Just found out Mom has AD

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Melanie50
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 3/23/2007 10:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm new to this area.  I've posted before on chronic pain.  My mom was diagnosed a few month ago with AD but it has been coming on for awhile.  She is 81 years old and is going down hill fast.  My two brothers and I are going over to her house tomorrow to talk to her about moving her into an assisted living facility.  We've toured the facility and it's lovely.  Also my brother is on the Board of Directors of the place.
 
I'm sick at heart to be doing this.  I physically can't care for my mother and my brothers have their reasons as well.  Mom only lives a few blocks from me.  When she moves she'll be 20 minutes away.  I sound like a little girl missing her mommy, but we've always lived close to each other.  I feel like such a Judas for placing her in a home and I just don't know how to handle it.  All I do is cry.  I know it's in her best interests but I'm  just sick.  Someone please help me.  How do you handle this? 
 
Thanks.
 
 

Degenerative Disc Disease, Spinal Stenosis, Herniated Disc, Arthritis of the Spine, some kind of problem with the L5-S1 area, sciatica, diabetes, depression and anxiety.
 
 
Lord help me to remember that nothing will happen to me today that you and I can't handle together.


day2day
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/24/2007 5:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melanie. I'm sorry you & your family are having to deal with this.
Keeping your mom's safety & security in mind may make your decision of an assisted living facility easier on your heart & soul.
Hang in there.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/24/2007 1:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I do have a Thread about emotions and in one post I talk about not getting the Guilts if you are not physiccaly ,mentally or financially able to care for them at home
Alot of ppl just cannot
You have found a place your brother is involved in and very close to you
Personaly I think you are doing a great job in looking out for your Mom
I am so sorry about her DX and I do know how it feels
I lost Mom a yr ago and now look after Dad with same horrid disease
Stay with us please and read some of other threads
My info is under name if you would like to email me and talk more about this
You are being a very good daughter
Please DO NOT be so hard on self
LYN
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 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/24/2007 4:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I have brought some threads forward for you that may help do remember to check out Resources at the side in Yellow


LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  


Melanie50
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 3/24/2007 9:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the response and the support.  We met with mom today and the first hour was horrible.  Finally she sort of started to understand where we were coming from in that we love her and want her around for as long as possible.  It was truly heart breaking.  The only thing that helped was that I was so exhausted from the not sleeping and crying leading up to our meeting that I was almost numb when we met.
 
Lyn - I'm sorry for your loss of your mom and for you in the loss of your real dad even though he is still here with you.  Life seems to just knock the wind out of us on a continuous.  Five years ago my 25 year old daughter was in a drunk driving accident (she wasn't driving) and is now a quadriplegic.  God brought a wonderful man into her life and they were married on Sept 6, 2006.  We are so proud of them and I am especially proud of my daughter.  She is a very strong woman.
 
Thanks again for the support and for the references to read.
 
Take care!
 
 
Degenerative Disc Disease, Spinal Stenosis, Herniated Disc, Arthritis of the Spine, some kind of problem with the L5-S1 area, sciatica, diabetes, depression and anxiety.
 
 
Lord help me to remember that nothing will happen to me today that you and I can't handle together.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/25/2007 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   
No problem at all.......
Thanks for your kind words about Mo
it was and is very difficult for me and my daughter we both looked after all her needs and she went so suddenly as well so that too was hard

It is very hard what you had and have to deal with but please do not have GUILT
Sometimes we have to remember that we cannot do and be all especially when we ourselves are sick.........
I know you are heartbroken I really do but in the longrun you are doing what is best for her and for you thats what counts IMO.......
I would like you to stay posting and getting the SUPPORT you need from this site and know I am here for you at any time as will others be
I do know how you feel and I totally empathize with you

God Bless and please look after self
My dad is doing ok but he is basically going to go with a broken heart I know it and feel it
I am just waiting with bated breath feeling his pain for him
You be well and post again
REMEMBER I am here okay

LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  

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