My Nan has Alzheimers ..

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Lil_Angel
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 3/24/2007 11:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey iv popped over here from the depression forum, thought i would post here too. Well im 24 from UK and i have my nan living with me, she was diagnosed with Alzheimers about 5 years ago now. it hasnt been really bad, docs say because shes so active its held off, but the past couple of months have been really hard, im findin it hard to keep my temper, she is hard work! I work full time and i share the care with a cousin of mine - who gets paid for it! but as my cousin has children and i dont, she seems to leave all the work for me, she doesnt show her face from one day to the next unless she wants something! its getting me down, its all on my shoudlers. And at the moment my nan has such strong obsessions! the plugs have to all be turned off, wether we r in the room or not, im sick of findin the fridge turned off! all the lights in the house have to be off unless we r in the room, the house is in darkness!! all windows have to b locked even when we r in the house! she checks how hot the radiators are every two minutes,.. and much much more !! And my cousin doesnt work at all and her youngest just went to preschool so she has free days now.. but its me my nan rings beggin me to come home because she cant turn tv on or this n that!
She isnt fully dependant on me yet, she can go out on her own, shoppin and she goes bingo or visits the neighbours, but iv noticed that its gettin less and less.
 
arghhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!
 
sorry! i needed to vent it all out somehow! dont get me wrong, i love my nan to bits and i dont mind caring for her really, its just so hard at the moment, and i have my own problems too at the moment!
 
xxxxx


xXx Lil_Angel xXx


SnowyLynne
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   Posted 3/24/2007 11:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Is she not on medication to help her?
SnowyLynne


Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/24/2007 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I hope she is on meds
I am really sorry that you are dealing with this and I really think it is time you put foot down to PAID cousinn and let her know you cannot come home from work all the time and you need the help.........

If your nan is not on any meds I would suggest a visit to her Doc or Neuro and get her on something it is starting to get out of hand for her and you
She doesnt realize what she is doing most of time with lights ect......
I know it has to be frustrating for all

Have you checked into RESPITE care for a day or 2 week so you have down time as well??
Please do stay wit us and keep us posted okay
LYN
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/24/2007 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Brought forward some threads that may help you

LYN
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Lil_Angel
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 3/25/2007 8:50 AM (GMT -7)   
hey, thanks howlyncat :)

Well no my nan isnt on meds for her Alzheimers, only ones for her Heart trouble and Anti-depressants, when she was diagnosed the doctor said she was too far gone for any meds to do her any good, said there was nothing they could give her, we didnt believe her so we went to my nans consultant who told us exactly the same, they said that she has past the early stages a long time ago so nothing would do any good, they say there is something for her when she is in the very late stages but nothing until then. Last year she was so bad with her obssesions and worryin about everything, she was always tryin to start a fight! so we went back to the doctors and theyv gave her anti-depressants to calm her down - they have worked thank god but she still has her moments!

As for the respite, iv tried talking to my family before about it but no one is interested they only want family to care for her but noone else can be bothered but me, i didnt really have a choice, my nan has always lived with my family but when i was 19 my parents decided they needed a bigger house and they moved out with my brothers and sister and i was told i HAD to stay here and look after nan, so here i am 5 years later still in the same situation.
Hope that all makes sense im in a rush lol

Thanks for ur replies :)
xXx Lil_Angel xXx


Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/25/2007 10:56 AM (GMT -7)   
I am sure there has to be something that will or would help her with the really bad times ......
What is the antidepressant she is on if you dont mind??

I am sorry that your family does not help you I know firsthand how that feels I loked after MOm until her passing and now Dad and I am sick with Crohns as well as other diseases but they just do not 'Get It"

Respite care would be good for her she could make some friends be involved in some activities with ppl her age and so on
I would be putting my foot down if I were you as you are the one caring for her.........it is easy for them to say no they dont look after her nor are they being called home from work .......or have an illness like you

Many family members are like ours ...they tend to lave everything to one person and yes it is a great time to make memories and share in her life but it is also very physically and emotionally draining at times
Keep with us and post again

Have a good day .........
LYN
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Lil_Angel
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 3/25/2007 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
The Anit-depressant she is taking is called Mirtazapine.
I do get a break on a Sunday, one of my Aunts takes her out to bingo for the day and she has dinner there, and for two hours of a Monday she goes to an over 50s club and they take them out on day trips sometimes in the summer.
Its hard with the family because they dont see the changes in her everyday like i do, i have told them what shes like, i think deep down they know shes getting worse but they would rather believe she wasnt!
Shes 80 in August bless her :)
xXx Lil_Angel xXx


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 3/25/2007 12:01 PM (GMT -7)   
So TRUE.....Family members that do not see them daily do not see the changes that seem to occur everyday
I am glad that your Nan does go out giving you time to self.........
And I too have found that some of my siblings DO NOT accept the fact that Mom was with AD nor that Dad has it now ........maybe they dont want to
I see and know due to yrs of working as a Geriatric nurse and it was hard for me to accept that Mom had become stricken with the same disease that she worked with ppl in the same field as I all her life
Mom was the best as a nurse and a person with plenty of TLC to go around she was working in the office of my Retirement home when I started to notice things were just not "right" with her .......'Sad it was ......
Dad has gotten worse since she passed away still in his mind he thinks at times I am her and it is heartwrenching when he calls me Judy .....
But I will go to his level on very many things I do not let him think I am Mom I dont believe that is right and I say ....Dad its me Lyn......he justs says" Oh yah I forgot "......and we carry on
It is a hard road and load we carry hun but as I have said always at least I am and did make many a good memory with Mom and I am now with Dad ...................my siblings are missing out on that and it is so sad

Stay strong and know I am here if you need me and if you need to my email is under name okay
You are sure not alone on this

God Bless........
Give your Nan a hug for me bless her sweet soul......at 80 .....mom passed away in her 66th year way to young...dad is 73.......
Be well
Lyn
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Lil_Angel
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 3/26/2007 4:56 AM (GMT -7)   
hey lyn,
Sorry to hear about your mum and dad, you sound like a wonderful person caring for your mom and now your dad.
I know what you mean with ur dad calling u by your mums name, my nan calls me every family members name going, last week it took me two hours to convince her that i had a younger brother, the only way i could get her to realise i did was to ask him to come visit her, when he came round it was like we hadnt even had the conversation, my brother thought i was messing with him when i told him!

I also think she is trying to hide how bad it is getting, when she forgets someone or something and we talk about it she then says 'oh yeah of course i know now' but i know really when i look at her face she still hasnt got a clue, so i just drop it. Like i say it has held off for years now but the last few months i have seen a lot of change in her :( it makes me sad. but she is so stuburn, she resists help anyway she can. We found out she has cataracts in one of her eyes, it is so simple to fix but shes refused it, she has got about 18 months and then it will HAVE to be sorted.

She isnt too well at the moment, she has a bad cold and said she feels under the weather.

anyways i best get back to work!!
xXx Lil_Angel xXx


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/26/2007 12:43 PM (GMT -7)   
My thoughts and prayers are with you hun and yer precious Nan
I do know all you are feeling for sure
Come vent any time
I am here
LYN


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catwhisperer58
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Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 3/27/2007 1:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi I've jumped over from depression, because a big part of my problem is my Mom w/alz. She is in the end statges, can't walk, pureed food, diapers it's so so upsetting.
Catwhisperer58


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 3/27/2007 6:42 AM (GMT -7)   
HI there and glad you popped over
I am sorry about your Mom ...Mine passed away and I did the diapers everything for and with her
YES it is very hard frustrating at times and certainly upsetting
All I can tell you hun is make some memeories or try to and always know even in her last stages she /part of her brain does know you love and look after her
I am here for you as well
Please dont be a stranger here k and if you need to vent this is the place for sure
Read some of other threads as well
Hopw old is your mom mine was only 66 at death and Dad is 73 and stricken with this darn disease as well ....
WE are here for you.....alot of my Anxiety /panic and some depression I went thru was over parents and is still a big part of my life with my Da
Luvs and God Bless
LYN


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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 3/27/2007 5:08:25 PM (GMT-6)


Lil_Angel
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 3/29/2007 11:38 AM (GMT -7)   
hey catwhisperer, sorry to hear about ur mum ((( hugs ))) it must be very very hard for you to see ur mom going thru everything.. i find it upsettin with my nan but its not got that bad yet thankgod, just thinking about it getting that bad makes me cry :(
If u need to talk iv found it so helpful on here or u can mail me if u like :)

Hey lyn, how r u? iv been reading posts, your posts are very inspirational, very helpful, i enjoyed reading the ones where you spoke about ur mums happy place and ur memories of her :)

Things r ok i s'pose here, nan is over her cold now, back to her 'normal' self. She keeps losing things, she put my earings in a safe place so they didnt get lost, but she has forgotten where the safe place is.. gone forever now probably :(
The past couple of days she has been in a really good mood and has been feeling well in herself, is nice to see her happy, just waiting for the down!!
If u want to email me, iv added my addy to my profile :)
Best go sort dinner out for my nan.
Bye for now xxx
xXx Lil_Angel xXx


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/29/2007 1:01 PM (GMT -7)   
catwhispers..
Please know that you are not alone with your feelings and what you are going thru
I have a thread for Caregivers and Emotions they may encounter ....I would suggest perhaps reading it and if you have something to ask about go ahead and ask on the thread and I will get staight to you as soon as I can
I will be gone tomorrow as I have to go to Toronto with my daughter for Orientation on the Page program she has been accepted for in our Government .....
It is a 3 to 4 hr trip from here and about 5 hrs of orientation so I will not be back to the baords trill most likely late tomorrow night or first thing Saturday

I do feel you anguish and pain but I also implore you to try to put yourself in your moms place and feel a bit of how hard this has to be for her as well .......

God Bless
Lyn
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 4/3/2007 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Lil Angel
Thanks for asking
I amnot doing to bad I am now trying to deal with my daughter Cait ...she has strep thraot and a viral infection in chest sounds kinda like a croup cough and hurts me to see her so sick and orn out ....giving her plenty of Vitamin "C" as well as other meds the doc ordered her for the temp and headaches /sore swollen thraot
One thing after another
BUT I know God never gives me more than I can handle right ,,,,,,,,,
My mom always put things away so they were " safe" lol but she never remembered where either
I have found plenty of things she stored away since she passed

I know I am the one that looks the most like Mom have her big brown eyes and most of her features so it does kinda throw dad off it hurts yet it also makes my heart swell at the same time .....does that make sense ........
Mom did and dad does same thing about convos he will say Oh ya I remember now but like you say just one look at their faces tells you different
Most times it is better to go to their world ......it wont hurt them and somehow it helps the connection IMO..
I am sure others would differ but I have always done this even when in Nursing so habit is hard to break and I feel it is a good one anyways for me ......

So sorry about your Nan and I sure hope she doesnt catch this horrid viral thing gaoing around all over the world right now (even flu shot is not preventing it ) ...........just make sure she is well hydrated and if not to hungrgy make her those shakes and the ice cream wont hurt

If no allergies to Peanut butter you can make really quick n easy SOFT PB cookies full of many nutrients for her
1 egg
1 cup of peanut butter
1 cup of sugar

Mix with a fork and spoon onto a tray cook at 350 degrees for 6 to 8 minutes
** dont press them down let the spoonful just be on the tray **
I made these all the time for mom and make them occasionally for dad
Daughter loves them too
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet nan
God Bless
LYN
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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 4/4/2007 9:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Catwhispers and Lil Angel
How are you both doing
Post and let me knwo when you have time k

LYN
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Lil_Angel
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/4/2007 11:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Lyn,
Not long got in from work, shattered! Things are going great with nan, shes been in a really good mood past couple of days, its been lovely, can have proper conversations with her, although more and more things keep getting put in a 'safe' place eyes . And she gave up smoking about 10 years ago due to medical problems, but recently she keeps telling me shes craving for one.
Things arent too good with me, depression and other things are getting to me at the moment, s'pose its everything getting on top of me. Just feeling really down sad
 
Sorry to hear about ur daughter being ill, hope she gets better soon.
How are things with you and your dad?
Thanks for that recipe, will have to try it :-)
 
xxxxx

xXx Lil_Angel xXx


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/4/2007 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Take some me time hun and unravel from your workday
Glad your nan is doing so well
lol gotta love those " safe places"
I am so sorry the ugly head of depression rearing up at you again
I wish I could just make it all go away but we know thats not possible so I will be here for you ......I am sure it is everything going on around you and all that is expected of you ...I hear ya there I do for sure

Daughter feeling better but her BD is tomorrow and we are in for a huge snow storm and lots of snow so that will bring her down a bit I think
Hoping the laptop getting her will help out with that........ lol

Know I am here as are others to support you thru this okay
I will be on in the am as long as weather isnt too too bad as I have to shut puter down if it gets real bad like it is supposed to do
Take care sweetie and try to be well

Luvs
LYN
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Lil_Angel
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/15/2007 5:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hiyas, sorry its been soooooooooooo long ! things have been pretty rubbish lately for me and last week the one night i get to go out some grrrrr person decides to spike my drink, i ended up collapsing in the toilets and an ambulance was called. i was in hospital for ages!! i dont remember most of what happened, just a blur really. so i went away in the week for a few days to chill out, got back lastnight. Nan is ok, she was upset tht i didnt come home from the pub when i told her i would but one of my family members had to come and sit with her til she went to sleep. hope everyone is doin ok, hows u LYN?

xxxx
xXx Lil_Angel xXx


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/15/2007 7:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Spiked your dring..........OMG
R you okay I hope there is not going to be any after effects
What a bloody idiot that did that
Sad when you cannot trust ppl when you go out

I am sure your nan will have done just fine w/o you for a few days
YOU need down time too .......

I am not bad nerves are on full alert Cait leaves in 6 days and I am so stressed about it all
She has never been away from me and I will be here all by my lonesome for a whole month cept for my animals ........

Be well hun and post again k
Love to you and your Nan


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Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 4/28/2007 4:01:51 PM (GMT-6)


Lil_Angel
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/15/2007 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I dont remember much about the whole night, but thats what the drug does to you, was horrible, i just remember being very scared and not knowing what to do. i was so ill for a few days after, i havnt drank alcohol since, kinda put me off lol - mayb thats a good thing lol.
 
Was good to get away, even though i rang my nan everyday to check she was ok lol, but i had a good time.
darn back to work 2moro after having a week off sad
 
Wheres Cait going?
I sent u an email, im not sure if u got it because my laptop if playin up on me at the mo and it froze while it was sending! grrrr lol.
xxx
xXx Lil_Angel xXx


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/28/2007 3:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Not too sure been real sick myself

Cait went to Toronto to be a Page in the Legislation in Parliament
Quite proud I am but I am really lonely w/o her

Keeping self busy doing things as much as health allows with dad have to have more intervention from siblings and they were all told lol
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Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/28/2007 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Holyncat

I am sorry that you are feeling so sick. 

VIEW IMAGE


 
Respectfully
 
Kitt
 
Depression 25 years, Husband Crohns Disease 30 years
__________________________________________________ 
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”
Rosalyn Carter
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/29/2007 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so MUCH
I really appreciate your caring and support
Be well

Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
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Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/17/2007 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   
How are yous making out Lil Angel,Catwhispers and Kitt??
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
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Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
                   ONE step..Leads to MORE 
                       
 God Bless
   LYN                               
                          
                                  

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