things not looking great

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dragonfly137927
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 8/20/2007 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone,
 
On friday they Dx my nan with pneumonia.  They started her on IV antibiotcs.  Later thet night my mom called me and my great uncle passed away unexpectedly at home from a probable heart attack (my nans brother in law).  Just to add to the family stress.
 
I called my mom this morning and was tols she took today and tomorrow off and she had been planning on going in today since the wake is 5-8 tonight which doesnt conflict with her work schedule.  I called the her at home and informed me that the NH called last night that my nan isnt doing well.  They went down to the NH and it was never written anywhere but her wishes are that she is a DNR.  Her pneumonia is getting worse she was all mucusy and having a very hard time breating.  My papa signed the DNR order last night which was very hard for him to do.  If they were ever to do pulmonary compressions that would kill her anyway.  Just the hand my mom held during one of her anxiety attacks caused there to be bruising on her hand.  They mentioned Hospice (which they also have at the NH since it is part of a hospital in the state).  They are treating her with morphine for the pain and they had her in a reclining chair (they have a cushioned bar that goes across so they cannot fall out) behind the desk last night.  My family finally left at 2 this morning.  They said that there they have had people in hospice for over 3 yrs so it doesnt mean she will definitly pass tomorrow. 
 
My other great uncle (papas oldest bother) is in ICU they finally found the illness that is causing his reflexes such as swallowing, talking and breathing to not work.  They do have a treatment for what he has but he isnt responding as well as they thought. 
 
My joints from my CD are so bad right now I am walking like gorilla and even though I had intestinal surgery recently I am spending lots of time having D...had to vent and really stressed.
Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987
 
 


dragonfly137927
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 8/20/2007 4:17 PM (GMT -6)   
When my parents left today to go to my great uncle's wake they basically explained that they are doing the Hospice more for my Papa rather than my nan. My mother basically was told they dont expect her to live long enough for hospice maybe tonight or tomorrow is when my mom said. I am unsure if they gave her that time frame or that is what she assumed after hearing about doing the hospice more for my papa who is still in denial and thinks she looks well. I guess Hospice also helps with grief as well from what I gather.
Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/21/2007 6:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there
Wow
I dont know how you are managing all this and my heart is definitely going out to you ,your mom and nan ........Papa and dad

This sounds sooo much akin to what happened with my Mom it is really kinda taking me back
Mom was only 68 pds when she passed and had pneumonia as well .........although the IV meds may help your nan and if they are talking about putting her in Hospice I am sure that like you said it wont be today nor tomorrow

I remember the DNR's all too well in places I worked and the one I owned I always felt sad but then I realized that it would most likely be for the best ......these ppl had un TX cancers and or other DD that left them,families and docs no other option really and they had to have it put on the Kardex definitely
I am sure it had to have been hell for your Papa last night ......I am so sorry

I am also so saddened by the other unexpected death of your great uncle
It always seems to me that stress begets stress more times than not and I do understand what YOU have to be going thru with this and the CD it has to be playing such havoc on your body and the DD...............as well as the rest of family........their sadness and sorrow comes into this so much as you know
I am glad you seem to have such a close knit family that is so supportive

Please let me know how things go hun and know my heart thoughts and prayers are with you and all of your family at this time ..........

God Bless
LYN
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dragonfly137927
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 8/21/2007 7:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Today she was comfortable early in the day. My family went there after the funeral (I now have some sort of throat bug, white patches etc had this last month and went away on its own but no need to bring more sickness to my nana). Her oxygen level without the nasal canula was below 80% (I am unsure what % exactly). Still when no one is there visiting her they move her in that chair near the nurses desk. My mom was sittin on the bed with her the last time I called her (my nan didnt want a phone set up so I just call my moms cell and get info that way) and had to hold her hand since nan was removing the nasal canula otherwise. As of this afternoon she is spitting her pills out whether she is refusing them or unable to really swallow no one knows.

Now she is getting her adivan and morphine IV, I guess since hospice is setting her up tomorrow they figure adivan is fine at this point now. Last night my mom held her cell up to nana so I could talk to her she was sleeping but the nurses said she could still hear us. Tonight she was awake when I called and I spoke with her, my mom had to tell me what nan said due to her being soft spoken and weak. I know it wont be long now but as long as the last thing I say to her is that my husband and I love her that makes me a little more at peace. When I was there Sunday she was so out of it she didnt know who was there, I remember kissing her forhead when I left but couldnt recall telling her I love her, my mom reassured me that I did but I feel better now that she heard me and even tho I couldnt understand her she said she loves us too.

I just keep thin king as of Sept 4th I am back at work after being on TDI since February, they already took my employee discount away and fear they will not pay me for bereavement. My husbands job does not allow for spouses grandparents either.

Thank you for all the prayers
Stef
Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987
 
 


minmark
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 182
   Posted 8/21/2007 8:11 PM (GMT -6)   

Hospice care focuses mainly on pain management and comfort. This is not to extend life. Hospice is reserved for people who have less than six months to live. But it doesn't mean that you'll be dying within this given period. You can be a hospice for several years due to ups and down of your condition. And if you recover, you can withdraw from being hospice anytime.

In order to be eligible for hospice care, guidelines require at least one dementia-related medical complications such as: aspiration pneumonia, sepsis or severe infections, Upper urinary tract infection, bedsores and severe weight loss. 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/22/2007 7:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Steph
I am always thinking of you and what you and your family is going thru right now

NO it does not mean she will be gone within 6 mths but yes it is for keeping thm comfy and w/o pain
The ppl I have met in my career working in Hospic's have Empathy and plenty of love and a BIG heart of caring for those in the hospice

I tis a very difficult place to be in as well as to work in one
No matter the " Golden Rule"
of NOT getting close to your patients .......YOU do ....I was the worst for this believe me and yes it broke my heart with each one passing BUT I had made memories with them whether it was just brushing their long hair ......putting lotion and or make up on them ......
Doing the men's ties all the shaves .......you name it I did it
I never EVER expected anymore from my employees that I WOULD not do myself ......

I sure hope you can get some rest and try to keep in your mind and heart that ppl do really care about you and your wonderful Nan

God Bless and Keep You's All in His Arms .........

Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
          Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
                 EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
                 " Friends Are Cheaper Than Therapists "
 
  
                                  

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