my sister in law needs help!!!

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mrs mac
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Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/30/2006 1:28 PM (GMT -6)   
hey guys, not sure if anyone here can give me any advice, but thought i would try any way!!
 
my sister in law has had awful problems with her mum for many years!!!
 
she seems to have some sort of personality disorder, sounds like it could be Histrionic Personality Disorder??.
 
any way i am looking for any advice you guys may have, if you have come across any thing like this??
 
she is at her wit's end, her mum is just so out of control, she never gets a minutes peace from her, she either phones constantly or turns up at her door and just gives her constant abuse!!
 
hope you guys can help
 
sandra xxx

SnowyLynne
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Date Joined Apr 2004
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   Posted 8/30/2006 2:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Is there not a Dr.involved??She needs one.
SnowyLynne


mrs mac
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Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/30/2006 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   
there is snowy, but they aren't being much help!!
 
they can't do anything for her, she refuses meds, and refuses to believe there is a problem!!
 
at one point they thought she had dementia, but then changed her mind, my poor sis in law doesn't know what to do, she threatens her on the phone and turns up at her house and starts shouting abuse at her. She trys to ignore her mum, but that just makes things worse, she just makes things up about SIL and her family!!
 
all the docs keep saying is that it is just her personality and they can't do anything about it
 
sandra

Post Edited (mrs mac) : 8/30/2006 2:45:34 PM (GMT-6)


SnowyLynne
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   Posted 8/30/2006 5:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Does anyone have POA?
SnowyLynne


Suzy2
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Total Posts : 335
   Posted 8/31/2006 2:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Just a thought but I wonder if she could be bipolar.


Howlyncat
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   Posted 8/31/2006 4:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Good thought there..........and someone has to DEMAND the doctor's do something it is not right what your sil is going thru not to mention how your mum must really feel she has to be afraid although she is yelling and abusive ya know what I mean .......I am not condoning what she is doing but somewhere someone and hopefully a trained professional will step in
As posted by Snowy is there a POA........There are resources in yellow at side maybe something there to help as well ...sorry for all you are going thru your family is in my thoughts and prayers.......God Bless.........Lyn


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mrs mac
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Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/31/2006 10:59 AM (GMT -6)   
lyn the only thing she has been told to do is contact the police every time she turns up at her door, and that isn't going about things properly, and not really helping the situation at all!!

she has been assessed before, but they can't find anything wrong with her and just keep telling sil it's her personality, and just the way she is!!!

my poor sil is going to end up having a nervous breakdown, her latest stunt was just completely out of this world, and it was all because my SIL refused to have anything more to do with her

the drs really aren't being much help, and because she doesn't seem to be mentally ill, they can't section her or force her to have any more assessments done on her. All the support networks in the UK are geared toward the person who is mentally ill, there is not apparent support network for the families who so need it, i want to do something to help, but don't even know where to start

sandra xxx

Ellie 1
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Date Joined Apr 2005
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   Posted 8/31/2006 7:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Hmmm, and they've ruled out bipolar? If this is truly just this womans personality, and your SIL has done all that she can. Perhaps it's time for her to start thinking of herself and get a restraining order. I know it sounds dramatic, but it might give old mom the message that she is finished taking the abuse.
Abusive parents don't necessarily end the abuse just because the children have grown. It simply changes and they often use guilt afterwards to keep us on that chain. Somebody's got to break the link somewhere, be it mental health treatment, or the police, or perhaps another family member. Your SIL deserves a life without fear and abuse.
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 


mrs mac
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Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/31/2006 8:42 PM (GMT -6)   
she certainly does ellie!!! they have talked about a restraining order, but to be honest her mum wouldn't care, hopefully if she has to call the police out all the time, then maybe they can get the ball moving on something being done about it

you are so right, she shouldn't have to put up with it, and neither should her husband and kids!!!

sandra xx

Howlyncat
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   Posted 8/31/2006 10:34 PM (GMT -6)   
I really believe it is time for tough love .....My mom had a way of pulling on my guilt strings we (Cait and I ) did all for her none of the other siblings did a thing except take money and us her credit cards and credit rating which was excellent .......I always was close to MOm but she played me kinda like a fine violin,.....and Cait
My doctor told me that Mom actually could cause me to be sick and he was right the stress would cause me to break out in sores and crohns to act up ........I never hesitated nor did cait to do anything for her....
I loved Mom dearly and do not regret taking care of her but I do not feel she did what your SIL mom is doing to her .......It has to stop and I think that Elie is totally right on this whole thing .........Your Sil can and will suffer permanent damage ...will she come here to talk to us and have our support as well as the families support and concern?? I hope you ask her and let her know we are here to help if we can ....I feel so useless in this situation and I wish I could do more for her and all of you ......God Bless........Lyn
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SnowyLynne
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   Posted 8/31/2006 10:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree,get a restraining order & make it stick!!
SnowyLynne


Howlyncat
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   Posted 9/1/2006 2:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks snowy for your input.......
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mrs mac
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 9/1/2006 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks lyn, i know she has phoned Saneline, and they seem to be giving her some advice and support, i just want to be able to help her, but not staying near her any more, makes it really difficult, that's why i thought i would post here, to see if you guys had any ideas i could pass on to her!!!

i don't think she would come on here to be honest, she doesn't really go on the computer much at home, but i will pass on any thoughts you guys may have!!!

thank you so much

sandra xxx

Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/1/2006 9:56 PM (GMT -6)   
There is a book the 36 hr day I hace read it over and over it is a good book IMO.......maybe she could borrow from the library..........It is or was expensive if she has not got the funds I can and will LEND it to her and you to read .......Let me know and if its a yes I will send it to u........take care hun love and prayers coming your way and hers as well........Alzinfo.Org has a good lot of info in there as well it is in the HW resources at the yellow bar at side


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 Let That Strong Spirit Be Your Guide
 
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
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Post Edited (Lyn (Howlyncat)) : 9/6/2006 1:21:56 PM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/6/2006 2:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Bump
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 Let That Strong Spirit Be Your Guide
 
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
    Dont Comprimise Yourself....You Are All You've Got

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