it all adds up

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surviveandthrive
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 6/11/2007 4:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Lyn, as a followup to your post to me about how I am doing: I wrote a rather long reply and was confused about why things were so bad for me lately and then felt very selfish. After all, my caregiving days are over and I am left with memories, good, sad, frustrating but overwhelmingly great. I know, after writing back to you, why things are so difficult for me right now. Suffering from Anxiety/panic disorder and depression, I have just been incredibly down. With my anxiety disorder, I tend to hide away and become very reclusive when the panic and anxiety start to well up. That is what I have done. Being prone to agoraphobia, I should not do this. but I have not left the house in over two weeks and have even cancelled doctor appointments because I am ashamed to admit how low I have gotten. What a curse, shame. I do it to myself, and I am very good at it. So, after writing back to you, I reread what I wrote and had one of those lightbulb moments: I called and made an appointment with my psychiatrist and therapist for this afternoon, after telling the receptionist how bad I was. What a good thing to do. With the appointment coming within hours, I cannot cancel w/out having to pay a huge late cancellation fee which insurance doesn't cover. So I will go. I will clean myself up, force myself into town, and let my doctor know how bad things have been. Surely, things will improve then. Admitting a big slump is half my battle to getting through it. So thanks again. It gave me a push to figure all this out. HOPE.........
LE
Like my screen name.....I have survived so much and aim to thrive from all the experiences I have had. It must be possible and I will never stop trying!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/12/2007 4:49 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so pleased you had your .....AH HA moment my friend and even more pleased that you are going to go to this appointment
It is going to be rough I know this for you
BUT know I am on your shoulder and with you in Spirit (hmmmm I dont think we need to tell Pdoc that lol)

Please keep me in the loop I do know some of what you are feeling I was a geriatric charge nurse and Nurse Aide before that as well did Home health care so I too am grieving the "loss" of what my day was filled with and the love and caring I had for all those ppl I looked after

I do feel your pain ....

I am so PROUD of you
Hold your head high hun
You are taking steps and thats the best way to go at this ........

Luvs
LYN
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LYN    
                                  

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