chick - 84 years old and he's a happy man. Very happy.

We never thought it would happen, but this lady is the best lady he's ever had.

He was widowed twice and my mom left him for no good reason, so this is #4 for him.

He's the real faithful type, so it's not like he was a gigallo or something ... ha.

Maybe y'all could go to the Senior Get-to-gethers, and find some Seniors for him to hang out with.   My Dad moved to a Seniors Place and first he met another widower man who became a good talking buddy.

Well, I just wanted to come by here and tell you my thoughts have never left you nor my prayers and hoping things will gradually get better for your Dad.  There wasn't much we (as my dad's kids) could do for our Dad, except invite him over for meals or take him places of interest, but that was about it. 

You take good care of you, please.

Love & Hugs, as always,

Ann again

 


LateNeuroLyme + CFIDS = Lord knows what.
Romans 8:28 ~ And we know that ALL things work together for the Good,   Y
for them that Love God, for them who are the called according to His purpose. 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/9/2006 5:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Ann........Dad isnt interested in young ones he already said.......They have to come already trained lol........It has been real hard and getting harder for me as Mother's day approaches,.....Thanks for your thoughts .Hope you stay well and with us we all missed you ....Love and God Bless........Lyn
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CharleyRice1931
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 397
   Posted 5/9/2006 9:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lyn,
You guessed right I have been busy, and flustrated dealing with lawers in Ireland. How I wished I never started with this Redress Board dealing with abuses committed to children so many years ago. They can't begin to understand the thinking of a child locked away from the outside world, brought up to respond to every command of a whistle. They are amazed I can't remember the name of a child who died from eating the pods of a laburnum tree. It was back in 1937/8 we all eat the leaves of the trees, clover, haws etc. I had a liking for carbolic soap!
Jean is doing fine. This is one of her beauty days. I was puzzled how she could look so young and fresh one day the next washed out. Our daughter noticed it as did others. The answer was there in front of me. Having opened her bowles made all the difference. I ensure they open at least every other day. Twice a day I place Lactulose in her drinks. Her morning meal is weatabix in warm milk washed down with a warm drink of Nestle's Build up with teaspoon of honey. I found using a glass with 3 1/2 inch dia best to watch her drink. A lunch of 4 fresh veg finely mashed in soup, finished off with 2 or 3 biscuits and a drink of Cranberry juice from a clear baby bottle. Her evening meal is always finely mashed bananna and honey warmed in the micro/w. A Yogurt and some biscuits washed down with blackcurrant juice from the bottle. This diet keeps her around 115lbs a little above her normal weight. In the nursing home they talked a lot about TLC like politicians. I couldn't see loving care and told them their's load was a load of.... "Try my LOAD" "What's that?" LOOK, OBSERVE, ANALYSE, DECISION.
So sorry to learn your Dad was not too well, my heart goes out to you. I will never know the pain of seeing a parent suffer. I recall courting Jean, buying flowers and chocolate, she thought were for her. They were for her Grandma. Taking her to see her G/M: "You are so lucky to have Parents and Grandparents". She thought it sad, not me: "I'm lucky I'll never have to suffer or begin to imagine the pain of losing a parent". God moves in strange ways. There are always blessings, cheer up. It's good to be back.
May your God go with you.
Padraig.

obs ann
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 679
   Posted 5/9/2006 3:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Lyn, I understand about Mother's Day. I'm just grateful you have your Cait.
When my daughter found me, I was still grieving the loss of my mom, and having a daughter sure helped me get through that next Mother's day.

about my Dad. This new sweetheart of his I told about above, is 84 or 85 and he's 88. They'll be going on a cruise this month and went to Italy together last year. ha.

The strange thing is, there's three floors of Apartments where he moved and 120 apartments total and he's in Apt. #313 and "coincidently", she was right there in 314.

It made all of us believe "Anything's Possible" :)

Love you Lyn and you're wrapped in His merciful arms of compassion and our hearts too.
Always.
LateNeuroLyme + CFIDS = Lord knows what.
Romans 8:28 ~ And we know that ALL things work together for the Good,   Y
for them that Love God, for them who are the called according to His purpose. 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/9/2006 5:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Padraig .........Oh you dont know just how much I believe HE works in ways we could never....I was getting so worried about not hearing from you and then I turned on this and there was your story.....
I feel so bad for you as did Jean ,although it is a very difficult thing losing a parent it had to have been hades during your childhood. You sure are not a product of your environment as I see it anyways the way you describe Jean I can almost see her and it feels as though I have known you both for years........
I have lost a son at age 6 and that was so hard as well ,but losing Mom has been the hardest thing I have had to cross so far in my 52 yrs,I look for her in so many places ,I feel her and smell her.......we had a bond I cannot explain in words and I cry silent tears so as not to alarm Cait and worry her......I know that Nursing homes can be H but there are a few that are fo the people that are in need and do not have us that will look after them. Your load is so right as well.....I was not the kind of nurse that could leave her patients at the nursing home come quitting time I was involved and it is a lesson you are taught in nursing school not to get close ....How can you not ? There are so many there that are brought in dropped off and no one comes to see them again til their death and the finding out "who was left what" you know. Empathy is not hard to have if you dig deep and put yourself aside and look at what they feel and go thru. I know Mom was in there just as you know Jean is and thats what made me want to spend as much time with her as possible,plus I had promised her yrs ago she would never be put into a home. I will not do that with Dad either..he came into my life at age 8 and gave me the love and care I needed to mature and grow into someone that knew she was loved and loved deeply. I sure gave him the run for his life I despised him at first thinking he was taking Mom from me....then as I matured I came to love and respect this wonderful man that I call dad and that is from my heart I have no other father but him and never will..........This man took on 3 kids that were not his w/o hesitation and adopted us and has never once denied any of us and treated us as equals to his bio daughter........As you can see it is nothing short of admiration I have for him ........Anyways Padraig thanks for finally getting back I know you are busy and I kinda am a worrier lol but I hope you do not mind I have kinda adopted you and Jean as my grandparents if thats okay .......I have the utmost respect and admiration for you as well ....You have alot to give the people on this forum and I hope they will learn from you ..you are a sweet loving man grandpa .....Keep in touch ..am sending you a pic of Caitlyn and I with our old Minister...Love and God Bless .Huggs to you and Gradma jean
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/9/2006 5:59 PM (GMT -6)   
My Sweet Ann...Thank you for understanding and your support it means the world to me ....you are truly amaxing my friend .....Be well and God Bless...Lyn
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CharleyRice1931
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 397
   Posted 5/11/2006 9:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lyn,
That's a high honour to bestow on anyone, you build me up no end. Have you ever heard "Anyone can by a father, but it takes someone very special to be a Dad". You have him.
In the begining I found a lack of understand by many in the medical profession of the importance of the carer's bond with the loved one. I was not informed as to the medication Jean was given in hospital. Only after her discharge did I discover why she was always asleep on my visits. I was to keep her quiet, you couldn't meet a quieter person. Is it any wonder after a month's stay she couldn't walk?
At the nursing home I asked the nurse about the medication she was being given:"You'll have to ask the doctor". Because I had taken to spending 8 hrs a day at the home the doctor remarked: "Your doing a fine job for your wife". "No I'm not" He seemed puzzled :"Why ever not?" I shot back without thinking "Doesn't a dog look after his pups?" These years later I have thought about the remark and I'm pleased with it, it's me.
For the first time I have gained a sense of self worth, for I know carers are bestowed the task because they are special people. I have spent a lifetime trying to prove I'm not a reject. Sport, achived national honours, position, Superintendant with Lockheed, able to retire in comfort at 54. Only now by loving and being a carer have I gained a sense of self worth. There appears to be much more fruit in life's garden, it's always tasted good now it's even better. Thank you all for showing the labour you put in. Next a special Christmas.
May your God Go with you.
Padraig.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/11/2006 6:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Padraig yes I have heard that and I firmly believe in it as well....I would have been pleased myself saying what you did .....it must have really ticked the Doc off lol....You have so much to be proud of walk with your head held high alwyas you know you have earned it ....I wait for your stories and think of you and grandma Jean often thru my day........I have not sent the picture yet but will am getting alittle down as Mother's day approaches I miss her so much .......Please give Grandma Jean a gentle loving hug and while your at it one for you too.....See you tomorrow ....God Bless and Keep you forever strong and as Loving as you are ......Lyn
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/13/2006 7:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Padraig ,how are things going?.......Having some trouble with dad yesterday was really bad I havent slept at all .......I am hoping today will be better.......Gentle huggs to you and grandma Jean.......I hope she has a wonderful Mother's day....God Bless.....Lyn
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 A real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks away
  
 
  
 

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