Mom ...Part Two.......Another Mother's Day w/o you ......

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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/11/2007 5:56 AM (GMT -6)   
 This year I am finding it just as hard to not have you here....your ashes are ready to be picked up BUT is it selfish of me NOT to want them for Mother's Day??
 
I dont want to remember all the rest of my mothers days with your ashes being given to me ya know
 
I have a firm belief it is not right nor fair for Cait either to have to have this hanging over us
 
After yes I want them with all my heart for some proper closure but not this weekend cannot do it ........
 
Am I being wrong here Mom ??
I dont think I am but I am not playing with a full deck lately dad is not well at all he and i both broke down on Wednesday after market when came home to calls and a letter from the cemetary
It has been a yr and months ( 15 months actually)
WHY NOW
 
I keep asking myself  
 I wont have you and I wont have Cait nor Grammy even Rick is being made to go to Jens family's once again.......It hurts Mom I have no one here to celebrate with and I don like it at all ...
 
Just another day til Cait comes home following weekend ........
 
I wish I had done more and said more to you while you were still  here theres so much left unsaid
Loving you always MOM
 
Your daughter .....and Grandaughter
 ***

Always remember to tell your loved ones daily what they mean to you ........

There will copme a time you will not be able to other than thru prayer n stars and thats ok but still it hurts when you cannot see nor hug them .


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   LYN                               
                          
                                  

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 5/11/2007 5:05:58 AM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/11/2007 5:11 PM (GMT -6)   
MOm
Today your Grandaughter sent me a beautiful bouquet of our favorite flowers

I was in total shock still am and yes I am still crying

She is such a beautiful and warm giving loving and empathetic young Lady

She would make any Mother PROUD

Love ya and miss you so
Your Daughter
LYN
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Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/13/2007 8:16 AM (GMT -6)   
MOM
I miss you so much but i know u are up there looking down on me

LOVING YOU FOREVER
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Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
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Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/14/2007 10:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for everything you had ever done for me and
continue to do even from up there Mom
Love you dearly
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Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
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Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/3/2007 12:06 PM (GMT -6)   
MOM
Yes you are with HIM up there but your ashes are now in your home where you grew up on the reserve
I thought it over so much and figured this was the best tribute to you and your memory
To have you back with your Ancestors

I had to have permission from Elder Council but that was easily done when situation was explained

I am feeling good about this mom ........you have all the right to be in the place you were born

Love your daughter

LYN
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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/8/2007 4:59 AM (GMT -6)   
I only put some of your ashes there Mom ad
Yesterday dad and I got it together and he finally decided it was right to have a bit of you by your fav Rose bush

We cried and held one another

He misses you so .......

** Till he walks with you again.......**

Luv your daughter

LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
 Your Mind is like a Parachute...Works better when IT IS Open
 
 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  

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