Sometimes You Need to Go to Their World .........

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Howlyncat
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   Posted 7/10/2007 5:31 AM (GMT -7)   
nono  NO I am not saying Blatantly Lie to them at all but I am saying that sometimes for their sake and piece of mind you need to go into their world with them
 
Listen to them and agree with them not argue as that will not work IMHO
 
THey still may have thoughts and memories of the past it wont hurt you to go with them as long as IT WONT HURT THEM 
 
Take them thru old photos down memory lane and such let them know you do know and empathize with them .........
 
I am sure more have ideas to post
 
God Bless
Our Seniors and Caregivers


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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 7/24/2007 2:37:10 PM (GMT-6)


minmark
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   Posted 7/10/2007 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   
It's true, we have to go to their world so they could feel our presence, support and sympathy. Have a reminiscense of our happy memories, when we were a child playing with them, wonderful events, like birthdays, receiving  awards in school, graduations,w eddings... all of these might bring happiness with them...Play the music, their old favorite songs, sing with them, who  knows these memories are still in the corner of their mind and heart. only they could not express it. But if you will observe their reaction you will notice a sparkle in their eyes, a shining in their smile, that mean to say, they're with us at that moment.We touch their heart. The memories are still there...only you need to go to their world.

Howlyncat
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   Posted 7/10/2007 7:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I do see that sparkle with Dad when I play " Jonnie Ray" or the old Big Bands "
Dad use to love to drum and he was good at it he still drums away lightly with fingers and to perfect BEAT whena song comes on he especially loves

Thanks MM for your input
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minmark
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   Posted 7/10/2007 1:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Go to their world...

This is a story of one of our resident in our facilty for more tahn six years. A husband, he moved in when he was in the middle stage of the disease. We witnessed the progression of the disease until to the end stage when he expired.
The wife since the day her husband moved in, you can count on your finger the days that she wasn't here to see her husband. She's talking to him, talling stories about their love and marriage, she's feeding him. Although she's not getting any respond fron her husband, she keeps on doing this.Until one time, to her surprised, while the wife was holding his hand, the husband kissed her hand. The wife hug him tightly and we saw there was a tears in the eyes of his husband.

As the wife said, " I know he's still here. And I want him to feel that he is being love, that I'm here beside him. I wan't him to feel my presence." And every 5 pm that she says goodbye, although the husband was not saying a word, you can see the loneliness in his face. They're not talking, but you can see in their face if they are lonely, if they are angry or if they are happy. Memory is lost but not their instinct as a human being who need to be loved and cherissed.

Howlyncat
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   Posted 7/11/2007 2:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks MM
That is so true and thanks for sharing this story

Lyn
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 Your Mind is like a Parachute...Works better when IT IS Open
 
 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  


Howlyncat
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   Posted 7/24/2007 1:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I am very emotional today and this story has brought me to tears
Thanks again for posting


I did so much of this with Mom before she passed and continue to do it with DAD

They are still " in there" ..................

LYN
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 Your Mind is like a Parachute...Works better when IT IS Open
 
 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  


minmark
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   Posted 7/25/2007 5:02 PM (GMT -7)   
               Sometimes you Need to Go to Their World
 
This is one of my favorite posting...why? Because I'm one of them. I know exactly who they are and what they need. Everyday is a struggle for me. I'm still working full time to residential care facility for the elderly to support my children. I have two teens who depends on me. I"m not ready to lose my job so I have to prove to my employer that I'm still worthwhile to the company. So I give my best in my job. I belong to the residents. Sixteen years of Parkinsons is no joke. I know the agony and misery of being sick. So I sing with them. We play cards, we do exercise, arts and crafts, I really spend my time with them. Some of them are really out of reality, but still they deserve to be loved. It certainly gives a happy feeling when you see them smiling. They know that they are being love when you hold their hands, when you comb their hair, pat their shoulders, or give the a little massage.
They can not communicate but they can express their feelings thru their senses.
 
Go to their world to share your feeling with them. Share your happiness, your blessings and most of all...YOUR LOVE.

Howlyncat
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   Posted 7/26/2007 6:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much for that
You have really said a heartful of loving words there and I know you are truly an Angel with your ppl you care for

be well

Luvs
LYN
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 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
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 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  


minmark
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   Posted 7/26/2007 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Be thankful for the difficult times...during those times we grow. I love this quotation and you can adapt it to our daily living. It's hard to be sick, physically. emotionally, financially, the whole family is affected. If you are one sided and see anly the negative side, you will be depressed. It's difficult everyday is a struggle. But I look at this difficulties as a challenge. Difficult times make you a strong person. The more I'm determined to win the battle against Parkinson's Disease. Difficult times is my inspiration to strive more for the better. I don't stop researching how to delay the progression of PD. And I'm winning everyday. I don't let my PD to be an obstacle in enjoying a normal life. As if I'm not sick. I keep on walking even my feet are twisting. Then after several steps I will notice that I'm already wallking straight. From crooked to straight because of your will to walk.
Difficult times develop my courage and determination to succeed. I know you can do it too.

Howlyncat
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   Posted 7/29/2007 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   
You are so right MM
I fight and live with any of these DD everyday BUT I choose to fight them and live each day as to the fullest I can
YES it does make you soooo Much stronger and makes you more able to get on with day to day life

I will never give in and I knwo you will not either

Bless your heart
You are very special to me and this forum

Luvs
God Bless
LYN
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 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  


Howlyncat
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   Posted 8/1/2007 4:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Going to their world isnt always easy BUT it is a needed in very many cases and in times

Please just love them revere ,them respect and care for them as you would want to be cared for

LYN
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 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  


minmark
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   Posted 9/6/2007 6:50 PM (GMT -7)   
You have to go to their world to know exactly what they need and what they want.And I want to post a questiion, what do most Alzheimer's patient want, objective, desire as a whole?

Howlyncat
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   Posted 9/8/2007 11:56 AM (GMT -7)   
I really believe they do and to have knowledge that they are revered and respected .............not forgotten and locked away
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 10/10/2007 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Those that are not constantly or even occasionally around Dad DO NOT get this at all

I was told off this past wknd for " lying" to him..........

I was not lying I was going with him to a PLACE he wanted and needed to go ..his memories ....I went with him

I am so disappointed in the whole Thankgsgiving family thing altogether and will not put another family function together ...I tried I tried so bloody hard BUT to no avail ...they are back living in there fantasy worlds thinking "ach" she is nuts nothing wrong with him lol

They all PRETEND he is okay ........Maybe they HAVE to do that ....whatever but dont be down on me all the time when I am the only one other than ( now my younger brother) that SEES what I deal with daily as he has been looking after Dad ( and I will add when he first saw him since Mom's Memorial he was in SHOCK and had to leave as he was crying) mostly except when Cait not working or at School ........then she takes dad on walks to feed the geese and see the sunfish in the pond ......I am glad we are making the memories .........
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 12/30/2007 6:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Bringing to top for Irishman
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Red_34
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   Posted 1/25/2008 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Lyn, I have been reading these posts and I have a question. Sometimes Gma will "make up" stories but really it's a twist on her reality. What is the right thing to do? Do I go with it or try to correct some of the "twists"? Do they get agitated when they are corrected? Normally Gma looks to me to supply her answers to certain things - so I'm not sure if this would be one of those times.
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 1/25/2008 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Red...it would really depend on where she goes with her Fantasies .IF it it something that you can bring her back to WHAT really happened on a certain day by saying something like ."Oh GMA I remember this and this happening on that day too can you ...... or you can take her and go with the reality she perceives as long as it is not way out there..

I will go with much of what dad says BUT I do remind him or correct him on some things ..I find he does not get aggitated with me or cait but will with others

I am sure you can find ways to work around this by trying lil things at a time .or if she does get WAY out there tell her 'No GMA it happened this way .as far as I remember.......

The reason we have to sometimes go to their worl is that they have reverted back in time and they always dont have the days and times together or right ..places and ppl get confused in their minds .....and sometimes it is so much easier to agree and go with it as long as it not hurtful to you or family members or GMA .......

I wish you all the best and give her a big Huggle for me k

Take care of you too

I do so admire you for all you are doing ..there are not many anymore that will have parents or loved ones in their homes as it is a very hard job at times and can be frustrating as well especially when the caregiver is sick as you are ........Be well my friend and let me know if this helps .....LYN
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Red_34
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   Posted 1/25/2008 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Lyn. Yeah, Gma never gets angry with me for nothing! She is such a sweetheart to me. I just wasn't sure I was enabling her with her "delusions". So it's best to try to keep them grounded in the reality then? I have to say though that some of her stories are quite entertaining! lol
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Jeannie143
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   Posted 1/25/2008 10:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes you can use the delusions to help them, too. When I was in college I spent my summers working at a nursing home and many of the residents had what we now know is Alzheimers. I remember one lady in particular who had some of her nice furniture in her room and we dressed her in nice dresses with earrings and makeup every day. She could no longer take interest in feeding herself so I was usually assigned to feed her.

I was a dumb kid with no real training but I did my best. She used to refuse her meals and say she wanted to go out to eat. So I'd walk out of the room with the tray and then come back in. I'd put down the tray and ask her if she liked this place to eat. I'd tuck in her napkin, ask her if she cared for coffee and then give her a sip. In no time at all she would be eating her meal and telling me how good the service was here and how we should come back again. She called me by her sister's name (who was long dead) and said to be sure to leave a big tip.

She enjoyed those 'out to eat' lunches with her 'sister' and she ate every bite. If I would have corrected her and brought her back to the here and now she would have been saddened to remember her sister was dead and she was going to end her days in this little room. I was all too happy to let her have her fantasy...
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Red_34
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   Posted 1/26/2008 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow, Jeannie........that is awesome :)
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 1/27/2008 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes and such a GREAT way to go about it
Yes it is good to try and keep them in some semblance of reality BUT it is definitely okay to go with them to their world and my dad sure has some interesting tales to tell ......he is such a teddy bear ......

Thanks Jeannie I appreciate your input ..........For a " dumb kid" you did Dang well I would say ..Many nurses with yrs of training would not have thought of that one
Kudos to you

Input always appreciated ..........Luvs
LYN


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  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 11/25/2008 6:02:57 AM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/9/2008 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Important info IMHO

LYN
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 1/2/2009 1:21 PM (GMT -7)   
...........Even as the end was coming and the machines were being taken off I still went with dad on his journey to meet his Maker and be with Mom

God How I miss them so..................

Cherish your parents please
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
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                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Howlyncat
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   Posted 4/15/2009 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
To the top for newer members
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

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                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


SnowyLynne
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   Posted 4/15/2009 4:16 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree 100%!
SnowyLynne

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