My Dad ...........

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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/11/2006 4:09 AM (GMT -6)   
sad ...........My dad is drifting away he will not leave the house him and Mom shared ,he is really heartbroken and in a slump last few weeks .He spends his time in one room his den and has a five bdrm home which is going to cost plenty to repair and fix up before it is ever sold .I dont care about that at all I will finance that without question what I do care about though is I CANNOT FIX DAD
It has been almost 8 mths and I know I still find it severly difficult so I know he has got to be in so much pain and so dang lonely for her
You are with someone 40 + yrs and then they are gone
My younger sister treats him like a baby and this he despises but he wont say anything to her
This warm and giving loving man took in 3 kids that were not his and treated us no different then his bio daughter as a matter of fact him and I are the closest still always  have been
Peeps up town are "talking" about how sick he looks and we ( cait Howie and I ) as well as some close friends hear al this and that "he wont be alive in another month " crap 
Do they not know the pain that sets up in all of us especially Cait or moreso perhaps they do and dont care..................................................
I make sure he eats but he is dropping weight so fast ...........he is a broken man
He is not Dad yet he is................. does that make sense to anyone ..........
Cherish your parents if you have the chance please...............
God Bless......
Lyn
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/12/2006 3:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Days are shorter he wanders more ........I feel I am going to lose him too
I dont think he knows or sees a reason for being here any longer
I despise what this DD does to our Loved ones
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CharleyRice1931
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Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 397
   Posted 10/12/2006 9:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh Lyn, words can't express how sad I feel for you and family. Our greatest gifts are only on loan, hold them close while you can, be gentle and thankful. I'm sure your Dad is all what I always dreamed a Dad might be. I have lost count of the times I thought I was losing Jean. Please God give you a strong back to carry this cross. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May your God go with you. Padraig

Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/12/2006 10:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much you have no idea what your words mean to me I know they are not just words but true feelings of a very gentle loving man
God Bless........
Lyn
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inert
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 10/12/2006 10:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Lyn, your letter brought tears to my eyes. You help so many people on this forum with your words of encouragement. I wish I could begin to do as much for you. Life is so painful sometimes and this stupid disease is definely not fair. My heart and prayers go out to you. All you can do for your Dad is give him your love, Try not to listen to what people in town say, they don't know your life and they should mind their own business..........Inert

Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/12/2006 11:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks so much I also am in tears I really do despise this DD what right
what does it have to do to them and us before we want to break in little pieces
Thanks so much for being here
Luvs ya
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/13/2006 4:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks all for helping me thru a very tiring emotional day yesterday
God Bless
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/17/2006 7:30 AM (GMT -6)   
dad came here the other day saw the pics of Mom and swore it was me I was so broken hearted and then he said he had to go home and make "Judy's " supper
I rellay wish he could grasp that she is gone but then I know in my heart once that is done he will give up n just go with a very broken heart believe me ppl can die from a broken heart ......
I want to thank all of you for you love and support it means the world to me ......
Take care all and God Bless
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/18/2006 3:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Am taking dad to Market today it is one of his favorite things to do so we do this each Wednesday
he talks away to all the vendors and they are so ggod and polite with him
That makes me kno there are ppl out there that still do care
God Bless
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/20/2006 4:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Had a great day but very long
got some good deals and spent fun time with dad
Just the medicine doc ordered
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/22/2006 4:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Dad got himself all upset seeing the IV in me again .......he has seen them for yrs , But forgets
I just told him the truth it was antibiotics and not worry himself over something so silly lol
Other than that he is not doing to bad but surely not himself
I found blister packs with Restoril in them about 39 of them (pgks) I asked him if he been taking them to sleep and was told yes sometimes........
I now have them here at home with me and will ask the doc as I don't think he should take these
They were Moms from yrs ago that would make him moody confused and miserable at times IMO
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/30/2006 4:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Dad seems to be less moody now that those meds are out of house they are definitely meds not for dementia /alzheimers at all
He is still going down hill but I am getting more memories with him as is caitlyn
He seems so afraid and so dang alone
i try to be there but I canot always do it all myself I have told siblings to step up as I am quite ill myself and could use the help
Just playing the "waiting game " with them all
I am hoping it wont be long for them to help out
God Bless
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/31/2006 5:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Dad I miss the you and I love you so much
Your lil girl
Luv ta ya
your daughter


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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


mrs mac
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 11/7/2006 8:44 AM (GMT -6)   
lyn, my heart goes out to you!!!

i know how you feel honey, i too had to watch my dad go down hill fast, though with him it wasnt AD or Dementia, Dad had heart problems and was diabetic, and went through 9 months of watching his health deteriorate.

there is nothing harder than losing a parent, my dad was 58 when he died!!!

i hope that things settle with him soon and you can find a way to make him happy if even for a short while!!!

what lyn says is so true, you should treasure the time you have with your parents cause they won't be around forever!!!

take care Sandra xxxxxxx

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/7/2006 11:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Sis
So good to hear from you
How have you been have not heard from you for so long seems forever ............

Dad really never had it hit home with him about Mom and still calls me by her name at times or will make her a cup of coffee as was his routine .....Mom would cough and dad would have her cup there second cough meant next cup lol
They had given all of us kids so much and it angers me so much that none of the others will do anythig for Dad now that Mom i gone along with the money ya know
Mom was the "accountant" well she thougt she was I had to do all banking and everything but they would go behind my back and get her to give them her Credit cards and she also had an open line of credit at Sctia bank here in Canada (which cheque is basically cash ) and they did a number on that I am still sorting thru so much of it all and finding things about all of them that angers me to no END.......
I found that younger sister got Mom to buy her a car for 5000.00......with arrangements to pay $200 per month ..2 payments made
Her daughter and B/F got Mom supposedly to be a co signer for a big screen TV and stereo .well turns out Mom was the actual signer and now because she died they owe nothing:IMO they should be paying Dad this monies owed monthly
so in all the things they got from her for nothing is sickening and THEY feel no guilt no remorse
How can they live with selves
They never cleaned her up took her to appointments NOTHING except take advantage of her


BUT nor do they have the memories I have of her and the time I spent with her and the gift she was to me and my daughter.......
We got to share so much with her not monetarily but emotionally and lovingly and to me thats what they missed out on and thats why I can hold my head HIGH knowing I gave and did all I coulf for Mom
Same as with Dad I too am the only one (howie and cait) that do anything for himUNLESS they get something out of it ya know ...........

I will find it hard to lose Dad as I have always been closer although he is not biological father he is mine in all senses of the word and has always been there for me .........Never once did he give up on me and I was a realy bad teen lol got into everything ( grew up in 50's ) lol so...........I treasure each and every moment with him then and now and I know I will be glad for it
Sandra thanks so much as you can see I needed to get that off my chest and I want you to know I appreciate your love and friendship in so many ways
you are my special Angel
God Bless
Love ya sis
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


mrs mac
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 11/7/2006 11:36 AM (GMT -6)   
ok, so now you have brought tears to my eyes lyn!!! lol

seriously i know i am so many hundreds of miles away from you, you know you will always have my support, and i will always try and help to comfort you in any way that i can

you vent away any time you want, i will always listen

take care of you and your family too, as well as your dad, you need to make sure you are ok !!

as for what your family have done, unfortunately there is nothing you can do to change that, but at the end of the day, you will always be the one whose concience is clear, and that will be rewarded in the end

sandra xxxx
 
forgot to add, am doing ok, have had a bit of a cold, wrist improving but still not 100%, but will get there, just getting organised for Christmas just now, but all family are well just now xxxxxxxxx

Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/8/2006 4:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks sis for your care and support it means more than words can EVER express
Glad you are doing better and family too
I also am trying too get going inot the Christmas Spirit
Will be first one w/o mom and I know that will be hard but I am determined to make her part of it all anyway
Please keep me posted on how you are doing I have missed you immensely and think of you always
And YES at the end of each day my concious is clear and I do hold head up for I know I have made dad have another good day
God Bless
We go to market today so that is something we both enjoy always have done together
Take care hun and keep in touch
love ya
lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/16/2006 8:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Dad and I went to market yesterday a very long day he is getting worse it seems I cant keep him in reality to long before he he is slipping again..........
I am now moving him in with me I fear for his safety the tables have turned and now I need to look after him
God Bless
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


Suzy2
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Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 335
   Posted 11/16/2006 10:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Lyn did any of your family help out in the end? I am concerned for you because from what I have read of your posts it seems that your health is not too good either. I know moving your dad in with you seems the right thing to do,but will you cope ok? Can you get any outside help at all?

Like you with your dad,I sometimes take my Sister to the market. She always used to love Wednesdays because it was Antique market. But now if I stop and point somthing out to her that I think she would like to see she just seems to be anxious as if she cant wait to get out of there. its so sad.


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/17/2006 5:22 AM (GMT -6)   
That and yard saling is about the only thing I can do that he likes and will pay attention to
Yes you are right my health is very fragile BUT I have no others to help out I will get some help with respite care and home care I know my way around those places lol
been in the business to long or was
Thanks sis for your support and concern
it means the worls to me
How are you doing
Take care '
Luvs ya
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/19/2006 1:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Lynn,

I'm sorry I've dissapeared sooooo long.

Sending you a great big gentle hug and really feeling your pain. Sounds like your dad is working his way toward your mom. *sigh* Its certainly been a l-o-n-g, tough year for you sis.

Glad you are able to express yourself here.

I hope you are taking care of yourself.

Love and blessings!!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, Carpal Tunnel both wrists, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
RX Meds: Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Hydrochlorothiazide, Lisinopril, Panlor SS   -   OTC Supplements: Folic Acid, Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D, Glucosamine, MSM, Salmon Oil, Flaxseed Oil)
 
Healing Well:  Lupus Resources
Lupus Foundation of America (LFA) Facts and Overview: Lupus.Org
Criterea for Diagnosing Lupus:  Lupus Criterea 
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/19/2006 5:15 AM (GMT -6)   
So good to hear from you sis
HOW are you doing
things are not great for you either I bet
How is your Dad doing and Mom holding up ??
Hope to hear more from you
miss you lots
Be well and all the best
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 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 


mrs mac
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 11/19/2006 10:41 AM (GMT -6)   
hey lynn am so sorry to hear that it has reached the stage where you need to move your dad in with you!!
 
it is good that you know your way round the system, cause you will need help with your Dad, you cannot do it all on your own!!!! nono nono
 
it is just such a shame that it has all been left to you to organise, families eh!!!
 
please remember to take care of you too, or you will be of no use to your poor old dad
 
thinking of you always
 
sandra xxxxxx

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/19/2006 11:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Lynn,

I have been feeling WAY better in general. My feet feel almost normal if I keep my cushy shoes on. I still have to pace myself, but am doing way more.

Mom actually seems to be dealing better recently. Dad is now in the throws of incontinance (both ways). We can't get him into depends, but I brought mom some inserts for his underpants and she can get away with that sometimes.

You and you dad are in my prayers.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, Carpal Tunnel both wrists, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
RX Meds: Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Hydrochlorothiazide, Lisinopril, Panlor SS   -   OTC Supplements: Folic Acid, Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D, Glucosamine, MSM, Salmon Oil, Flaxseed Oil)
 
Healing Well:  Lupus Resources
Lupus Foundation of America (LFA) Facts and Overview: Lupus.Org
Criterea for Diagnosing Lupus:  Lupus Criterea 
Find a Lupus Foundation Chapter near you: Lupus Chapter Locator


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/20/2006 4:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Sandra hun thanks
Yes thankfully ( or ?) I do know way around the system and still have contacts in the Adult Protection Services and Community Access Care Association
THis will sure be handy for me
I know it is hard to do but I am the only one stepping up to the plate
Hmmmm they seem to have forgot all he did for them
I know I can hold head high at end of day and to me thats what counts Can They? I seriously doubt it
Thanks for your post and please keep in touch
Loves ya
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 

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