Finally ............I Broke..........

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/18/2006 1:57 AM (GMT -7)   
 Morning all
I had a couple of days where I was certainly not me
I had not allowed self to cry nor grieve over Mom I guess I felt if I did it would mean she was really "gone " ya know   sad
I did go into total meltdown scaring myself Howie Cait and lil one so badly I was going to be taken to hospital
I finally came out of it and thats with the help of all of you whether you realize it or not
You are my strength and make me go on
For this and for each of you I am forever in your debt
God Bless
Lyn


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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/30/2006 2:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I am doing so much better now that I have come to the realization that Mom is gone and wont be back that I will never see her until we meet up there once again
Now I look forward to that
No I dont want to die yet I am just happy in th fact that I will see her again
Did a Native Memorial for her which also helped me and and that was so warm and breath takingly beautiful
I know she would have approved of that for sure
So thanks to all for getting me thru such a very rough time in my life once again
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


CharleyRice1931
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 397
   Posted 10/30/2006 6:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lyn, you will always miss having your Mom to speak, but I'm sure you know what riches she installed in you. You have her genes and maybe her smile and the gift of love. Haven't you said your Dad sometimes mistakes you for her? I believe she still lives through you, I doubt she could have left better gifts. Take strength from her. May your God go with you. Padraig.   

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/30/2006 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much you my friend and adopted grampa
are as well my Guardian Angel
You always know how to make my day and yes I do look like mom I do have her smile and her eyes
so yes I am living proof she was here I ahd to come to terms with this
I finally did
Thanks for always being here for me even with all you do and go thur /have gone thru in your life
You are warm sweet caring giving and so loving
Thanks so much
Love and God Bless
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/21/2006 3:04 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been doing so much better yet my doc wants me to write Mom a letter telling her things I know I need to get off my chest
I believe he is right it will help for sure
I still look for her everywhere and think of her all the time
That too will get better
Thanks for being here for me all
God Bless
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/22/2006 3:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Working on that letter
Not finding it too easy and it is emotionally draining
but I shall get thru this too
Thanks all
God Bless
Luvs
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 


Suzy2
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 335
   Posted 11/22/2006 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lyn. I want to say that I am thinking of you and your struggle with the letter writing and everything. I can imagine like you said already that it will be an emotionaly draining thing to do ,but once it is done you will probably feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

I would also like to add that although I dont always know how to respond to some of your posts,I do read them and I do apreciate the time and effort that you put into this board even though you have a full plate.

Thanks lyn and look after yourself :-)
 
You are so right the letter is draining but in its way it is helping me to cope with all of this ,I am also looking after my step dad who is going downhill quite fast and that really hurts like Hades........We do get thru things with my God and ppl like you and Sadra and Padraig,Rabbin Snowy lol all of you ..........Thanks again so much for being here always
I find being on this forum helps me to fulfill my love for nursing and especially geriatrics .........I saw so much in my yrs nursing and I know I need to help others if possible to keep my sanity ......
God Bless sis and be well
Luvs Lyn

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 11/22/2006 10:06:33 AM (GMT-7)


mrs mac
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 11/22/2006 9:03 AM (GMT -7)   
hi lyn (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

am glad you are finally letting go, it does help!!!! I remember when my dad died, it came to Fathers Day that same year, and i knew i just had to buy him a card!!!! i never did write anything in it, but knew all the same that i had to buy it for him, it did help a bit!!!

what i am trying to say is, we do what we have to for our own coping mechanisms, there is no right or wrong way to do it, everyones is different from our own!!!!

you deal with it whatever way you feel comfortable with, and just remember we are all here with you every step of the way


sandra xxxxx

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/22/2006 9:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much my sweet friend I do need you's right now and I am glad I have you in my corner
be well and take care
Luvs ya
God Bless
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/22/2006 10:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Sandra .........thanks so much for your concern and care as I told Bag Lady I do need you's now more than ever and I am really glad I have you's in my corner
You' will never know exactly what this means and does for my heart and soul
Take care and be well
Luvs Lyn
God Bless
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/23/2006 3:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Came across a Christmas ornament Mom gave me at least 25 yrs ago
Brought tears of Joy to my eyes and some sadness to heart
God Bless
Lyn


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 11/23/2006 5:12:59 PM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/23/2006 5:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Almost done with letter getting harder with every memory but I know it needs to be done
God Bless
Take care
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 

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