parents live in assisted living - need advice badly

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

janet s.
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 10/2/2006 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Both of my parents are in their 80's with my mom having dementia. I don't know if she has Alzheimers or not, but since she's so happy all the time, I don't want her to have any additional testing. My dad is older than her (he just turned 89) and I just can't seem to get things through his head. Sometimes he gives blank stares, but at other times he can sit and read the NY Times.

They live in an assisted living facility about 20 mins. away from my home. I cannot visit there every day since I have my own life to live and I suffer badly from anxiety and depression.

Anyway, there is no social worker on site, nor any coordinator of their care. It has come to the point that when medical issues arise, they don't know what's going on, don't know to contact their doctor, etc. My dad doesn't understand what dementia really is. He just thinks my mother's problem is loss of memory, but I can't explain to him that it is so much more. He is also deaf with a hearing aid, so I don't know when he can't hear me or when he doesn't grasp what I am saying and what it means.

The executive director is the main person in the operation of this assisted living. There is no law in the State of NJ that requires any assisted living to have a social worker on site, but what is more frightening is that there is no social worker even on the outside to confer with regarding my parents. I don't have any money to help them, but my parents are covered by AARP & Medicare.

How can I go about getting a social worker or someone in a similar position to either help me directly or guide me along on a path leading to someone else who can help me.

Do any of you have any ideas or suggestions? I'd appreciate any replies. Thank you!!

SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 10/2/2006 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I doubt that you can,as their rules are much different that a Nursing Home.If she progresses to a certain point she will need a NH as they are not equipt to deal with dementia.
SnowyLynne


janet s.
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 10/2/2006 7:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Forget that - nursing home - duh!

What you are saying is not always the case. My mother can stay there and go into the "memory unit" if need be. She is only in the beginning stages of dementia at this time, although I do know that it can progress quickly. Right now, I am taking one day at a time.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/3/2006 5:58 AM (GMT -7)   
HI there and Welcome
I am in Canada and here the Assissted Living Units do have everything on site .I would call around to some more gov agencyies such as the Alzheimers Society of your State and Social Services
Welcome to HW an di am so sorry for all that is going on I looked after mom till she passed this yr and now look after my step dad who is going downhill fast .Try the resources at the side as well in yellow and Alzinfo .Com .Maybe someone can give you a bit of help and point you in right direction
Post and let me know how you make out okay ......
Take care
Lyn
BTW Janet we also have an Anxiety /Panic forum here as well if you need to vent a bit we are here for you please do check it out
Lyn 


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 10/3/2006 7:14:47 AM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/6/2006 3:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Bumping
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 3:48 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,789 posts in 301,336 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151436 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, george252.
151 Guest(s), 1 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
UC prisoner


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer